Things have been going my way lately, and I'm starting to like it.
- I get to visit Keri this weekend from Friday to Monday
- I returned a library book on Friday that was due January 5th, and didn't have to pay late fees because apparently you get a 20 day grace period
- Bob Dylan is coming to Chicago for 4 shows in April and Keri is finally going with me to see him
- I went on a date Friday
- We got an extremely high water bill last week, so we called to ask about it, got our toilets fixed because apaprently they always run, and got the bill cut in half
- Pompeii is finally on tonight. It's actually on the Discovery Channel though, not the Hisotry Channel, thanks Jenn for making me look it up
- My mom gave me $100 for food
First of all, I'm going to ISU for three nights. Three fucking nights! I am so excited. Usually when I've gone there to visit, I've never been able to stay more than one night, so this is fuckass exciting. Chandler is giving me a ride on Friday, but he wants to come home Saturday and I don't want to, so I have to take this bus home to Chicago, then have my dad drive me back to school on Monday morning. I was worried that I would be overstaying my welcome, but as Keri put it, "You've been overstaying your welcome for the last 19 years, so why would 3 more days be a problem?" I couldn't have said it better myself. Also, everyone congratulate Keri because she got laid last night. We had a contest with two of her friends, that you had to get laid by Sunday, and the losers give the winners a hug. A pretty hefty prize, I know. You'll get your hug this Friday, whore. Didn't mom teach us not to be like peanut butter?
Bob Dylan loves me and I get to see him either April 1st or 2nd. I saw him for the first time when I was 16, so this will be my ninth time in a little less that 5 years seeing him. Fuck yeah bitches.
I went on my first actual I'll-pick-you-up-at-7:30 date this Friday. I went with this guy Antonio (who's 6 feet,6 fucking inches tall. Good lord. I said I wanted a tall man, but not the Jolly Green Giant) who is in 2 of my classes this semester. He had asked if I wanted to hang out on Friday, so the rest of the week, I was joking around saying I had a date, but I really thought we'd just be hanging out with friends or something. He called Friday and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner, so I guess it was a "real" date. With a name like Antonio, I thought he was Italian or something, but I guess he's half Mexican. I don't know how that is possible, because he looked whiter than me and as Emily put it "looked British". Jenn, maybe you guys are related. What part of Mexico are you from again? Sorry, I probably sound like Jay and the whole Kenosha thing (yeah thats right bitch, it's getting old) so I'll stop calling you Mexican. But anyways, back to Antonio. He told me I had pretty eyes, a "beautiful smile that lit up my face"(how do I repsond to that? 'Uh.. you too') and I looked "cute". Cute? Guys shouldn't say that word I've decided because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Say something manly like "Goddamn you look my favorite toolbox" or something. Ok, that didn't make sense, but I couldn't think of anything. We're going to go see a movie on Tuesday, but I'm not even sure if I like him or not. He seems like a nice enough guy, but there's just something a little off about him, and I don't know how to describe it.
The thing that sucks about this situation is that he's in 2 of my classes, which means there is no way to avoid him. Not that I want to avoid him yet, but I'm always preparing for the future. I hope this doesn't turn awkward on Monday. Wish me luck.
Last night at Chandler's this girl gave me Joni Mitchell's album Blue, which I had asked her to burn for me like 3 months ago, the one time I had met her. She actually remembered to bring it this time, and I thought that was fucking awesome. I didn't even remember what cd I had asked her to burn for me. Thank you again Elise!
Good thing Desperate Housewives is a rerun tonight, so I can watch Pompeii be destroyed. Yes, I am obsessed with that show and am not afraid to admit it. I'm really excited for the Pompeii thing tonight. They've been hyping it forever. I guess it first aired on the BBC in 2003 and got really high ratings, so it must be good. Remember - Discovery Channel, not History Channel. Also, Bill, Jon Heder aka Napoleon Dynamite will be on Jay Leno February 2nd, so watch it.
Also, I was just reading some on the Sundance Film Festival, and a screening of the movie Strangers With Candy played there. I hope it gets picked up by a studio soon and they release it because I can't wait to see it. Hopefully by the end of this year it'll come out.
I think this is too long and boring, so I'm going to wrap it up now. A week from today is the Super Bowl. Go Eagles, bitches.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Who Wants A Postcard?
While in my history of India from 1700-1947 (fascinating class, I'll lend you my notes to read in your spare time) class this afternoon, I needed to do something to keep me from lapsing into a coma, so I made a list of all the places I need to visit before I die. I love making lists about anything, plus it entertained me for at least 25 minutes, so everyone wins. I now present to you my future vacations.
Australia - I've wanted to go here since I was a wee little lad (laddette?) so I could see a real kangaroo. They were my favorite animals since their name starts with a "K", as does mine if you weren't aware. Pretty smart logic for a 5 year old, if I do say so myself. I also would love to see the Sydney Opera House and find Nemo in the harbour.
Paris - Who doesn't want to visit the City of Lights? My friend went there and said it smelled weird, but I think she was just being racist. I mean, c'mon, everyone loves the French, right? I took French in high school for four years, but all I retained was "Bonjour" which I'm sure will get me very far.
the South of France - Yes, I probably could have just said France and combined these past two, but these seem like very distinctively different places besides for the fact that Frenchies live in both of them. Ever hear anyone say, "I'm going to southern France"? No you haven't because everyone always says "the south of France" which seems so much friggin cooler. It looks like an awesome place, and I would like to frequent it when I marry a rich man.
London - I'm sure I've mentioned it a shitload of times how I want to live in or visit London, but here it is again. I love British accents and I love me some crooked teeth even more. And I want to ride in the giant ferris wheel.
Amsterdam - I need to check out that red light district I've heard so much about. Plus I'm part Dutch. And want to wear wooden shoes. And love tulips. It's a match made in heaven.
Ireland - I have to visit the homeland at least once in my life. I'm pretty sure it's required just like if you're Muslim, you're supposed to visit Mecca at least once. Hopefully I'll be able to cross this one off the list by next Thanksgiving.
