Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Simply Having
On Christmas Eve, my mom said to me, "You seem like such a happy person." She caught me off guard because I was so engrossed in a Real World/Road Rules Challenge repeat. You know how those things can be so addicting. And if you don't, shut up about it. I never think of myself as a happy-go-lucky person, so I didn't really know what to say, so she asked, "If you could change anything what would it be?" "I'd lose 50 pounds." "Is that it?" "I'd love to know I had a good job after graduation." "Well those are both things you can change yourself." Goddamnit, I hate when my mom is right. This isn't the first time I've realized it, but I have a super-duper-uber good life. My brother and sister are the best ever and you all should be jealous you aren't related to them. My mom and I have such a good relationship now, after hating each other for five years when I was 13-18. (She told me the same day, "I thought something was wrong with you, you were so angry all the time. My response, "Christ mom, I was a teenager.") My dad and I get along, not that we're super close at all. But thank god for sports and making fun of my siblings, or else we'd have nothing to talk about. I'm about to graduate college on time, I have good friends and I love my family. I guess I am happy. Ever since my mom said that, whenever she yells at me for being crabby, I remind her of how happy I am. I only get a "shut up" then. Love you too mom. I'm happy, hope you're happy too.
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Countdown
15 days until my sister comes home. 15 days too long. Who's room am I going to go into first on Christmas? More importantly, who am I going to have a sleepover with on Christmas Eve? I just got way too emtional about you not being here for all this. I miss you like the devil and can't wait until you come home. January 7th should be a national holiday.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Speaking Of Coolers
The UPS Store I work at changed locations a few weeks ago, but we're only six blocks away from our previous store. Everybody hates "the new location" because the parking sucks, the sidewalk is icey, it's not on a corner like before. Me, I hate it because there isn't a tobacco store next door with free lighters galore and a pop machine in it. But the next person who comes in and says, "Why did you move? Your other location is much better", I'm going to slice in half. With a knife. In front of eveyone. And it will serve as a warning to others. Not to ask that fucking question anymore. Maybe I have a crush on the new guy who works with me, Nick. And maybe Nick's a senior in high school. Is that wrong? My mom says only if I act on it. Which I don't plan on doing. At least I don't think so. Speaking of my mom, she and I were making Christmas cookies the other day and while she's usually the one who does it, and I whine if she asks me to start the oven, it was me forcing my mom to help me make them this year. I think the mother-daughter-bonding that was going on was overwhelming her and she said, "When you get older and move out on your own, we should get together to make cookies." I don't know Mom, maybe we'll keep in touch throughout the years. I'll at least give you a call over the holidays. No promises though. I went out last night to bar with my best friend Megan and had a good time. I wasted most of my lifesaving (which is around $33) on the music trivia game thingy they have at one of the tables. I'm a fanatic for trivia, especially music trivia, so when I start playing, I can't stop. I snuck Keri into that bar a shitload of times over the summer, and one time we got the highest score for the game. I found out last week "KateKeri" is still number one. That means no ones been able to beat our score since July. Finding that out totally made my day, which is probably a little bit pathetic. You know what's even more pathetic though? Pussies who can't beat our score. No, I will not cry the day we become number 2, why would you ask that. Speaking of Keri, she's in either Amsterdam, Brussels (my mom told me she was going to "Brussls, Amsterdam." For 52 years she's thought Amsterdam was a country. Why am I surrounded by geography-deficent people?) or Hamburg, Germany right now. Last weekend she was in Paris. God I hate her. She was supposed to go to Barcelona the first weekend in December but overslept, got there 15 minutes late and wasn't allowed on the flight. Sister you make me proud in so many ways. Christmas is in 4 days. Christ. I have yet to start shopping. I'm going to Best Buy in a little bit and I'll probably end up getting a cd for myself. Who says I'm not full of the fucking holiday spirit. Alright, this is boring, and I hate how it looks like no breaks between the different things I talked (typed) about. Plus my throat kills. I wonder if it's because I smoked a pack of cigarettes last night. God is that disgusting. Last thought: Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees? What the fuck. That made me unnessecarily angry when I saw it on ESPN at the bar last night. Also, they shouldn't have tvs in bars because my friends get mad at me when I get sucked into whatever game is on at the moment. I don't get why, it's not like I want to talk to them anyways. Merry Christmas, bitches.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
A Year Later, Nothing's Changed
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS GODDAMN ENTER KEY NOT WORKING. I can't work under conditions like this.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I'm Not Like That
Tonight is my last night at school until the middle of January. I still can't believe how long our winter breaks are. I was done Wednesday the 7th and won't start up again until January 18th. Christ, I remember in grammar school and high school we got about 2 weeks off, now its almost six. Not that I mind. Although this is my last winter break. I'm going to cry.
I was talking to my mom the other day and told her I got a B on the big research paper I wrote. She asked, "Is that good, or did you want to do better?" Who does she think she's talking to? Of course I was satisfied with a B. When have I ever not been? I am the farthest thing from an overachiever that you can possibley be. I've never gotten upset over a grade, or been mad I didn't do better. Maybe I have my parents to thank for that, they never put a big emphasis on grades or pressured us to get A's. As long as we were doing fine, that was cool with them. So why my mom deciedes to now ask me if I'm happy with a B, I'll never know. I mean I've called her excited over a C before. I knew she never listened to me when I spoke.
Last night Emily and I went out to the bar, and got trashed even though I had "work" (which meant reading 3 newspapers, 4 magazines and pitying myself for feeling so shitty) at 9 am. Of course, of course I don't go out Thursday (thanks a lot for getting in a car accident and ruining my night Emily, you inconsiderate bitch. Love you!) when I wouldn't have work until 1 pm Friday, I go out Friday night when I have work at 9 am Saturday. Smart decisions have never been my forte. Anyways, I was wearing heels (ok, so they're barely an inch, but I'm a giant already, so I don't need any help in the height department) and had flashbacks of the night last year when I lost my shoes in the snow. (It's the 2nd paragraph. Not that anyone's going to click on it, I'm still just proud of myself for knowing how to do those links.) It still boggles me to this day that I never thought of carrying my shoes in my hands instead of just leaving them in the snow. I honestly thought of that about 2 months later and was like "Oh. Maybe I should have done that."
Last night during halftime at the Bulls game they retired Scottie Pippen's number. A bunch of other old Bulls players were there, and because I'm a giantass pussy, it made me cry remembering how good the Bulls used to be. I was a fucking Bulls FANATIC when I was younger. I knew stats, watched every game, had my awesome Bulls starter jacket, subscribed to Sports Illustrated for Kids, sent Michael Jordan a card when his dad died (I got a letter back, of course just the one they must have sent everyone, but that letter was one of my prized possesions for years. I still have it) and even wanted to paint my room to look like the inside of Chicago Stadium for a time. Thanks for not letting me do that Mom. I watched Johnny Kerr announce the starting lineup I felt like shit for not knowing anyone's name. I didn't even know the coaches name. I'm totally reading too much into this, but I guess seeing Scottie Pippen, MJ, Phil Jackson and even Horace Grant made me nostalgic for my childhood. Or for a good Bulls team. Jay Mariotti summed it up (does anyone watch Around the Horn?) when he said,
"Pippen and his partners in NBA championship crime -- Jordan with a slight belly, Jackson still coaching the Lakers for reasons I don't understand, a bandana-wrapped Dennis Rodman ready for a night in the clubs, Horace Grant without the goggles, Toni Kukoc and so many more -- were a sight for nostalgic eyes as No. 33 was lowered into the United Center rafters."
Ok, maybe not summed it up, but agreed with me on the nostalgic factor. Same thing.
