All Our Favorites Were Playing So We Could Shake Shake Shake Shake Shake

I'm only on page 98 of the Salman Rushdie book out of 450. This is not going as planned. It's not that it's THAT hard to read, it's just not THAT easy. At this rate I could be 35 by the time I finish it. But it will be worth it, right? It better be because I could have read three books in the amount of time I've already put into this one. Dang a rang.

I cannot stop eating today at work. I've had a bowlful of cantaloupe, a bag of Kellogg's Special K cereal, a turkey sandwich, a small bag of Doritos and animal crackers and just now I'm eating a Three Musketeers. And it's barely 6:oo. If I didn't know for sure I wasn't pregnant (praise the lord!) I'd be a little worried right now. I better get this out of my system now though - me and Keri are going on a super diet starting September 1st for the entire month. Will I actually be able to drag my fat ass onto the treadmill and stop drinking beer? Most likely not on the latter, but I better cause I will NOT lose this contest to Keri. I'm gonna be eating so many carrots my skins gonna turn orange.

Guess who finally got their very first car, at the ripe old age of 23? That would be me, bitches. It's a brand new 1995 Pontiac Bonneville with only 146,000 miles on it! With no cd player! And it kinda smells like a wet dog inside! The sellers, who I call Mom and Dad (no relation), drove a hard baragin, but I drove off in that sweet new ride, so really, who got the better deal here. Freedom. Finally.

My friend Catherine turned 21 last night, so me and my sister met up with our friends at the bar "for one beer", which of course turned into us not coming home until 4:00 am. While at the second bar of the night, and in the middle of me and my sister DOMINATING at bags (yes they have a set of bags in the bar, no I don't know why) I started talking to this guy who I had noticed looking at me once or twice. As soon as he starts talking, I realize he has a lisp. A fucking lisp. I realize this is not his fault, he was born with it or something, but really, a lisp? There's nothing more discerning (am I using that word right?) that hearing a guy say something to you for the first time in a lisp. I'm sure I'm coming off as judgemental, or bitchy, but you know you all think the same thing, just admit it. Lisps. I can't do it.

Thank god football season is starting soon because the White Sox are just depressing me. I went to a game last Friday and there was more Red Sox fans there than White Sox fans, it was pathetic. I mean, I still love them, but why are they making it so fucking hard right now. Rex Grossman, make sports exciting for me again. September 9th, hurry the fuck up.

No work tomorrow to go to Jazz Fest, so excited. Next Saturday, seeing the Frames again with Keri. Even more excited.

Thank God For Cellphones

I'm downstairs in the basement on the computer and Keri is upstairs in her room watching tv. She calls me from her room to let me know To Catch a Predator is on MSNBC right now. Sister, you are the best.

You! Me! Dancing!

The Peter Bjorn and John concert was most likely, one of the most magical moments of my life. Free tickets? Check. Not-too-crowded venue? Check. Awesome opening band? Check. PB&J playing every single one of my favorite songs? Check. Peter jumping into the crowd on the last song, my FAVORITE song, and playing the guitar surrounded by people about five feet from me? Check. Me getting backstage and having a threesome with Bjorn and John? Maybe next time. And there will be a next time - they're coming back September 25th and come hell or high water, I will be there. Aw hell yeah.

I chopped off my hair. Like really really chopped it off. As in 13 inches, which I donated to Locks of Love because I'm such a wonderful person and all that jazz. I wash it, I let it air dry, and I am good to go - pretty much the best haircut ever. I've gotten a lot of compliments on it (I know, I can't believe how humble I am either), but most importantly, I love it. Whenever I get it cut, the lady will ask if I part my hair, and I say, yes, I part it on the left, my left. It never fails that they part it for me, about a centimeter from the middle of my head and it looks awful. I was panicing for a couple of minutes looking at my newly shorn hair all wet and parted basically in the middle because it looked terrible, but as soon as I put my part in the right place I stopped hyperventilating because I looked smashing. Ok, Ok I'll get over myself, but really, I love it. Love it love it love it.

The nail on my ring finger must have gotten snagged on something and since I can't seem to stop picking at it for the life of me, I will soon have a very short nail on that finger, a very tragic thought for me. I realized I am seriously one of those Oh-My-God-I-Broke-A-Nail-Type Girls, and I am totally okay with it. Bring me the clear nail polish PRONTO.