Norway, Finland & Sweden - I thought I just wanted to go to Norway to see the fijords (or is that Finland? I might be making shit up), but I figured I might as well just take out all of Scandinavia if I'm going to one of them. I bet after visiting there I won't be bitching anymore about 8 inches of snow. It looks tres tres pretty there and I can't wait to visit.
Mt. Vesuvius & Rome - I'm a history major, remember? Not that only historians want to go there, but I get excited about seeing where Julius Caesar once made a famous speech, or the part of Rome that Nero burned down. I'd probably go on history overload there, but I think it'd be worth it.
San Francisco - Don't worry, I'll be sure to wear some flowers in my hair.
Egypt - Especially the Pyramids. Once again, I know this place would make me go into a seizure with how much history will be thrown at me there. I'm getting a little too excited just thinking about it. When I was making this list, I was trying to think if there was any place in Africa I wanted to visit, even after I had wrote down Egypt. Does anyone else besides me tend to forget Egypt is a part of Africa? Of course I always remember that it is, but it always slips my mind for half a second. I'm not like Emily thinking that New England is a country all by itself, I swear.
Switzerland - I would love to be able to say someday, "Yeah, I skiied on the Swiss Alps before." After that, I'm sure going skiing on the shitty little hills in Wisconsin or Michigan would never be the same again. I also have a shitload of illegal to money to hide, so I'm thinking about stashing it in one of their banks, you know, to avoid taxes. Don't tell anyone.
I have some more, like New Zealand, Greece, Morrocco, and Fiji, but I don't feel like writing about those. I think I have more than needed there anyways. So, anyone want to go on a vacation? Let me know. I can pack in 5 minutes, bitches.
Australia - I've wanted to go here since I was a wee little lad (laddette?) so I could see a real kangaroo. They were my favorite animals since their name starts with a "K", as does mine if you weren't aware. Pretty smart logic for a 5 year old, if I do say so myself. I also would love to see the Sydney Opera House and find Nemo in the harbour.
Paris - Who doesn't want to visit the City of Lights? My friend went there and said it smelled weird, but I think she was just being racist. I mean, c'mon, everyone loves the French, right? I took French in high school for four years, but all I retained was "Bonjour" which I'm sure will get me very far.
the South of France - Yes, I probably could have just said France and combined these past two, but these seem like very distinctively different places besides for the fact that Frenchies live in both of them. Ever hear anyone say, "I'm going to southern France"? No you haven't because everyone always says "the south of France" which seems so much friggin cooler. It looks like an awesome place, and I would like to frequent it when I marry a rich man.
London - I'm sure I've mentioned it a shitload of times how I want to live in or visit London, but here it is again. I love British accents and I love me some crooked teeth even more. And I want to ride in the giant ferris wheel.
Amsterdam - I need to check out that red light district I've heard so much about. Plus I'm part Dutch. And want to wear wooden shoes. And love tulips. It's a match made in heaven.
Ireland - I have to visit the homeland at least once in my life. I'm pretty sure it's required just like if you're Muslim, you're supposed to visit Mecca at least once. Hopefully I'll be able to cross this one off the list by next Thanksgiving.
Norway, Finland & Sweden - I thought I just wanted to go to Norway to see the fijords (or is that Finland? I might be making shit up), but I figured I might as well just take out all of Scandinavia if I'm going to one of them. I bet after visiting there I won't be bitching anymore about 8 inches of snow. It looks tres tres pretty there and I can't wait to visit.
Mt. Vesuvius & Rome - I'm a history major, remember? Not that only historians want to go there, but I get excited about seeing where Julius Caesar once made a famous speech, or the part of Rome that Nero burned down. I'd probably go on history overload there, but I think it'd be worth it.
San Francisco - Don't worry, I'll be sure to wear some flowers in my hair.
Egypt - Especially the Pyramids. Once again, I know this place would make me go into a seizure with how much history will be thrown at me there. I'm getting a little too excited just thinking about it. When I was making this list, I was trying to think if there was any place in Africa I wanted to visit, even after I had wrote down Egypt. Does anyone else besides me tend to forget Egypt is a part of Africa? Of course I always remember that it is, but it always slips my mind for half a second. I'm not like Emily thinking that New England is a country all by itself, I swear.
Switzerland - I would love to be able to say someday, "Yeah, I skiied on the Swiss Alps before." After that, I'm sure going skiing on the shitty little hills in Wisconsin or Michigan would never be the same again. I also have a shitload of illegal to money to hide, so I'm thinking about stashing it in one of their banks, you know, to avoid taxes. Don't tell anyone.
I have some more, like New Zealand, Greece, Morrocco, and Fiji, but I don't feel like writing about those. I think I have more than needed there anyways. So, anyone want to go on a vacation? Let me know. I can pack in 5 minutes, bitches.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Jesus Christ, We're Too Late
I've been slacking for the past week, but I finally feel like blogging again, so here's another boring post for you to read. And I don't blame you if you don't leave comments; I don't derserve them because I haven't left any lately, but I swear I will tonight. Promise, bitches.