Last two sport things: the Sox signed Paulie Konerko for 5 more years, praise the lord. It sucks we had to trade Aaron Rowand for Jim Thome though. We still have our pitching inact though. Repeat 2006? Fuck yeah bitch.
Rex Grossman might quarterback for Orton this Sunday against the Steelers. And thank god for that. I don't want to have to look at Orton's ugly ass beard anymore. There should be a "No touching" rule for Rex though; if one guy hits him he'll be gone for the rest of the season. Again.
Sorry, I should have made my last post for awhile more exciting, but what are you gonna do. I'll post over break, but not very often; the basement is too goddamn cold. Goodbye bed that's long enough for me, being able to walk around sans socks, having a non-busy job, fast internet connection, awesome Dylan posters, good music on my computer and favoritest roommate. Hello Brother Bear, other bestest friend, chores, parent's liquor cabinet, being able to drive and being broke because I owe my mom 3 billion dollars. Yay.
I was talking to my mom the other day and told her I got a B on the big research paper I wrote. She asked, "Is that good, or did you want to do better?" Who does she think she's talking to? Of course I was satisfied with a B. When have I ever not been? I am the farthest thing from an overachiever that you can possibley be. I've never gotten upset over a grade, or been mad I didn't do better. Maybe I have my parents to thank for that, they never put a big emphasis on grades or pressured us to get A's. As long as we were doing fine, that was cool with them. So why my mom deciedes to now ask me if I'm happy with a B, I'll never know. I mean I've called her excited over a C before. I knew she never listened to me when I spoke.
Last night Emily and I went out to the bar, and got trashed even though I had "work" (which meant reading 3 newspapers, 4 magazines and pitying myself for feeling so shitty) at 9 am. Of course, of course I don't go out Thursday (thanks a lot for getting in a car accident and ruining my night Emily, you inconsiderate bitch. Love you!) when I wouldn't have work until 1 pm Friday, I go out Friday night when I have work at 9 am Saturday. Smart decisions have never been my forte. Anyways, I was wearing heels (ok, so they're barely an inch, but I'm a giant already, so I don't need any help in the height department) and had flashbacks of the night last year when I lost my shoes in the snow. (It's the 2nd paragraph. Not that anyone's going to click on it, I'm still just proud of myself for knowing how to do those links.) It still boggles me to this day that I never thought of carrying my shoes in my hands instead of just leaving them in the snow. I honestly thought of that about 2 months later and was like "Oh. Maybe I should have done that."
Last night during halftime at the Bulls game they retired Scottie Pippen's number. A bunch of other old Bulls players were there, and because I'm a giantass pussy, it made me cry remembering how good the Bulls used to be. I was a fucking Bulls FANATIC when I was younger. I knew stats, watched every game, had my awesome Bulls starter jacket, subscribed to Sports Illustrated for Kids, sent Michael Jordan a card when his dad died (I got a letter back, of course just the one they must have sent everyone, but that letter was one of my prized possesions for years. I still have it) and even wanted to paint my room to look like the inside of Chicago Stadium for a time. Thanks for not letting me do that Mom. I watched Johnny Kerr announce the starting lineup I felt like shit for not knowing anyone's name. I didn't even know the coaches name. I'm totally reading too much into this, but I guess seeing Scottie Pippen, MJ, Phil Jackson and even Horace Grant made me nostalgic for my childhood. Or for a good Bulls team. Jay Mariotti summed it up (does anyone watch Around the Horn?) when he said,
"Pippen and his partners in NBA championship crime -- Jordan with a slight belly, Jackson still coaching the Lakers for reasons I don't understand, a bandana-wrapped Dennis Rodman ready for a night in the clubs, Horace Grant without the goggles, Toni Kukoc and so many more -- were a sight for nostalgic eyes as No. 33 was lowered into the United Center rafters."
Ok, maybe not summed it up, but agreed with me on the nostalgic factor. Same thing.
Last two sport things: the Sox signed Paulie Konerko for 5 more years, praise the lord. It sucks we had to trade Aaron Rowand for Jim Thome though. We still have our pitching inact though. Repeat 2006? Fuck yeah bitch.
Rex Grossman might quarterback for Orton this Sunday against the Steelers. And thank god for that. I don't want to have to look at Orton's ugly ass beard anymore. There should be a "No touching" rule for Rex though; if one guy hits him he'll be gone for the rest of the season. Again.
Sorry, I should have made my last post for awhile more exciting, but what are you gonna do. I'll post over break, but not very often; the basement is too goddamn cold. Goodbye bed that's long enough for me, being able to walk around sans socks, having a non-busy job, fast internet connection, awesome Dylan posters, good music on my computer and favoritest roommate. Hello Brother Bear, other bestest friend, chores, parent's liquor cabinet, being able to drive and being broke because I owe my mom 3 billion dollars. Yay.
I'm Dying
Is it necessary for a library to be open at 9 am on a Saturday? Somebody shoot me in the face.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Blue Rondo A La Turk
I have one more paper to write tomorrow, due by 3:00 and then the semester is over. OVER. I didn't realize it til tonight, just because I didn't have any huge tests to study for, but the end is here, and that means I have to go home for a month. Go home to slave away at the UPS Store and deal with stupidass people who are surprised that overnighting something to get there on a Saturday is a lot of money. Do YOU want to work on a Saturday? Didn't think so; that's why it's expensive, assrammer.
I go home Sunday, and I plan on getting drunk every single night until then. How I will do that with no money is yet to be determined, but when I put my mind to something, it usually gets accomplished. Well at least 10% of the time. I bought a 24 case of 16 oz bottles of MGD Saturday because it was only $13.99 and I left the rest of them at my friend Nick's place. If they drank them, I'll kill them, don't doubt me. It was a sweetass price, but they were plastic bottles, not glass, the kind you get at a sport game, or at a concert. I was reassured by my friend Mike though when I said "I feel queer drinking out of a plastic bottle" and he replied "that's because you do look queer." Mike, telling it like it is.
It's been ungodly cold here the past week. I can deal with 30 degrees, or 20, even though it still sucks ass. But the HIGH for the past two days has been 14 degrees. And that's not counting the wind chill. At night it's been around 4 degrees. I said something to my Dad about how cold it was and he goes "If you think this is cold, what are you going to do when it's winter out?" Sorry Dad, are you used to 4 degrees? We don't live in fucking Alaska. It could be the first day of winter and he would still say the same thing, or -9 and he'd say it too. I realize I'm from the Midwest and we have four seasons, including a coldass winter, but it's never this cold this soon. Cold weather means people are wearing leather gloves, and leather gloves creep me out for some reason. So do leather coats. Christ I hate leather coats. Long ones, short ones, guys wearing them or girls, I hate them all. Not because I think it's wrong to wear leather, don't get me wrong, I hate animals; it's just because they're ugly. And they make you look like a killer. What the hell am I talking about.
My parents went to Vegas last week, and now I feel like I've been there too with how long my mom went on about it. If you want to know anything about the Celine Dion show or what the Mirage looked like, just ask me. I really could have put the phone down for 10 minutes and she wouldn't have known the difference. But anyways, my mom liked it so much that her and my dad are going to renew their vows there for their 25th anniversary in November of 2007. Well we won't go until January of 2008 when my brother turns 21, but whats 2 months when they're waited 25 years. I asked if they were going to pay for me and she was like "well, some things, you WILL be 23 after all." Then I was all, "Mom, how much do you think I'll be able to afford working at McDonalds?" Then Mom was all, "KATHRYN, YOU WILL NOT WORK AT MCDONALDS." Oh yeah mom? What else do people with history degrees do? You got any ideas? Me either.
