Countdown: Nine Days

1. I got my dress back Wednesday, and Diana's grandma did an awesome job on it. It's still a tad, tad big, but at least it doesn't look like I'm wearing a skirt with a giant oversize t-shirt on anymore, according to Diana. While I was at her grandma's I said, "Awesome. Now all I need is shoes and I'm set." She asked what size I wore, and then said she had a pair she was about to give to Goodwill, so I should try those. I was terrified (seems like an exaggeration, but who wouldn't be expecting something hideous, and since I can never tell the truth I would have been like "Oh my god! These are great! I love them, they're perfect!" even if they were a bright orange color), but she pulled them out and they were Pointy. Black. Just the right size heel. I was amazed. So yeah, I got my shoes from a 76 year old lady, but they're (seriously) perfect and I ain't got no money for shoes anyways. I also borrowed a purse from her. Diana's Grandma's: One Stop Shopping For All Your Wedding Attire Needs.

2. Why do we have no goddamn decaf tea in our house. Because it's freezing balls I had to have a cup while down here in the dungeon, and now I'm going to be up all night when I have to be up at 9:00 am. Yes I could just go to Jewel and buy some, but then I wouldn't get to ask my mom constantly why she doesn't buy any more, and she wouldn't get the chance to say "I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BUY THE FOOD AROUND HERE." Yes you are mom, yes you are.

3. This article made me laugh really hard, especially the "What is going on with today's white nationalists?" Really guys, you gotta step it up a little bit. The guy say he's ashamed to be a neo-Nazi, and if that doesn't ring a bell with you, I don't know what will.

4. The other day, Larry, this guy who comes into the store pretty much everyday because his company has packages delivered there told me I "looked like a million bucks." It was a gross exaggeration, but made me realize how disgusting I must look every other day that I show up after having just rolled out of bed 20 minutes prior. It's amazing the difference a shower before work makes. I think it's finally starting to resonate with me.*

5. My boss owns two UPS Stores; his other one is about an hour away and he has me work there once in a great while. I fucking hate going out there - usually I leave 10 minutes before I have to be at work, and now I have to leave 60. Oh oh, but he gives me an hour of travel time! Too bad it takes two hours, going there and back, asshole. The only part I get excited about is that it's in a posh (are only English people allowed to use that word?) downtown neighborhood up north and there's an Old Navy and Borders right down the block. IMAGINE THAT. Like I don't have an Old Navy or Borders 10 minutes from my house. But whatever gets my rocks off, right? Apparently it only takes an Old Navy within walking distance of my work. Easy to please, yo.

6. I heard Joe Jackson's Steppin' Out song on the radio last week; I almost hate hearing new songs that I love now because I have no means of downloading them at all (not that it's a new song - it came out in '82). It's an awesome song though, and if you can download it, I hate you.

7. I told my date for the wedding, Tommy, that I was excited that he's tall (6'4) because I could wear heels then and not worry about looking like a giant. His reply was "Can you dance in heels?" in a real you-better-say-yes-or-I'm-gonna-be-really-pissed-off voice. I told him no worries, that my shoes would be off probably within five minutes of being there anyways. Anything to not make my 19 year old date mad at me. My dad told me Tuesday that I was robbing the cradle by taking him. Shut up dad I REALIZED THAT ALREADY.

8. nephelai0820: kris just broke my door. i locked it and she busted through
yaya5120: good lord
nephelai0820: and the knob is broke, woo hoo!
yaya5120: good thing you weren't beating off
yaya5120: OR WERE YOU
nephelai0820: haha, i was just going to say how am i going to keep them off when i play with my willy?
nephelai0820: *out
yaya5120: keeping them off your willy could pose a problem also
nephelai0820: you are wise
yaya5120: why do you think I'm the older sister
nephelai0820: lezzz-be friends

I don't talk to my sister nearly enough on AIM anymore. Oh the good conversations I'm missing out on. Quit playing with yer dinghy Ker.

9. I'm finally reading Truman Capote's In Cold Blood, I mean I only bought it three months ago, what's the rush. After this book, I'm taking some of your suggestions, plus The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen and We Need to Talk About Kevin, by Lionel Shriver. I already read The Secret Life of Bees Bill, but thanks anyway. The books you guys suggested better be good or I am going to beat some ass.

10. Do you know what COLTS stands for?
Count On Losing The Superbowl - HEY-O

*Not that I never shower, I DO. Just never before work - I'd rather get 30 more minutes of sleep. I'm glad I cleared that up because I'm sure you were all under the impression that I had never taken a shower before in my life.