This past weekend was fun at times and other times it was frostbitten. On Friday, Emily, me and some friends went to this bar/restaurant at 9:30 because they don't start carding until 10:00, plus a friend knows one of the bouncers, so I could get in. It was $1 you-call-its, and thank god it was or else I would have whipped out my debit card and racked up a tab of $86 dollars. I don't know how I'm going to afford it when I finally do turn 21. I should add at this point that on Friday it snowed a shitload and by Saturday afternoon we had gotten about 8-9 inches. This didn't stop me from wearing my heels though, because I'm a dumbass. (Some of you heard this story already, so just skip over it). So we leave the bar, go to a party, it was lame, so they want to go back to the bar. There were charging a $5 cover, and since we had gotten there early we didn't have the required wristband. But luckily my friend talked to her bouncer friend and we all got wristbands for free. Sweetass. The bar closes at 2:00 and we go back to my old friend Dan's house. By then I just wanted to go home and was willingly to walk by myself, but Emily wanted to go too, we just had to walk to her car which was about 2 blocks away. It started out fine, but then we had to cut through this parking lot that hadn't been plowed, so I'm trying to walk through 8 inches of snow in my heels. I can't walk anymore because my feet are so cold, so I tell Emily I'm going to wait at the corner. To get to the corner though, I still had to walk through about 150 feet of snow. I'm trying to run, and I look down to see I lost a shoe. I couldn't tell the difference if I had shoes on or was barefoot becuase my feet were about thisclose to frostbite. I find my shoe, and run again, only to lose another shoe. I decide "Fuck the shoes, I jsut need to get out of the snow" so I'm running with one shoe, then lose the other one. I get to the corner and am sitting on same random person's porch even though I can hear people inside because I can't feel my feet at all. Emily finally drives up and it horrified to see I don't have shoes on. I honestly thought I was going to get gangrene or something. I finally got in our apartment and am almost in tears because of how much my feet hurt. Feeling finally comes back to them and I am glad to say that I did not have to amputate either one of them. I could care less about the shoes, they were only $20 and I didn't like them much anyways. Maybe when the snow melts I can try to find them. My feet still felt a little fucked up the next two days, but now they feel completely normal. The kicker - on Saturday (when obviously the snow had not melted yet) Emily is getting ready and goes, "Should I wear my heels tonight?" Please tell me you're kidding. Didn't she learn anything from last nights episode? Some people.
Then Saturday sucked ass because both Keri and Kelly, the old roomie, were supposed to come up for the night, but the goddamn weather caused both of them to stay home. I love the snow, but not when it fucks with my plans. My parents are douchebags though. It hadn't even been snowing for about 3 hours and they still wouldn't let Keri come up here. Bastards.
The reason Keri went home on Saturday was because she got my mom and her tickets to see Jesus Christ Superstar, for her birthday. Keri, being the smartypants she is, neglects to actually look at the tickets for the play she had had for over a week, and thinks the play is at 8:00. So they drive downtown and get there, only to discover it had actually been at 2:00. Only 6 hours late. No biggie. $150, down the drain. I laughed so hard when she told me this.
Keri: Ask me how the play was.
Me: How was the play?
Keri: OH WAIT, WE DIDN'T SEE IT BECAUSE WE WERE 6 HOURS LATE.
Me: Holy shit, what did mom say?
Keri: She started crying because she felt so bad for me, and then I was crying because I felt bad that I had crapped on her birthday present. The parking lot lady didn't even make us pay because she felt so bad for us.
You crazy bitch, look at the ticket next time. I hope Lemony Snicket (which they saw instead) was worth that $150 that you shelled out for it. Maybe you can see Jesus next weekend. Oh wait, no you can't; that was the last weekend that it was in Chicago. What a series of unfortunate events.
Emily is gone for the night, and for some reason when she's gone, it feels like when your parents go away for the night and leave the house to you. I can smoke in the front room! I can play music loud at night! I don't have to heard the C-word for 16 hours! Life is so wonderful sometimes.
I've been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to think of something else to write about, but I got nothing. I'll go comment now, because I know that's all you really care about. Oh, and download Oh What a World by Rufus Wainwright. It's probably too queer for most of you, but it's a magnificent song. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. As my mom would say, gobs of love bitches. Minus the "bitches" part.
This past weekend was fun at times and other times it was frostbitten. On Friday, Emily, me and some friends went to this bar/restaurant at 9:30 because they don't start carding until 10:00, plus a friend knows one of the bouncers, so I could get in. It was $1 you-call-its, and thank god it was or else I would have whipped out my debit card and racked up a tab of $86 dollars. I don't know how I'm going to afford it when I finally do turn 21. I should add at this point that on Friday it snowed a shitload and by Saturday afternoon we had gotten about 8-9 inches. This didn't stop me from wearing my heels though, because I'm a dumbass. (Some of you heard this story already, so just skip over it). So we leave the bar, go to a party, it was lame, so they want to go back to the bar. There were charging a $5 cover, and since we had gotten there early we didn't have the required wristband. But luckily my friend talked to her bouncer friend and we all got wristbands for free. Sweetass. The bar closes at 2:00 and we go back to my old friend Dan's house. By then I just wanted to go home and was willingly to walk by myself, but Emily wanted to go too, we just had to walk to her car which was about 2 blocks away. It started out fine, but then we had to cut through this parking lot that hadn't been plowed, so I'm trying to walk through 8 inches of snow in my heels. I can't walk anymore because my feet are so cold, so I tell Emily I'm going to wait at the corner. To get to the corner though, I still had to walk through about 150 feet of snow. I'm trying to run, and I look down to see I lost a shoe. I couldn't tell the difference if I had shoes on or was barefoot becuase my feet were about thisclose to frostbite. I find my shoe, and run again, only to lose another shoe. I decide "Fuck the shoes, I jsut need to get out of the snow" so I'm running with one shoe, then lose the other one. I get to the corner and am sitting on same random person's porch even though I can hear people inside because I can't feel my feet at all. Emily finally drives up and it horrified to see I don't have shoes on. I honestly thought I was going to get gangrene or something. I finally got in our apartment and am almost in tears because of how much my feet hurt. Feeling finally comes back to them and I am glad to say that I did not have to amputate either one of them. I could care less about the shoes, they were only $20 and I didn't like them much anyways. Maybe when the snow melts I can try to find them. My feet still felt a little fucked up the next two days, but now they feel completely normal. The kicker - on Saturday (when obviously the snow had not melted yet) Emily is getting ready and goes, "Should I wear my heels tonight?" Please tell me you're kidding. Didn't she learn anything from last nights episode? Some people.