My schedule for next semester sucks ass because I'm taking seven classes. I start at 11:00 am Monday, Wednesday and FRIDAY. I haven't had a class before 12:30 or on a Friday since my very first semster here, oh so long ago. I could have taken a Monday-Wednesday class from 3:30-4:45 and not had class until noon, but I wanted to be home in time for Jeopardy and the girlmore girls every day. I base my schedule around tv shows. Cool. This semester I probably went to about 45% of my classes, which really isn't bad considering there was two weeks when I only went to three classes altogether. I'd like to say I didn't fail any, but we'll see about that next Wednesday. Please let me at least get D's. As long as I get my credit hours I'm happy.
Sure, it's 2:30 am and about 2 degrees outside, I totally understand why you need to sit outside in your car with the doors open and listen to your music! Really! I do! Totally!
I go home Sunday, and I plan on getting drunk every single night until then. How I will do that with no money is yet to be determined, but when I put my mind to something, it usually gets accomplished. Well at least 10% of the time. I bought a 24 case of 16 oz bottles of MGD Saturday because it was only $13.99 and I left the rest of them at my friend Nick's place. If they drank them, I'll kill them, don't doubt me. It was a sweetass price, but they were plastic bottles, not glass, the kind you get at a sport game, or at a concert. I was reassured by my friend Mike though when I said "I feel queer drinking out of a plastic bottle" and he replied "that's because you do look queer." Mike, telling it like it is.
It's been ungodly cold here the past week. I can deal with 30 degrees, or 20, even though it still sucks ass. But the HIGH for the past two days has been 14 degrees. And that's not counting the wind chill. At night it's been around 4 degrees. I said something to my Dad about how cold it was and he goes "If you think this is cold, what are you going to do when it's winter out?" Sorry Dad, are you used to 4 degrees? We don't live in fucking Alaska. It could be the first day of winter and he would still say the same thing, or -9 and he'd say it too. I realize I'm from the Midwest and we have four seasons, including a coldass winter, but it's never this cold this soon. Cold weather means people are wearing leather gloves, and leather gloves creep me out for some reason. So do leather coats. Christ I hate leather coats. Long ones, short ones, guys wearing them or girls, I hate them all. Not because I think it's wrong to wear leather, don't get me wrong, I hate animals; it's just because they're ugly. And they make you look like a killer. What the hell am I talking about.
My parents went to Vegas last week, and now I feel like I've been there too with how long my mom went on about it. If you want to know anything about the Celine Dion show or what the Mirage looked like, just ask me. I really could have put the phone down for 10 minutes and she wouldn't have known the difference. But anyways, my mom liked it so much that her and my dad are going to renew their vows there for their 25th anniversary in November of 2007. Well we won't go until January of 2008 when my brother turns 21, but whats 2 months when they're waited 25 years. I asked if they were going to pay for me and she was like "well, some things, you WILL be 23 after all." Then I was all, "Mom, how much do you think I'll be able to afford working at McDonalds?" Then Mom was all, "KATHRYN, YOU WILL NOT WORK AT MCDONALDS." Oh yeah mom? What else do people with history degrees do? You got any ideas? Me either.
My schedule for next semester sucks ass because I'm taking seven classes. I start at 11:00 am Monday, Wednesday and FRIDAY. I haven't had a class before 12:30 or on a Friday since my very first semster here, oh so long ago. I could have taken a Monday-Wednesday class from 3:30-4:45 and not had class until noon, but I wanted to be home in time for Jeopardy and the girlmore girls every day. I base my schedule around tv shows. Cool. This semester I probably went to about 45% of my classes, which really isn't bad considering there was two weeks when I only went to three classes altogether. I'd like to say I didn't fail any, but we'll see about that next Wednesday. Please let me at least get D's. As long as I get my credit hours I'm happy.
Sure, it's 2:30 am and about 2 degrees outside, I totally understand why you need to sit outside in your car with the doors open and listen to your music! Really! I do! Totally!
Monday, December 05, 2005
Snippets
The Support, I Can't Handle It
Jenn: your last post is GREAT
me: great jenn? GREAT?
me: my life is going to amount to nothing and you're calling it great
Jenn: well, the sarcasm was great
Jenn: sorry!
-----------------------------------------------
Everyone's A Comedian
friend in class, Mike: why are you so dressed up today?
me: dressed up? I'm wearing jeans
Mike: I know, what's the occasion
------------------------------------------------
I'm Not Trying To Impress You Anyways
Mike: I can't believe the shit people wear to class. christ, look at you.
me: what? (wearing gray sweatpants I cut to about my shins, a hoodie and flip-flops)
------------------------------------------------
Nothing Gets Past Him
co-worker: did you do something different with your hair?
me: I took a shower
co-worker: ahh, that must be it
Jenn: your last post is GREAT
me: great jenn? GREAT?
me: my life is going to amount to nothing and you're calling it great
Jenn: well, the sarcasm was great
Jenn: sorry!
-----------------------------------------------
Everyone's A Comedian
friend in class, Mike: why are you so dressed up today?
me: dressed up? I'm wearing jeans
Mike: I know, what's the occasion
------------------------------------------------
I'm Not Trying To Impress You Anyways
Mike: I can't believe the shit people wear to class. christ, look at you.
me: what? (wearing gray sweatpants I cut to about my shins, a hoodie and flip-flops)
------------------------------------------------
Nothing Gets Past Him
co-worker: did you do something different with your hair?
me: I took a shower
co-worker: ahh, that must be it
What I Learned On The News Tonight
The "special segment" was about The Entitlement Generation, which is apparently what kids who have recently graduated college or will soon are now called. Supposedly we're a whiney bunch of pansies who think we are entitled to a good job without actually doing any work to prove ourselves. We don't have to work hard to get a job, it'll just magically happen on it's own! We're not professional enough, are too immature and aren't ready for the horrors of the real world, so no one likes to hire us.
I graduate in May.
Awesome.
I graduate in May.
Awesome.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Irelaaaaaaaaaaand
Three Non-Irish Things First:
1. I saw Walk the Line the Friday before I left, and it was not nearly as good as I expected it to be. Not that it was bad by any means, I guess I was just expecting more. It was pretty much worth the price just to be able to look at Joaquin Phoenix for about two hours though. I know this will make me sound like an old lady, but why do movies have to be so goddamn expensive? It was fucking $9.50 to see it. I remember the good ol' days when it was only $7.25. Seems like so long ago.
2. Jenn, you are a bitch of the highest order for putting that audio message thingy on your blog. Yeah yeah, I knew you were doing it, but christ. I swear to god I don't always sound like that. I hate hearing my own voice, on the phone, on home videos, anything, so hearing it on a blog wasn't especailly thrilling for me. Maybe I do always sound like that, but Irefuse to believe it. I wish I had one of those throaty sex machine voices, but I do not. I instead sound like a giant ass douche bag. Awesome.
3. Fuck yeah Chicago Bears, SEVEN GAMES IN A ROW. Longest win streak since 1986. I'm thinking Bears vs. Colts in the Superbowl when we'll finally make them lose their first game. Bring it on Peyton. I have work from 1-6pm Sunday, which blows because I'll miss the Packers game. HMT - I expect a full report.
So anyways.