I finally sucked it up last week and paid my library fine - a whopping $17.60. I had been on eBay scouring for books to buy when I realized I needed to stop being a dumbass and BUYING books when I could just pay my fine and then get books for FREE. Sometimes you have to spell it out for me. I've been on a reading binge this past week, reading The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon and Lucky by Alice Sebold. Chabon's book was pretty good because I fell in love with the cranky balding Jewish policeman character and the concept was different - Israel had only existed for three months before they lost a war to the Palestinians so the US government let all the Jews come to Alaska for 60 years until the "Reversion" was to go into effect and the land would return Alaska and the Jews wouldn't be able to live there anymore. And it was kinda a murder mystery. But not even really cause I don't get into mysteries really. Really. Lucky was okay. I like her fiction better, The Lovely Bones, actually one of my favorite books ever. Lastly I'm finally reading some Salman Rushdie, Midnight's Children, which I should be doing right now but instead I'm typing out a stupid post. And going on way too long about this subject. Moving on.

Since I've been working five days a week here I've been getting off every Saturday, something that enormously excites me. Last weekend I had Friday off too because my friends and I were supposed to go camping, and as it happens with every other plans we make, of course it never happened. Instead I spent about 95% of the weekend in Diana's pool, having a grand ol' time. It was probably one of the funnest weekends, and all we did was drink and swim. I don't want summer to ever ever end. Maybe I COULD live in weather like this year round. Must. Stop. Crazy. Talk.

I want to see Superbad super bad. Oh man, the creatives juices are flowin now!

The short, Mexican mailman who drops off the mail at work has a crush on me. Every Saturday he would bring in pizza for lunch and I would let him listen to the Cubs game, if the Sox game wasn't already on. I haven't seen him lately because I haven't been working Saturdays, but he came in today instead with lunch. Everytime he asks me if I believe in God, and I never really have an answer cause I don't know what my opinions are when it comes to religion anymore, but if I have to become a Bible-thumper for free pizza, I'll do it.

This lady who has a mailbox here at the store came in a few minutes ago and said "Hi Katie Bear!" Now I love this lady, she's really nice and we always talk for a few minutes, but hold the phone, did you really just call me "Katie Bear"? Why do I always have animal nicknames, with K-dawg in college and now this? I get it - clearly I do not look human, but must you lay it on so thick?

North American Scum

Lollapaloza is this weekend and again, because I'm an idiot, didn't get tickets. I was trying to talk my brother into trying to sneak in with me Saturday but he's being a douche and won't go with me. (The Cold War Kids Jay, THE COLD WAR KIDS!) but today I got a phone call that made it all better. I didn't recognize the number and being a pussy, I didn't pick it up but they left a message. It was my favorite radio station XRT calling to tell me I WON TICKETS TO SEE PETER, BJORN AND JOHN AT A LOLLAPALOZA AFTERSHOW ON SUNDAY. Aw hell yeah bitches! This is a band I've been dying to see for awhile and now I get to see them FOR FREE. There was no way to even buy tickets, you had to win them through the radio staion, a fact that makes it even cooler. This is so much better than the Chris Cornell concert I won but couldn't go to. I AM SO EXCITED.

I went on a date last night with this guy I've known since I was 17, Jim. It was weird in the fact that normally we're always drunk when we hang out and I've known him for so long but the fact that I've known him for so long also made it better than a normal first date. Make sense? Thought so. He's a giant asshole but he's nice to me, and plus who doesn't want to be taken out to dinner? I really doubt this is going to go anywhere, but it would be nice if it did. Plus maybe it would get Will to stop basically declaring his love for me (we went out for TWO MONTHS, PLEASE SHUT UP), and that would be a very nice thing.

So I kind of had a mental breakdown at work Tuesday. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me, it's not even like customers were being assholes, but I just got so overwhelmed and was on the verge of tears for an hour until I actually DID cry. Not sobbing hysterically by any means, but even our UPS driver told me to go have a cigarette because he could tell I was so upset. I know (almost) everyone hates their job and complains, so I try not too that much, but damn. I just hate this place so much. I know I need to get a new job, I'M TRYING but the trying ain't going nowhere. Katie, a year after graduation: still at the fucking UPS Store.

New musical obsessions: Elvis Perkins and LCD Soundsystem. Check out Elvis if you want to cry and LCD if you want to dance. I remix them cause I like to cry while I dance.

I finished Harry Potter On Monday night, or more like Tuesday morning since it was 3:00 am. That is turtle speed compared to my sister who was done by 10:30 pm Saturday (the day after we bought it) and my brother who started reading around 3:00 pm Monday and had only 100 pages left when I went to bed at 3:00 am. I'm not going to spoil anything but still, maybe you shouldn't read the rest of the paragraph if you don't want to know anything. All I can say is I was disappointed. It could have been an awesome ending but instead it was very non-awesome. I expected better out of you J.K. Much better. Still though, a good book. Just not the ending I wanted or expected. Wah wah, why doesn't the world cater to me.

Totally thought I was getting paid today. Totally did not.