Then Saturday sucked ass because both Keri and Kelly, the old roomie, were supposed to come up for the night, but the goddamn weather caused both of them to stay home. I love the snow, but not when it fucks with my plans. My parents are douchebags though. It hadn't even been snowing for about 3 hours and they still wouldn't let Keri come up here. Bastards.
The reason Keri went home on Saturday was because she got my mom and her tickets to see Jesus Christ Superstar, for her birthday. Keri, being the smartypants she is, neglects to actually look at the tickets for the play she had had for over a week, and thinks the play is at 8:00. So they drive downtown and get there, only to discover it had actually been at 2:00. Only 6 hours late. No biggie. $150, down the drain. I laughed so hard when she told me this.
Keri: Ask me how the play was.
Me: How was the play?
Keri: OH WAIT, WE DIDN'T SEE IT BECAUSE WE WERE 6 HOURS LATE.
Me: Holy shit, what did mom say?
Keri: She started crying because she felt so bad for me, and then I was crying because I felt bad that I had crapped on her birthday present. The parking lot lady didn't even make us pay because she felt so bad for us.
You crazy bitch, look at the ticket next time. I hope Lemony Snicket (which they saw instead) was worth that $150 that you shelled out for it. Maybe you can see Jesus next weekend. Oh wait, no you can't; that was the last weekend that it was in Chicago. What a series of unfortunate events.
Emily is gone for the night, and for some reason when she's gone, it feels like when your parents go away for the night and leave the house to you. I can smoke in the front room! I can play music loud at night! I don't have to heard the C-word for 16 hours! Life is so wonderful sometimes.
I've been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to think of something else to write about, but I got nothing. I'll go comment now, because I know that's all you really care about. Oh, and download Oh What a World by Rufus Wainwright. It's probably too queer for most of you, but it's a magnificent song. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. As my mom would say, gobs of love bitches. Minus the "bitches" part.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
We're All Looking At A Different Picture Through This New Frame Of Mind
During my anthropology class today, my professor was saying how he had travelled all over the world digging up old people and studying them. Anthropology was my major when I first came to college but I switched it to history because I like history more, even if there isn't really any job options after I graduate. Well yeah, there are some, but most likely when I say I want to work in a museum after graduation, I mean in the gift shop or as a janitor. I say I want to be a curator, but really, I don't even know what a curator does. But anyways, my joblessness isn't the point I'm going to make here.
When I was in class, I realized I don't want to stay in Chicago my whole life. I love Chi-town (even though I never even heard it called that until I was about 17) to pieces, but I want to see what else is out there. And after I graduate is going to be the time to do it. I won't be tied down to anyone who has a job somewhere else ( I will be a spinster) and certainly won't have any little kiddies to drag around. So if I want to apply for a job in London, I can do it. Or Boston, or San Francisco or New York or Seattle for that matter. I got really excited about the prospect of moving somewhere completely new. I mean, how fucking cool would that be, to move to London. It would be ballsy certainly, motherfucking ballsy, but I think I could handle it. Don't you think everyone would accept me with open arms once they hear my precious Chicago accent? Maybe not, but it's better than a Texan accent, right? Right?
Thinking about all that makes graduation seem less frightening. And that's all I'm really looking for, something to look forward to so I won't be a hysterical mess crawled up in the fetal postion the night before graduation. It will also make my parents happy when they realize I won't be moving back home after college. I'm such a good daughter.
Other than that epiphany, class was pretty boring today. I found out that I have a test on February 24th though, which blows because that's the day my family leaves to go on our ski trip. Here's to hoping I can sweet talk the teacher into letting me take it early so I don't have to miss the trip. I'm really looking forward to going skiing, so that bastard better not mess up my plans. Or maybe I can feign the death of my grandpa again (I'm not jinxing them, they're both already dead) to be able to go. Mom will help me figure something out as the date gets closer.
Emily is driving me to a new level of insanity. I mean, I love the girl to death, but now she's done something that might end with me stabbing her repeatedly. She's gone on the goddamn Atkins Diet. This means that she says the word "carbs" about 19,000 times a day, no exaggeration. It is now known as "the c-word" and the next time she says it, I'm going to go crazy.
"God Katie, why did your mom buy these M&Ms? Do you know there's 18 carbs in 3 of them?"
"I had to throw out all my pasta. You don't even want to know how many carbs are in it."
"I can't drink beer anymore. It has too many carbs and you know carbs are the devil."
"All I can eat is chicken because it doesn't have too many carbs. You know, I'm only supposed to eat 80 carbs a day."
"No way, I can't eat any of those nachos! I bet it has like 55 carbs in one of them."
Then I stabbed her.
I keep telling her not to say "the c-word" in front of me because I'm going to go apeshit if she says it one more time, but it's no use. She says she's only going to try it out for two weeks, but I know these two weeks are going to be the longest of my life. Please god, let her lose those dreaded 15 pounds so she can shut up about it already. She only weighs like 120 anyways, but I've given up telling her she doesn't need to lose any weight. It's like talking to a brick wall. I think I'm going to make spaghetti with garlic bread and a side of potatoes tomorrow, just to make things difficult for her. I can be a great friend (sometimes), but not when carbs are involved. When carbs are involved I turn into a bitchface.
Lastly, I would like to clear up what I said about Asians yesterday because I feel like a douchebag. I didn't mean I don't like Asians at all, I just meant that Asian history is not my forte. It's not only Asian history I don't like, I also don't enjoy learning about any of the world before the 1500's, save for the Egyptians who were some cool motherfuckers. It's not ignorance either, because I have studied it, and then afterwards decided my hatred. I know some people really get into it, and I'm sure it's enthralling for them, but it's not for me. It you wanted to talk about the French Revolution or World War II or the Great Depression though, I'm all ears. Speaking of history, you all should watch the History Channel on January 30th because they're going to have this special on Pompeii, the city in Italy that was destroyed by the volcano and was left perfectly preserved. History rocks, bitches.