I went to Ireland, the homeland of my ancestors and the home of my sister for four months. It was so fucking awesome. I didn't even freak out on the plane ride, and as a reward for that, the airplane gave me pink eye in my left eye! Thank you previous passenger of seat 41A! You made my first 4 days in Ireland a joy, and for that I will always remember you. It took me Amy and Eileen about 3 days to realize we were actually in Ireland, it just felt like we were visiting Keri at school and everyone around us just had really awesome accents. I think going to the Blarney Stone finally made us realize where we actually were. And yes, I did kiss it the Blarney Stone. I don't care if Irish men have pissed on it, I wasn't going to be a pussy about it, like some people coughkericough. We didn't do any other sightseeing beyond that, for a number of reasons. I was out of money, this trip was just about spending time with Keri, I knew I 'd be back someday anyways, I'm lazy, take your pick. I was out of money on TUESDAY. I got there on SUNDAY. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me. Thank god for cash advances on mom's credit card. I don't even want to think about how much I owe her now. The trip just further proved my point about why I would never trust myself with a credit card unless I have $100 million dollars in the bank. Who needs MONEY when you have PLASTIC? And plastic is so much better! You don't pay now, you pay later! It's magical!
The University of Limerick has a pub on their campus which starts serving beer at noon. If we had that here at NIU I'm pretty sure I would never go to class. Seriously, how fucking awesome is that? We went there every night to drink and twice there somebody mistook me for Keri. The first time me and Amy were out for a smoke, when Keri's flamingly homosexual friend Padrig (sp?) yells "Keri Keri!" and when I tell him I'm Katie, I get a kiss on the hand. Yay for Irish homos. The second time Keri and I are in line for the bathroom, and this girl passes right by Keri and says to me "Hi Keri!". Once both of them realized I wasn't Keri they said "Oh, now I can tell. I was wondering why she looked so much prettier than normal." I swear.
We made a huge Thanksgiving dinner over there, and I'm still surprised none of us got sick, with the jizzy turkey leaking his jizz everywhere as he jizzily defrosted. I swear Keri's lounge is infected with salomela or something. Everything was hectic leading up to dinner, but everything came together perfectly in the end and I think I can honestly say it was one of the best Thanksgivings ever. Yeah, we did eat mashed potatoes out of a box in Ireland of all places, but shove it up your ass, THEY WERE GOOD. We played a football game earlier in the day, and even though I didn't catch the ball one fucking time, my body hurt like I had been tackled by Brian Urlacher or something. And we only played touch football at that. I think I have to start facing the fact that my body is falling apart in my old age. Or maybe I could just start working out so that I wouldn't be sore from running around for a little bit. I'll probably just stick with the former.
Two weird things about Ireland: If you want to go to the bathrooms in a mall-type-place, you have to pay. It's only 20 cents, but still, what the fuck is that all about. And secondly, if I wanted a packet of ketchup to go with my fries, it was 15 cents per packet. Christ, those Irish bastards are just trying to squeeze money out of me any way they can. But there was no tax on anything, so that kinda made up for it. I guess.
All together it was a wonderful vacation and I loved every single minute of it. Keri's roommates and friends were the nicest people in the entire world and I had a good time with all of them. Keri, you were a marvelous host, even if you didn't feed us at all. I mean I know I need to lose weight, but you didn't have to be so blunt about it. I know you're going to be sad to come home, but I'm looking forward to it like a banshee. How am I going to survive with only J.P at Christmas? Who will I drink mom and dad's liquor with? WHO KERI, WHO? Bet you didn't think of that before you signed your soul over to Ireland for semester. Thank you for allowing us to trash your room for a week straight, for laughing at me when I said "I have 10 dollars in euro" and trying your best to explain to us how to get to the Blarney Castle. Sorry I said the word "bus" 8000 times in one conversation. I WAS CONFUSED. I love you, and see you in about a month, rounding up.
1. I saw Walk the Line the Friday before I left, and it was not nearly as good as I expected it to be. Not that it was bad by any means, I guess I was just expecting more. It was pretty much worth the price just to be able to look at Joaquin Phoenix for about two hours though. I know this will make me sound like an old lady, but why do movies have to be so goddamn expensive? It was fucking $9.50 to see it. I remember the good ol' days when it was only $7.25. Seems like so long ago.
2. Jenn, you are a bitch of the highest order for putting that audio message thingy on your blog. Yeah yeah, I knew you were doing it, but christ. I swear to god I don't always sound like that. I hate hearing my own voice, on the phone, on home videos, anything, so hearing it on a blog wasn't especailly thrilling for me. Maybe I do always sound like that, but Irefuse to believe it. I wish I had one of those throaty sex machine voices, but I do not. I instead sound like a giant ass douche bag. Awesome.
3. Fuck yeah Chicago Bears, SEVEN GAMES IN A ROW. Longest win streak since 1986. I'm thinking Bears vs. Colts in the Superbowl when we'll finally make them lose their first game. Bring it on Peyton. I have work from 1-6pm Sunday, which blows because I'll miss the Packers game. HMT - I expect a full report.
So anyways.
I went to Ireland, the homeland of my ancestors and the home of my sister for four months. It was so fucking awesome. I didn't even freak out on the plane ride, and as a reward for that, the airplane gave me pink eye in my left eye! Thank you previous passenger of seat 41A! You made my first 4 days in Ireland a joy, and for that I will always remember you. It took me Amy and Eileen about 3 days to realize we were actually in Ireland, it just felt like we were visiting Keri at school and everyone around us just had really awesome accents. I think going to the Blarney Stone finally made us realize where we actually were. And yes, I did kiss it the Blarney Stone. I don't care if Irish men have pissed on it, I wasn't going to be a pussy about it, like some people coughkericough. We didn't do any other sightseeing beyond that, for a number of reasons. I was out of money, this trip was just about spending time with Keri, I knew I 'd be back someday anyways, I'm lazy, take your pick. I was out of money on TUESDAY. I got there on SUNDAY. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me. Thank god for cash advances on mom's credit card. I don't even want to think about how much I owe her now. The trip just further proved my point about why I would never trust myself with a credit card unless I have $100 million dollars in the bank. Who needs MONEY when you have PLASTIC? And plastic is so much better! You don't pay now, you pay later! It's magical!
The University of Limerick has a pub on their campus which starts serving beer at noon. If we had that here at NIU I'm pretty sure I would never go to class. Seriously, how fucking awesome is that? We went there every night to drink and twice there somebody mistook me for Keri. The first time me and Amy were out for a smoke, when Keri's flamingly homosexual friend Padrig (sp?) yells "Keri Keri!" and when I tell him I'm Katie, I get a kiss on the hand. Yay for Irish homos. The second time Keri and I are in line for the bathroom, and this girl passes right by Keri and says to me "Hi Keri!". Once both of them realized I wasn't Keri they said "Oh, now I can tell. I was wondering why she looked so much prettier than normal." I swear.
We made a huge Thanksgiving dinner over there, and I'm still surprised none of us got sick, with the jizzy turkey leaking his jizz everywhere as he jizzily defrosted. I swear Keri's lounge is infected with salomela or something. Everything was hectic leading up to dinner, but everything came together perfectly in the end and I think I can honestly say it was one of the best Thanksgivings ever. Yeah, we did eat mashed potatoes out of a box in Ireland of all places, but shove it up your ass, THEY WERE GOOD. We played a football game earlier in the day, and even though I didn't catch the ball one fucking time, my body hurt like I had been tackled by Brian Urlacher or something. And we only played touch football at that. I think I have to start facing the fact that my body is falling apart in my old age. Or maybe I could just start working out so that I wouldn't be sore from running around for a little bit. I'll probably just stick with the former.
Two weird things about Ireland: If you want to go to the bathrooms in a mall-type-place, you have to pay. It's only 20 cents, but still, what the fuck is that all about. And secondly, if I wanted a packet of ketchup to go with my fries, it was 15 cents per packet. Christ, those Irish bastards are just trying to squeeze money out of me any way they can. But there was no tax on anything, so that kinda made up for it. I guess.
All together it was a wonderful vacation and I loved every single minute of it. Keri's roommates and friends were the nicest people in the entire world and I had a good time with all of them. Keri, you were a marvelous host, even if you didn't feed us at all. I mean I know I need to lose weight, but you didn't have to be so blunt about it. I know you're going to be sad to come home, but I'm looking forward to it like a banshee. How am I going to survive with only J.P at Christmas? Who will I drink mom and dad's liquor with? WHO KERI, WHO? Bet you didn't think of that before you signed your soul over to Ireland for semester. Thank you for allowing us to trash your room for a week straight, for laughing at me when I said "I have 10 dollars in euro" and trying your best to explain to us how to get to the Blarney Castle. Sorry I said the word "bus" 8000 times in one conversation. I WAS CONFUSED. I love you, and see you in about a month, rounding up.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Dear Sister,
I Love...
you
Ireland
the Stables
playing football
eating e. coli turkey
my paddy cap
mom's credit card
you
Irish people
the roundabouts
your friends
Guinness
Penney's
the Kaiser Chiefs song "I Predict a Riot"
Ireland
how Katie said "Oh crap!" in her American accent
THE MIDNIGHT CLUB
your nicknames - Jizzy Peanut, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch and Uncle Jesse
I Hate...
jetlag
that stupid "You're Beautiful" song Amy was obsessed with
sleeping on the floor
Eireann buses
people yelling at me everytime I said "dollars" instead of "euro"
how much my body hurt after playing football
leaving you for another month
Kerianne, thank you for letting me, Amy and Eileen invade your room for a week. I had a marvelous time with you and your friends. Now come home soon goddamnit. I'll write more about the trip later, but right now I'm tired and lazy. Did anyone ever tell you you're as gay as Christmas? BALLS. Love you!
you
Ireland
the Stables
playing football
eating e. coli turkey
my paddy cap
mom's credit card
you
Irish people
the roundabouts
your friends
Guinness
Penney's
the Kaiser Chiefs song "I Predict a Riot"
Ireland
how Katie said "Oh crap!" in her American accent
THE MIDNIGHT CLUB
your nicknames - Jizzy Peanut, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch and Uncle Jesse
I Hate...
jetlag
that stupid "You're Beautiful" song Amy was obsessed with
sleeping on the floor
Eireann buses
people yelling at me everytime I said "dollars" instead of "euro"
how much my body hurt after playing football
leaving you for another month
Kerianne, thank you for letting me, Amy and Eileen invade your room for a week. I had a marvelous time with you and your friends. Now come home soon goddamnit. I'll write more about the trip later, but right now I'm tired and lazy. Did anyone ever tell you you're as gay as Christmas? BALLS. Love you!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Sisters In The Homeland
When I saw Bob Dylan for the first time on July 15th, 2000, my friend Julie and I had a countdown going from day 80. I had never been so excited about something. I even wrote on Keri's bedroom wall at home "4 more days til Dylan" because she insisted it would wash right off (she was wrong. Sorry again Dad). I had butterflies in my stomach for a week leading up to the concert. On the day of I thought I was going to burst I was so happy and excited and high and giddy and estatic and so many other things. I thought nothing would surpass the moment of me finally seeing my idol sing Like a Rolling Stone live onstage IN THE FLESH. Sure he sounded, uh, a little different than I expected but I thought I could die happy that day.
I haven't seen Keri since September 17th. We're freakishly close sisters, so not being able to see her for so long sucks ass, to put it mildly. As she put it, "this is the longest we've been apart in 20 years, and I MISS MY OTHER HALF." Is it wrong she considers me her other half and I whole heartedly agree? If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right. That's my stance on incest too, so take it or leave it. I know this trip is going to be the best week of my life and that I'll never be able to sleep on the plane unless I have pills, knowing that Keri is going to be on the other end waiting to pick us up. I'll finally be able to get my long-awaited Irish newsboy hat! I'm going to have a Guiness in a genuine Irish pub! I'll get to see the Blarney Castle, Ring of Kerry and Cliffs of Mohr! Get a tattoo in a foreign country! I'll get raped by the Euro-Dollar conversion rate! Most importantly I GET TO BE WITH MY SISTER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. Steal her food! Wear her clothes! Take cigarettes out of her pack with she's not looking! Tell her to do things, and make her do them before she realizes what she's doing! Convince everyone we're twins! Tell lame childhood stories and annoy everyone! IT'S GOING TO BE GLORIOUS.
Anyways, I was trying to compare the me-being-excited-for-Dylan to the me-being excited-to-see-Keri, but they don't even compare.
Dylan never got a dyke haircut: Keri has.
Dylan doesn't have "coarse, scarecrow" hair: Keri does.
Dylan didn't have to write only one goddamn paper this whole semester, and instead of doing it asked his sister if she had any papers she could plagarize: Keri has.
Dylan doesn't wear my clothes and then swear he didn't, only for me to find them on his floor: Keri does.
Dylan doesn't get speeding tickets, hide it from my parents, then lose her wallet and the ticket, and still come to visit me for the weekend, driving 65 the entire way: Keri has.
Dylan wouldn't say " so I turned the lights down low, put on some luther van dross, and entertained my gentleman on my slowly spinning circle bed": Keri would.
Dylan doesn't get mistaken for my twin: Keri does.
It's a no-brainer: Keri wins over Bobby D. Kerianne, it's a good thing I love you or else I wouldn't let you fill up more than half of my suitcase with your clothes and food for Thanksgiving. I'll do my best to live up to what you told your friends about me, I don't want to dissappoint. I love you sister, and I will see you Sunday morning, bright and early. Yay!
I won't be posting until afterI come back on the 26th probably, so I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Just remember that no matter what you're doing, I'll be doing it in Ireland and having a much better time than you.
I haven't seen Keri since September 17th. We're freakishly close sisters, so not being able to see her for so long sucks ass, to put it mildly. As she put it, "this is the longest we've been apart in 20 years, and I MISS MY OTHER HALF." Is it wrong she considers me her other half and I whole heartedly agree? If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right. That's my stance on incest too, so take it or leave it. I know this trip is going to be the best week of my life and that I'll never be able to sleep on the plane unless I have pills, knowing that Keri is going to be on the other end waiting to pick us up. I'll finally be able to get my long-awaited Irish newsboy hat! I'm going to have a Guiness in a genuine Irish pub! I'll get to see the Blarney Castle, Ring of Kerry and Cliffs of Mohr! Get a tattoo in a foreign country! I'll get raped by the Euro-Dollar conversion rate! Most importantly I GET TO BE WITH MY SISTER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. Steal her food! Wear her clothes! Take cigarettes out of her pack with she's not looking! Tell her to do things, and make her do them before she realizes what she's doing! Convince everyone we're twins! Tell lame childhood stories and annoy everyone! IT'S GOING TO BE GLORIOUS.
Anyways, I was trying to compare the me-being-excited-for-Dylan to the me-being excited-to-see-Keri, but they don't even compare.
Dylan never got a dyke haircut: Keri has.
Dylan doesn't have "coarse, scarecrow" hair: Keri does.
Dylan didn't have to write only one goddamn paper this whole semester, and instead of doing it asked his sister if she had any papers she could plagarize: Keri has.
Dylan doesn't wear my clothes and then swear he didn't, only for me to find them on his floor: Keri does.