When I was in class, I realized I don't want to stay in Chicago my whole life. I love Chi-town (even though I never even heard it called that until I was about 17) to pieces, but I want to see what else is out there. And after I graduate is going to be the time to do it. I won't be tied down to anyone who has a job somewhere else ( I will be a spinster) and certainly won't have any little kiddies to drag around. So if I want to apply for a job in London, I can do it. Or Boston, or San Francisco or New York or Seattle for that matter. I got really excited about the prospect of moving somewhere completely new. I mean, how fucking cool would that be, to move to London. It would be ballsy certainly, motherfucking ballsy, but I think I could handle it. Don't you think everyone would accept me with open arms once they hear my precious Chicago accent? Maybe not, but it's better than a Texan accent, right? Right?
Thinking about all that makes graduation seem less frightening. And that's all I'm really looking for, something to look forward to so I won't be a hysterical mess crawled up in the fetal postion the night before graduation. It will also make my parents happy when they realize I won't be moving back home after college. I'm such a good daughter.
Other than that epiphany, class was pretty boring today. I found out that I have a test on February 24th though, which blows because that's the day my family leaves to go on our ski trip. Here's to hoping I can sweet talk the teacher into letting me take it early so I don't have to miss the trip. I'm really looking forward to going skiing, so that bastard better not mess up my plans. Or maybe I can feign the death of my grandpa again (I'm not jinxing them, they're both already dead) to be able to go. Mom will help me figure something out as the date gets closer.
Emily is driving me to a new level of insanity. I mean, I love the girl to death, but now she's done something that might end with me stabbing her repeatedly. She's gone on the goddamn Atkins Diet. This means that she says the word "carbs" about 19,000 times a day, no exaggeration. It is now known as "the c-word" and the next time she says it, I'm going to go crazy.
"God Katie, why did your mom buy these M&Ms? Do you know there's 18 carbs in 3 of them?"
"I had to throw out all my pasta. You don't even want to know how many carbs are in it."
"I can't drink beer anymore. It has too many carbs and you know carbs are the devil."
"All I can eat is chicken because it doesn't have too many carbs. You know, I'm only supposed to eat 80 carbs a day."
"No way, I can't eat any of those nachos! I bet it has like 55 carbs in one of them."
Then I stabbed her.
I keep telling her not to say "the c-word" in front of me because I'm going to go apeshit if she says it one more time, but it's no use. She says she's only going to try it out for two weeks, but I know these two weeks are going to be the longest of my life. Please god, let her lose those dreaded 15 pounds so she can shut up about it already. She only weighs like 120 anyways, but I've given up telling her she doesn't need to lose any weight. It's like talking to a brick wall. I think I'm going to make spaghetti with garlic bread and a side of potatoes tomorrow, just to make things difficult for her. I can be a great friend (sometimes), but not when carbs are involved. When carbs are involved I turn into a bitchface.
Lastly, I would like to clear up what I said about Asians yesterday because I feel like a douchebag. I didn't mean I don't like Asians at all, I just meant that Asian history is not my forte. It's not only Asian history I don't like, I also don't enjoy learning about any of the world before the 1500's, save for the Egyptians who were some cool motherfuckers. It's not ignorance either, because I have studied it, and then afterwards decided my hatred. I know some people really get into it, and I'm sure it's enthralling for them, but it's not for me. It you wanted to talk about the French Revolution or World War II or the Great Depression though, I'm all ears. Speaking of history, you all should watch the History Channel on January 30th because they're going to have this special on Pompeii, the city in Italy that was destroyed by the volcano and was left perfectly preserved. History rocks, bitches.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
They Will See Us Waving From Such Great Heights
I haven't been in the mood to blog since I got back to school on Saturday, but I'll know I'm going to eventually get back into the swing of it, so I might as well stop procrastinating. I now use a computer that has a properly working Enter key.
See?
I told you it works.
It's wonderful to be back at school. My feet don't touch the end of this bed like my bed at home, I don't get frostbite if I walk around sans a hoodie, I don't have to be up until 12:30 everyday, I don't have to worry about Keri stealing my work clothes, and most importantly, I don't have to listen to my mom telling me to "help out more around the house" and ask me questions at 8:30 in the morning when she knows I'm Supreme Bitch Lady of the Known World before noon. Some people just don't ever learn.
Besides all that, it was a pretty good break. Uneventful, yes, but horrible, no. All I really did was work (not that I have money to show for it) and go out for coffee. I'd say the highlight was New Years Eve at U of I. But anyways, I'll stop reminiscing now. Tonight's a school night and I'm actually kind of excited. The first day is always interesting, finding out who your teachers are and seeing if you know anyone in your class. The excitement wears off within 3 minutes, but still. I'm kinda looking forward to new classes even though I'm not really excited about any of them, which really makes sense. When I'm doing my schedule, the classes I will take have to fall into two categories.
1 - After 2:00 pm.
2 - Being held only two days a week, avoiding class on Fridays.
Having such high standards severly limits the classes I can take. So I'm taking a Political Science class about Korea, Japan and China just because it's from 2-3:15 on Mondays and Wednesdays. I learned in the history class I took this past semster, "Asia and America" that I hate Asian history and anything having to do with Asia (my apologies to the Asians out there reading this, but hey, it's the truth) . But I would rather force myself to learn about Asia for 16 weeks, than wake up at 10 am to take a cool class like "Hitler's Germany". The damn class was closed anyways. Not that I like Nazis either. I would much prefer an Asian over a Naxi, I swear.
I know I'm a little late on this next subject, but it's my blog, so sue me. I never actually make resolutions because I fail at everything I try, but this is going to be my year goddamnit. I'm going to be glorious and succeed in every endeavor I attempt. Not really, but humor me and agree.