Dylan doesn't get speeding tickets, hide it from my parents, then lose her wallet and the ticket, and still come to visit me for the weekend, driving 65 the entire way: Keri has.
Dylan wouldn't say " so I turned the lights down low, put on some luther van dross, and entertained my gentleman on my slowly spinning circle bed": Keri would.
Dylan doesn't get mistaken for my twin: Keri does.
It's a no-brainer: Keri wins over Bobby D. Kerianne, it's a good thing I love you or else I wouldn't let you fill up more than half of my suitcase with your clothes and food for Thanksgiving. I'll do my best to live up to what you told your friends about me, I don't want to dissappoint. I love you sister, and I will see you Sunday morning, bright and early. Yay!
I won't be posting until afterI come back on the 26th probably, so I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Just remember that no matter what you're doing, I'll be doing it in Ireland and having a much better time than you.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
It's Snowing. Crap.
I'm almost postive I'm going to die of heat exhaustion in my room.
I woke up at 8:00 am to do a paper that was supposedly due at 12:30 today. It was the shittiest paper I'd ever written, of course, but I got it done 20 minutes before class. Only to find out it's not due until next Tuesday. I could have slept for 4 more goddamn hours.
I'm obsessed with the album If You're Feeling Sinister by Belle and Sebastian.
I was supposed to go home Thursday, but instead I'm staying until Friday so I can go out for Stephanie's 22nd birthday. My friends are getting old. We're doing this thing called "ride the rail" at Molly's, nine different beers for $25 and then you get a free shirt. A free shirt! I'd cut off my right arm if I got a free shirt. I'll also try my first Guinness that night. I wait 21 years to have a Guiness and then do it 2 days before I go to Ireland. Oh the irony. Or is that not really irony. Who cares. If Alanis can do it, so can I.
Bill, no Irish rock for you. I asked for advice on how to best make sure I fall asleep for the 6 hour flight, not advice on what would entertain me. I want no entertainment; I want sleep. Next time try reading the directions more carefully. Maybe I'll bring you home a bag of dirt or something, as a consolation prize.
I didn't do my homework tonight, so I have double to do tomorrow. Crap.
I took a nap today, and wanted to wake up at 7:00 pm to watch the Gilmore Girls, because I'm just THAT cool. I woke up at 8:04. Crap.
I hope The Office never goes off the air because I would cry. I know they only did 2 seasons, or 12 episodes in England and that scares me. I keep laughing thinking about the balding, fat white guy, Kevin, looking into the camera and saying how Michael and his boss Jan "made out and had sex." Also I have a crush on Jim, big nose and all. I found this list of quotes from the show, even though I was really busy and had a lot of important things to do. Read them. Now.
Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North" and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace. - Michael Scott
In FOUR days I'll be in the Homeland. With my sister. Hurrah!
I woke up at 8:00 am to do a paper that was supposedly due at 12:30 today. It was the shittiest paper I'd ever written, of course, but I got it done 20 minutes before class. Only to find out it's not due until next Tuesday. I could have slept for 4 more goddamn hours.
I'm obsessed with the album If You're Feeling Sinister by Belle and Sebastian.
I was supposed to go home Thursday, but instead I'm staying until Friday so I can go out for Stephanie's 22nd birthday. My friends are getting old. We're doing this thing called "ride the rail" at Molly's, nine different beers for $25 and then you get a free shirt. A free shirt! I'd cut off my right arm if I got a free shirt. I'll also try my first Guinness that night. I wait 21 years to have a Guiness and then do it 2 days before I go to Ireland. Oh the irony. Or is that not really irony. Who cares. If Alanis can do it, so can I.
Bill, no Irish rock for you. I asked for advice on how to best make sure I fall asleep for the 6 hour flight, not advice on what would entertain me. I want no entertainment; I want sleep. Next time try reading the directions more carefully. Maybe I'll bring you home a bag of dirt or something, as a consolation prize.
I didn't do my homework tonight, so I have double to do tomorrow. Crap.
I took a nap today, and wanted to wake up at 7:00 pm to watch the Gilmore Girls, because I'm just THAT cool. I woke up at 8:04. Crap.
I hope The Office never goes off the air because I would cry. I know they only did 2 seasons, or 12 episodes in England and that scares me. I keep laughing thinking about the balding, fat white guy, Kevin, looking into the camera and saying how Michael and his boss Jan "made out and had sex." Also I have a crush on Jim, big nose and all. I found this list of quotes from the show, even though I was really busy and had a lot of important things to do. Read them. Now.
Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North" and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace. - Michael Scott
In FOUR days I'll be in the Homeland. With my sister. Hurrah!
Monday, November 14, 2005
The One Where I Can't Stop Typing
WHY DID I HAVE TO WORK TODAY.
I missed the awesomest fucking Bears game. Chicago lived up to its nickname today with the wind blowing around 50 mph causing field goals to be blown 20 yards off course, Orton throwing 4 interceptions (at least I can pretend the wind was the problem there) and a 108 yard touchdown as a result of another missed FG. 108 FUCKING YARDS. I've seen the replay 86 times and it just keeps getting better. Those blocks! Those moves! That defense! That wind! Nathan Vasher is now in the history books, bitches. He was also the"Sounds of the Game" guy and it was kickass to hear all the grunts and hits as he ran down the field. HMT, you're only one who gives a shit so lets cyber high 5 or something. Five goddamn wins in a row. See you in Detroit come January.
Next week is the real test when we play the Panthers at home. They're actually a good team, so we'll really prove ourselves after we beat them. I can't wait to watch that game. Oh wait, I won't be able to. I have to go to Ireland instead. Oh the humanity.
I am really freaked out about the plane ride. If you've ever been on a longass flight, please leave me some advice on what will best knock me out the entire time. Xanax? Lots of whiskey? Qualuudes? A swift kick to the face? Reading my Global Politcal Economy textbook? I want to fall asleep in Chicago, while still on the runway at O'Hare, and wake up in Dublin screaming "WE DIDN'T DIE", no matter how great the in-flight movie promises to be. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. Plus I will bring you back a rock. From Ireland! Your very own Irish rock! Hurrah!
I have to read two 25 page papers by tomorrow and critque them. Awesome.
I have to read 130 pages of a book and write a 5 page paper on it by Tuesday. Also awesome.
I'll be in class/at work from 11 am-9 pm tomorrow. The awesomest.
Harry Potter and Walk the Line come out this Friday. My mom and I are going to see one of them, but I can't decide what I want to see first. Harry Potter so I can rub it in Keri's face? Or Johnny Cash so I can jizz all over myself? You KNOW how much I like jizzing. It's a tossup.
I'm taking two sweetass history classes next semester, the History of Chicago and Modern Ireland. It's almost like they knew it was my last semester. Not as excited about having two classes on Fridays and starting at 11:00 am every day. I haven't had a class on Friday or before 12:30 since freshman year. Again, the humanity. What the fuck.
I went to McDonald's today (I am apparently doing my best to sabotage the 11 lbs I lost) and after I ordered the server goes "Would you like to donate a dollar to save a child?" I didn't want to be accused of murder, so I gave my dollar just so my conscious would be clear. I had no idea my dollars had special healing powers or else I would have donated earlier. It was kind of like the time I went to give blood, but got denied after telling them I had been to the Domincan Republic. I explained, "Well it wasn't REALLY the Domincan Republic, it was a small ass island off the coast that the cruise line owned." She then asked "You don't want to get little baby a sick if your blood is tainted, do you?" Yeah, maybe I do. What now? LAY OFF THE GUILT TRIPS.
The plus side: I did get a free Destiny's Child song to download. All the blood-taker-outer-people gave me was a "I tried to give blood today" sticker. Cheap bastards.