Resolution #1: Lose weight
I know, I know, I KNOW everyone and their mother says this, and I do everything year, yet I've only gotten fatter. Is it really that hard to lose 20 pounds? It might be easier if I didn't watch 80 hours of tv a week, ate something other than Cheetos and moved my fat ass, but who's asking you. Emily's mom got her a scale for Christmas (goddamn you Jo) and even though I knew I would regret it, I stepped on it. I then almost had a seizure when I saw what I weighed. (It was just like out of Heaveyweights, Bill. "Get on the scale son! Get off the scale.") Of course I bitch and moan here, but I know I'll do nothing about it. So why am I still writing about this? I don't know. But I'll pretend I'm going to lose 30 pounds for now. Just play along.
Resolution #2: Visit Keri in Ireland next fall.
So Keri actually follows through with her ideas and is definitly studying abroad in Ireland in Fall of '05. Bitch. I of course never followed through with studying abroad in Austraila or London this summer and instead have to console myself by saying, "Well I CAN'T spend the summer abroad. I need to save up to visit Keri." It makes me feel better for a minute or two. Her friend Amy and I are going to visit her over Thanksgiving and I'm really excited about it. I was looking up airfare and while expecting to pay two arms and a leg for it, I was pleasently surprised to see I could get roundtrip for around $400-$450. Not too shabby.
Resolution # 3: Take summer school.
I have to, if I want to graduate in May 2006. Not that I'm eager to get out of college, but I don't think college will have the same charm if I have to get a job to cover rent and bills once I have to say "Syanara" (help me out here Jenn) to Mom and Dad's money. I only need 5 credits anyways. I think I can handle it.
Resolution #4: Work on getting an internship at a museum for this summer.
Preferably one that pays. A lot of money. An intership would look pretty sweet on my resume, dontcha think? I love all the museums we have in downtown chicago, and theres a ton of them, so I'm hoping this happens. I need to talk to a counselor or something to get the ball rolling on this.
Resolution #5: Prepare myself for my 21st birthday.
There is going to be lots of drinking that day and I need about 4 months to prepare. Maybe I can stop being a pansy about hard liquor, but I doubt it. I just talked to Diana, whose 21st was this past Friday and got insanely jealous. As of right now, the big day is 113 days away. Good lord I can't wait.
I know this post is long, but I have a few last things.
-Emily and I were supposed to go see I Heart Huckabees tonight, but she ditched me because her ex-boyfriend decided to come up for the night. I'm sick of getting ditched by her. I can't wait until I have a boyfriend who I can use as revenge and ditch Emily. How do you like dem apples?
- Emily told me tonight she doesn't know "the order of the wars. Was the Revolutionary War first or the Civil War?" They're only a century apart. Understandable how she could get them mixed up.
- Eric, I got your cd in the mail when Jenn finally sent me the cds she promised so long ago, and I love it. You are a talented, talented guy and I can't wait for your next one, even if I don't get it until 2008.
- Jenn, I love Daniel Evans aka Human Writes. Too bad I read every single one of his posts today. You can tell I have a busy life. I found another funny blog on one of his links, www.shutyerblog.blogspot.com. Check him out, I thought it was funny.
- Bill, I feel like I should have something to say to you, but I talked to you a few hours ago. I hope your stomach didn't eat you last night and you have a not-so-bad hangover when you wake up for work this morning.
It feels good to be back, bitches.
See?
I told you it works.
It's wonderful to be back at school. My feet don't touch the end of this bed like my bed at home, I don't get frostbite if I walk around sans a hoodie, I don't have to be up until 12:30 everyday, I don't have to worry about Keri stealing my work clothes, and most importantly, I don't have to listen to my mom telling me to "help out more around the house" and ask me questions at 8:30 in the morning when she knows I'm Supreme Bitch Lady of the Known World before noon. Some people just don't ever learn.
Besides all that, it was a pretty good break. Uneventful, yes, but horrible, no. All I really did was work (not that I have money to show for it) and go out for coffee. I'd say the highlight was New Years Eve at U of I. But anyways, I'll stop reminiscing now. Tonight's a school night and I'm actually kind of excited. The first day is always interesting, finding out who your teachers are and seeing if you know anyone in your class. The excitement wears off within 3 minutes, but still. I'm kinda looking forward to new classes even though I'm not really excited about any of them, which really makes sense. When I'm doing my schedule, the classes I will take have to fall into two categories.
1 - After 2:00 pm.
2 - Being held only two days a week, avoiding class on Fridays.
Having such high standards severly limits the classes I can take. So I'm taking a Political Science class about Korea, Japan and China just because it's from 2-3:15 on Mondays and Wednesdays. I learned in the history class I took this past semster, "Asia and America" that I hate Asian history and anything having to do with Asia (my apologies to the Asians out there reading this, but hey, it's the truth) . But I would rather force myself to learn about Asia for 16 weeks, than wake up at 10 am to take a cool class like "Hitler's Germany". The damn class was closed anyways. Not that I like Nazis either. I would much prefer an Asian over a Naxi, I swear.
I know I'm a little late on this next subject, but it's my blog, so sue me. I never actually make resolutions because I fail at everything I try, but this is going to be my year goddamnit. I'm going to be glorious and succeed in every endeavor I attempt. Not really, but humor me and agree.
Resolution #1: Lose weight
I know, I know, I KNOW everyone and their mother says this, and I do everything year, yet I've only gotten fatter. Is it really that hard to lose 20 pounds? It might be easier if I didn't watch 80 hours of tv a week, ate something other than Cheetos and moved my fat ass, but who's asking you. Emily's mom got her a scale for Christmas (goddamn you Jo) and even though I knew I would regret it, I stepped on it. I then almost had a seizure when I saw what I weighed. (It was just like out of Heaveyweights, Bill. "Get on the scale son! Get off the scale.") Of course I bitch and moan here, but I know I'll do nothing about it. So why am I still writing about this? I don't know. But I'll pretend I'm going to lose 30 pounds for now. Just play along.
Resolution #2: Visit Keri in Ireland next fall.