I missed the awesomest fucking Bears game. Chicago lived up to its nickname today with the wind blowing around 50 mph causing field goals to be blown 20 yards off course, Orton throwing 4 interceptions (at least I can pretend the wind was the problem there) and a 108 yard touchdown as a result of another missed FG. 108 FUCKING YARDS. I've seen the replay 86 times and it just keeps getting better. Those blocks! Those moves! That defense! That wind! Nathan Vasher is now in the history books, bitches. He was also the"Sounds of the Game" guy and it was kickass to hear all the grunts and hits as he ran down the field. HMT, you're only one who gives a shit so lets cyber high 5 or something. Five goddamn wins in a row. See you in Detroit come January.
Next week is the real test when we play the Panthers at home. They're actually a good team, so we'll really prove ourselves after we beat them. I can't wait to watch that game. Oh wait, I won't be able to. I have to go to Ireland instead. Oh the humanity.
I am really freaked out about the plane ride. If you've ever been on a longass flight, please leave me some advice on what will best knock me out the entire time. Xanax? Lots of whiskey? Qualuudes? A swift kick to the face? Reading my Global Politcal Economy textbook? I want to fall asleep in Chicago, while still on the runway at O'Hare, and wake up in Dublin screaming "WE DIDN'T DIE", no matter how great the in-flight movie promises to be. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. Plus I will bring you back a rock. From Ireland! Your very own Irish rock! Hurrah!
I have to read two 25 page papers by tomorrow and critque them. Awesome.
I have to read 130 pages of a book and write a 5 page paper on it by Tuesday. Also awesome.
I'll be in class/at work from 11 am-9 pm tomorrow. The awesomest.
Harry Potter and Walk the Line come out this Friday. My mom and I are going to see one of them, but I can't decide what I want to see first. Harry Potter so I can rub it in Keri's face? Or Johnny Cash so I can jizz all over myself? You KNOW how much I like jizzing. It's a tossup.
I'm taking two sweetass history classes next semester, the History of Chicago and Modern Ireland. It's almost like they knew it was my last semester. Not as excited about having two classes on Fridays and starting at 11:00 am every day. I haven't had a class on Friday or before 12:30 since freshman year. Again, the humanity. What the fuck.
I went to McDonald's today (I am apparently doing my best to sabotage the 11 lbs I lost) and after I ordered the server goes "Would you like to donate a dollar to save a child?" I didn't want to be accused of murder, so I gave my dollar just so my conscious would be clear. I had no idea my dollars had special healing powers or else I would have donated earlier. It was kind of like the time I went to give blood, but got denied after telling them I had been to the Domincan Republic. I explained, "Well it wasn't REALLY the Domincan Republic, it was a small ass island off the coast that the cruise line owned." She then asked "You don't want to get little baby a sick if your blood is tainted, do you?" Yeah, maybe I do. What now? LAY OFF THE GUILT TRIPS.
The plus side: I did get a free Destiny's Child song to download. All the blood-taker-outer-people gave me was a "I tried to give blood today" sticker. Cheap bastards.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Pubes and Pete-ish
Jenns: yeah, I think I'll take a picture of my pubes right now
Me: aaaaand saved
Jenn: WHORE
--------------------------------------------------------------
J.P: my nose looks jewish???
Me: yeah it looks big, like bob dylan-ish
J.P: I've never heard anyone use bob dylan-ish as an adjective
Me: at least I didn't say Pete Townshend-ish
J.P: true
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
The Top Three...
Things I Learned Over the Weekend:
1. When cooking bacon in the oven, be careful when you take it out not to spill really hot grease all over your fucking foot. Also, I scream in a really high pitched voice when being burned.
2. If you are already sick and have a sore throat, having a pack of cigarettes and screaming at the top of your lungs for the 80's cover band at the bar will make you sound like a hoarse man for the rest of the week.
3. I really won't die if I don't have a cigarette for 2 days. Two down, the rest of my life to go. Wish me luck.
Things I Miss:
1. My mom offering to make me chicken noodle soup when I'm sick. And by "make" I mean heating up a can of Campbell's.
2. Being able to see my brother and sister. I haven't seen Keri since September 17th and J.P since August 17th. Being sibling-less is not cool. I have all these pent-up Tommy Boy and Wayne's World lines burning a hole in my mouth. MUST. GET. THEM. OUT. SOON.
3. Baseball. At least the Bears are winning, and that's fucking awesome, but only one game a week is not satisfying my cravings. Plus there's no Joe Crede and Paul Konerko.
Things I Have to Do Before November 17th:
1. The final draft of my 25 page research paper.
2. Three two page papers for my sociology class.
3. A five page book review for another history class. When will I start all this? November 16th.
Favorite Songs of the Moment:
1. One of These Things First - Nick Drake
2. Lips Like Sugar - Echo and the Bunnymen
3. Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Belle and Sebastian
Random Thoughts:
1. Why is it still 65 degrees? In November. In Northern Illinois. I don't understand it. I'm not complaining, but it's just weird.
2. Ariel, I hope your trailer didn't get blown to pieces by the tornado and that you are safe and sound. Also, I just looked at my old text messages the other day and saw the ones you sent me the night of the Sox game. I don't remember much of that night, so I'm sorry I didn't reply.
3. Why am I a dumbass? I sent out the bill to Comcast and forget to put the check in it. I impress myself more and more every day. Maybe that's why my internet decided to go out in the middle of writing this post. Fuck you Comcast.
Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Going to Ireland to see Kerianne in 12 (!!!) days. Holy shit, somebody get me some Xanax right now so I don't die on the plane ride. That wouldn't be cool.
2. Drinking a Guinness in a pub with my sister. Have I mentioned that? How I'm so fucking excited to see my sister? Like so excited I start hyperventilating when I think about it? No? Yes? One more time, just to clarify. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY SISTER. Keri, please leave a comment verifiying this so I don't look like as much of a creepshow or something. Do it or I'll tell Mom how you give free beejers to homeless guys.
3. Breathing normally and sounding like the goddamn lady I am again.
Favorite Memories of the Weekend:
1. The C10 reunion of a bunch of people who lived on my floor freshman year Thursday night. Talking about how stoned we were all of the time, or how we got busted by the cops all those times or how we stole the furniture from the other floors and put them in our lounge and got a $50 fine per item never gets old.
2. Threatening to hit the short guy in the balls the next time he "forgot" and touched my stomach again, after telling him not to 400 times. Short people are stupid.
3. Dancing with Jose the Astros fan who I had met the night the Sox won the World Series and rubbing it in his face that his team lost. That never gets old either.
4. Going over the Nick and Mikes after the bar and staying until 5:00 am learning how to play Euchere (sp?). Do we know how to throw down or what, bitches.
1. When cooking bacon in the oven, be careful when you take it out not to spill really hot grease all over your fucking foot. Also, I scream in a really high pitched voice when being burned.
2. If you are already sick and have a sore throat, having a pack of cigarettes and screaming at the top of your lungs for the 80's cover band at the bar will make you sound like a hoarse man for the rest of the week.
3. I really won't die if I don't have a cigarette for 2 days. Two down, the rest of my life to go. Wish me luck.
Things I Miss:
1. My mom offering to make me chicken noodle soup when I'm sick. And by "make" I mean heating up a can of Campbell's.
2. Being able to see my brother and sister. I haven't seen Keri since September 17th and J.P since August 17th. Being sibling-less is not cool. I have all these pent-up Tommy Boy and Wayne's World lines burning a hole in my mouth. MUST. GET. THEM. OUT. SOON.