So Keri actually follows through with her ideas and is definitly studying abroad in Ireland in Fall of '05. Bitch. I of course never followed through with studying abroad in Austraila or London this summer and instead have to console myself by saying, "Well I CAN'T spend the summer abroad. I need to save up to visit Keri." It makes me feel better for a minute or two. Her friend Amy and I are going to visit her over Thanksgiving and I'm really excited about it. I was looking up airfare and while expecting to pay two arms and a leg for it, I was pleasently surprised to see I could get roundtrip for around $400-$450. Not too shabby.
Resolution # 3: Take summer school.
I have to, if I want to graduate in May 2006. Not that I'm eager to get out of college, but I don't think college will have the same charm if I have to get a job to cover rent and bills once I have to say "Syanara" (help me out here Jenn) to Mom and Dad's money. I only need 5 credits anyways. I think I can handle it.
Resolution #4: Work on getting an internship at a museum for this summer.
Preferably one that pays. A lot of money. An intership would look pretty sweet on my resume, dontcha think? I love all the museums we have in downtown chicago, and theres a ton of them, so I'm hoping this happens. I need to talk to a counselor or something to get the ball rolling on this.
Resolution #5: Prepare myself for my 21st birthday.
There is going to be lots of drinking that day and I need about 4 months to prepare. Maybe I can stop being a pansy about hard liquor, but I doubt it. I just talked to Diana, whose 21st was this past Friday and got insanely jealous. As of right now, the big day is 113 days away. Good lord I can't wait.
I know this post is long, but I have a few last things.
-Emily and I were supposed to go see I Heart Huckabees tonight, but she ditched me because her ex-boyfriend decided to come up for the night. I'm sick of getting ditched by her. I can't wait until I have a boyfriend who I can use as revenge and ditch Emily. How do you like dem apples?
- Emily told me tonight she doesn't know "the order of the wars. Was the Revolutionary War first or the Civil War?" They're only a century apart. Understandable how she could get them mixed up.
- Eric, I got your cd in the mail when Jenn finally sent me the cds she promised so long ago, and I love it. You are a talented, talented guy and I can't wait for your next one, even if I don't get it until 2008.
- Jenn, I love Daniel Evans aka Human Writes. Too bad I read every single one of his posts today. You can tell I have a busy life. I found another funny blog on one of his links, www.shutyerblog.blogspot.com. Check him out, I thought it was funny.
- Bill, I feel like I should have something to say to you, but I talked to you a few hours ago. I hope your stomach didn't eat you last night and you have a not-so-bad hangover when you wake up for work this morning.
It feels good to be back, bitches.
Friday, January 07, 2005
Stop To Pretend, Stop Pretending
For some reason I've been buying DVD's like a motherfucker lately. I don't even know how to work DVD players yet in the past week I've bought 4. Finding Nemo (this movie makes me cry like no other), Garden State (I fucking love this movie. I've watched it 5 times since I bought it), Donnie Darko (The first time I saw this movie, it fucked with my head so bad all I could do was sit on my bed for 20 minutes. I forgot everything about it, so I'm excited to watch it again) and Moulin Rouge (because I love the soundtrack, so shut up about it already. Plus I'm declaring it as mine and Ariel's "movie". We should be looooooovas). I owe my mom $80 and J.P $30 and I'm wasting my money on DVDs. Wonderful. Keri bought The Boondock Saints and we just wateched that. I had seen it forever ago, but forgot it was a really good movie. I need to marry a man with an Irish brogue. I also decided I want to move to Boston after I graduate college. For what? I have no idea. But I'm going to do it goddamnit. NP. I probably won't because I can't see myself ever moving out of Chicago because I love it, but still. I'm sick of where I live though in Chicago. My town has always been know for being very racist and just 3 weeks ago, there was another hate crime here and on the news they showed it as happening about 1/2 a block from my house. I guess three white kids shot at a black kid with bb gun or something. The kid didn't die or wasn't seriously hurt either, but it's those stupid fucks who give my neighborhood a bad name. Not that I live in a bad neighbor hood by any means, if that makes any sense. I wouldn't think twice about walking home from somewhere at 2 am. But anyways, moving on. Now you all think I live in an awful neigborhood, but really, it isn't that bad. NP. I have work tomorrow at 9:30 which blows because I know I won't much sleep. My work has become so clique-y though, I feel like I'm in high school. I'm in the middle for some reason, so I hear everyone's story about why they don't like each other. The sad part is that there's only 6 of us who work there. I really like three of them though, the other 2 I could do without. One of them I don't like is the girl who asked me to be in her wedding. I at first said yes, but then backed out over the summer. I'm so glad I backed out. I mean for chrissakes, she's just my co-worker. I don't enjoy hanging out with her, and don't even talk to her while I'm away at school. She just has no other friends, thats why she asked me. I know it was a bitchy thing to do, to back out, but I don't regret it at all. So she ended up asking this other girl we work with, Jessica, to be in the wedding too. Jessica said yes, then backed out, then said she would be in it again. Now Jessica and Amanda don't even get along. Sorry, I'll move on. I just think it's fucked up to ask 3 of your co-workers to be your bridesmaids. To top it off, she wanted me to be her maid of honor. She also asked the 52 year old lady who works with us to be in the wedding. She said yes too, then backed out. Ok ok, now I'm really done. NP. When I first got the Strokes album Is This It? about 3 years ago, I listened to it everyday for about a year straight. I hadn't listened to it in forever and now I'm obsessed again. Yeah yeah I know a lot of people didn't like them, but I think that album is the best 28 minutes ever. Maybe not ever, but it's a fucking good album. Your grandsons won't ever understand. It snowed for about 24 hours straight here yesterday, and everyone was talking like it was the end of the world. My brother is waiting to hear school is cancelled and people are bitching and moaning on the news about all the snow piling up. You live in fucking CHICAGO. Everyone is acting like it's Georgia or something where they cancel school for 1/2 inch of snow. You'd think people would be used to it by now, but I guess not. I just saw something online that made me think of you Jenn. It said "Learn the bad habits of your zodiac sign." Being a Taurus it said that I like to be surrounded by my possesions so my life is cluttered. I guess that's kind of true. I thought for sure it was going to say about Gemini's "You talk about being a Gemini way too fucking much. Stop blaming everything on your Gemini-ness." And guess what! I was right! I swear to god it said exactly that. I'm not giving you the link to check. You just have to believe me. Sorry, it must be the Taurus in me that's making me act like this. I love you lady. I'm still waiting for my cds, so I'm hoping I'll get them tomorrow, and I'll give you a ring so you can tell me what to listen to first. And Bill, it's 1:16 am and I just remembered that I might have missed the OC if it was on. I had work til 7:30 then went to Best Buy. I'm never going to catch up. I'm a lost cause. It seems like I never see much tv at home, but while I'm at school I watch 60 hours of tv a week. I only have about a week left here at home. It seemed like it was going to drag on, but now it seems like it's flown. I'm excited to go back to school, I miss Emily like a mofo. Last note: I went to the eye doctor on Tuesday, and yet again my eyes have gotten worse. I am now a minus 6, whatever that means. I don't know how it equals out on the 20/20 scale, but I'm pretty fucking blind now. My aunt is a minus 11, if that's even possible, somone told me she would be legally blind, but she might be if you saw the glasses she has to wear when she doesn't have contacts. She is a doctor though, so she can't be blind. If the trend I have continues (going down .25 everytime I go to the doctor), I'll be blind by the time I'm 40. Awesome. Blind as a bat, bitches.
Monday, January 03, 2005
We're Not Enemies, We Just Disagree
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy 40th Birthday Jenn! So it hasn't been that long since I've updated, but it feels like it. I was reading everyones "Reflections of 2004" and thought I should have some reflections, but I don't. Not a single one. 2004 was the year that I lived by myself for 4 months, got one year closer to being 21 and graduating college and did kickass in school for once. I don't think I bragged yet, but I got my grades for this semester about two weeks ago, and I got a 3.0 GPA for the first time since high school. So what if I got one D, it was better than the F I was expecting. I got two A's and two B's to even it out. Fuck yeah bitches. I really don't know how I pulled that off. But hey, I did it, so let's not concentrate on the "how". Now that it's 2005, it's so bizarre to be able to say "I turn 21 this year" or "I graduate college next year." It's freaking me out, man. You are freaking out, man. Rabbit could definitly smell the fear on me now. I don't really dwell too much on the past to think of any reflections to say about this year. Of course I say I'm going to lose weight this year, but same as every other year, I'll look back as 2006 approches and say, "Damn Katie, you just keep getting fatter. You go girl." I guess you could say it's tradition. And who wants to break tradition? Certainly not I. Ok, I'm all over the place here, so I'm going to move on. NP. I had a great, wonderful, drunken New Years Eve. I ended up going to U of I with Keri and her friends who I love and are so much fun to be around. We were supposed to go to this bar (you only have to be 19 to get in) but ended up at one of her friend's apartments where we just got a keg and proceeded to get drunk. There were these other sisters there and the four of us had a fun time together. I can't even explain what the fuck we were laughing about, but I don't think I had laughed that hard in awhile. You know the "ShutthefuckuporI'mgoingtopeeallovermyself" kind of laughing? It was that kind. Goodtimes, goodtimes indeed. Bill you know how I send you a text saying "Happy New Year Billdo"? It should have taken me 30 seconds to type put, but instead took me 10 minutes because I kept fucking up. That's the last time I try to send out a text when I'm that drunk. But anyways, this was the best New Years I had since senior year of high school. Freshman year of college I was as sick as a dog from December 30 - January 2nd so needless to say I didn't do much except set new sleeping records. Last year I went to NIU with 2 friends to another party, but it just wasn't that fun. This year definitly made up for the past two years. Thanks sister lady, you're magical. Even though everyone thought you were the older sister, shove it up your ass. When we're in our 40's, I'm going to want to look like the younger sister anyways. NP. I just woke up around 1:00 pm today, and turned on my cell phone about 30 minutes ago. I had a message from my boss on there saying that a co-worker couldn't show up, could I maybe come in until about 4:00 today? It's after 2:00 now and I haven't called back. I doubt they really need me still anyways. At least I hope not. I'm a terrible person. Since I don't feel like writing any comments right now, I'm just going to answer some things in here. Bill, when I got your text saying "Your mom goes to college" I had no idea what you were talking about. I showed Keri and she goes, "Dumbass, it's from Napoleon Dynamite." So THEN I got it. I'm a tad slow sometimes. But you know that. At first I thought you was dissing my mom and I was ready to beat some ass, but then I calmed down. And I'm glad you liked Garden State. I bought it on Tuesday and have watched it 3 times since then, I still love it. Jenn, I hope you listened to Mr Jeff already and fell in love. And sorry for waking you up at midnight on New Years, but it was New Years Eve goddamnit, no one should have been sleeping. At 3:00 am on New Years I went to IHOP with Keri and this french guy Auri, who is in Keri's friend's frat. She had always told me stories about him and he sounded hysterical so I was excited to meet him. He didn't know what to order, so he asked, "What are they famous for?" (say it in your best French accent). I was like, "Pancakes Auri, pancakes! We're at the International House of Pancakes!" "Ok, I will order panckaes then." The crazy French bastard had never had pancakes before. It sounds stupid, but that was one of the highlights of my New Years, watching Auri try panckaes for the first time and try all the different syrup on the table. And if you ever get a chance to meet a Frenchman, ask them to do an American accent for you. Maybe it was just Auri's that was so funny, but damnit, do it anyways. Ok, that story came out of nowhere, I'm bored down here in the basement, so I'm going to go harass my brother who just got home from school. He's back already and I still have two weeks. Good lord. Two weeks, bitches. And comments all around next time, I promise. I learned how to pronounce "Auld Lyne Syne" (did I even spell that right?) the other day, so this New Year definitley got off on the right foot. I always judge my new year on my pronunciation skills. Doesn't everyone? Eat a peach, bitches.
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