3. Baseball. At least the Bears are winning, and that's fucking awesome, but only one game a week is not satisfying my cravings. Plus there's no Joe Crede and Paul Konerko.
Things I Have to Do Before November 17th:
1. The final draft of my 25 page research paper.
2. Three two page papers for my sociology class.
3. A five page book review for another history class. When will I start all this? November 16th.
Favorite Songs of the Moment:
1. One of These Things First - Nick Drake
2. Lips Like Sugar - Echo and the Bunnymen
3. Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Belle and Sebastian
Random Thoughts:
1. Why is it still 65 degrees? In November. In Northern Illinois. I don't understand it. I'm not complaining, but it's just weird.
2. Ariel, I hope your trailer didn't get blown to pieces by the tornado and that you are safe and sound. Also, I just looked at my old text messages the other day and saw the ones you sent me the night of the Sox game. I don't remember much of that night, so I'm sorry I didn't reply.
3. Why am I a dumbass? I sent out the bill to Comcast and forget to put the check in it. I impress myself more and more every day. Maybe that's why my internet decided to go out in the middle of writing this post. Fuck you Comcast.
Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Going to Ireland to see Kerianne in 12 (!!!) days. Holy shit, somebody get me some Xanax right now so I don't die on the plane ride. That wouldn't be cool.
2. Drinking a Guinness in a pub with my sister. Have I mentioned that? How I'm so fucking excited to see my sister? Like so excited I start hyperventilating when I think about it? No? Yes? One more time, just to clarify. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY SISTER. Keri, please leave a comment verifiying this so I don't look like as much of a creepshow or something. Do it or I'll tell Mom how you give free beejers to homeless guys.
3. Breathing normally and sounding like the goddamn lady I am again.
Favorite Memories of the Weekend:
1. The C10 reunion of a bunch of people who lived on my floor freshman year Thursday night. Talking about how stoned we were all of the time, or how we got busted by the cops all those times or how we stole the furniture from the other floors and put them in our lounge and got a $50 fine per item never gets old.
2. Threatening to hit the short guy in the balls the next time he "forgot" and touched my stomach again, after telling him not to 400 times. Short people are stupid.
3. Dancing with Jose the Astros fan who I had met the night the Sox won the World Series and rubbing it in his face that his team lost. That never gets old either.
4. Going over the Nick and Mikes after the bar and staying until 5:00 am learning how to play Euchere (sp?). Do we know how to throw down or what, bitches.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
One Of These Things First
I'm going to my two classes tomorrow. REALLY, I AM. Just because I haven't been to them the past three times doesn't mean I can't wipe the slate clean and start all over. Teachers like when you don't show up. It proves to them how much of a badass you really are, and really what's college all about, other than proving your badassness to your professors?
My friend Stephanie (who I call Step-on-me because I'm just THAT CLEVER) is taking me and Emily to eat in the dorms tomorrow. She's an RA so she gets free food, blah blah, and so we take advantage of her every chance we get. It always makes me realize how I never fully appreciated Nacho Thursdays when I lived in the dorms freshman year. You don''t know what you got til it's gone. Joni Mitchell never lies.
Then we're going to see the movie In Her Shoes at the cheap theatre and I know already that I am going to cry. A lot. Like whole-pocket-size-of-Kleenex a lot. The movie's about sisters and since I haven't seen my sister in forever and miss her like a witches tit (you like that Ker?) the whole time I'm going to be thinking, through my tears, "WHY CAN'T I FIGHT AND THEN TEARFULLY MAKE UP WITH MY SISTER? GOD I HATE IRELAND. ALSO WHY IS EMILY EATING ALL MY POPCORN? SHE IS A WHORE." And just so you know, I'm the pretty one, Cameron Diaz. You're the "chubby" one, Toni Collette. Being "chubby" in movies just means you're a size 8, so don't fret. But I'm still the pretty one so don't you forget it.
I'm getting sick. Awesome.
Tuesday night Emily and I went out and when I came home I threw myself in bed and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and Carly asked me "Do you remember coming into my room last night?" I SLEEP-WALKED AGAIN. This time I just opened the door, stared at her then shut the door and left. I am so fucking creepy. I've realized this happens when I got to bed drunk. Why is it starting now at 21 and not at 15 when I started drinking? My friend Megan reminded me of when I sleepwalked into my parents room over the summer, and I was drunk that night too. I have turned into a creepy drunk person. I'm going out tonight and I'm really going to tell Emily and Carly to lock their doors when they go to bed. It's for their own safety.
My friend Stephanie (who I call Step-on-me because I'm just THAT CLEVER) is taking me and Emily to eat in the dorms tomorrow. She's an RA so she gets free food, blah blah, and so we take advantage of her every chance we get. It always makes me realize how I never fully appreciated Nacho Thursdays when I lived in the dorms freshman year. You don''t know what you got til it's gone. Joni Mitchell never lies.
Then we're going to see the movie In Her Shoes at the cheap theatre and I know already that I am going to cry. A lot. Like whole-pocket-size-of-Kleenex a lot. The movie's about sisters and since I haven't seen my sister in forever and miss her like a witches tit (you like that Ker?) the whole time I'm going to be thinking, through my tears, "WHY CAN'T I FIGHT AND THEN TEARFULLY MAKE UP WITH MY SISTER? GOD I HATE IRELAND. ALSO WHY IS EMILY EATING ALL MY POPCORN? SHE IS A WHORE." And just so you know, I'm the pretty one, Cameron Diaz. You're the "chubby" one, Toni Collette. Being "chubby" in movies just means you're a size 8, so don't fret. But I'm still the pretty one so don't you forget it.
I'm getting sick. Awesome.
Tuesday night Emily and I went out and when I came home I threw myself in bed and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and Carly asked me "Do you remember coming into my room last night?" I SLEEP-WALKED AGAIN. This time I just opened the door, stared at her then shut the door and left. I am so fucking creepy. I've realized this happens when I got to bed drunk. Why is it starting now at 21 and not at 15 when I started drinking? My friend Megan reminded me of when I sleepwalked into my parents room over the summer, and I was drunk that night too. I have turned into a creepy drunk person. I'm going out tonight and I'm really going to tell Emily and Carly to lock their doors when they go to bed. It's for their own safety.
Monday, October 31, 2005
On A Bluer Ocean Against Tomorrow's Sky
1. This past week was the best week of my life. October 26th, 2005 was the best day of my life. Since I wanted to go home and watch the game with my Dad on Thursday, I wasn't expecting them to win and it didn't hit me right away with that last out Juan threw to Paulie. My friend Stephanie started crying and I was almost mad that the tears weren't coming to me. Christ, I tear up at commercials, why can't I cry when the White Sox win their first World Series in 88 years? I've since made up for it, and then some. I cried at the rally they held downtown on Friday when Frank Thomas talked to the crowd. I cried when I saw Paul Konerko holding his week old son. I cried reading articles about how wonderful the Sox work together as a team, not as indiviual superstars, in the Tribune. Now I almost feel sad that it was over so quick but I'm so glad I was able to see it. I'll be telling my grandkids about the 2005 White Sox team. Jerry Reinsdorf, if you don't offer Paul the money he deserves, and sign him for at least 5 years, I will hunt you down and kill you. Don't make me angry.
2. My mom buys me a pumpkin each year but I've never gotten around to carving it. I actually did do it this year and it looks fucking awesome. I carved out the old-school Sox logo on it and it turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I made Emily take pictures of it with her digital camera, and you can bet your ass I'm going to post them on here when she gets them online.
3. I didn't go to a single class this week. Not one. Both of them were cancelled Monday, so that left only 5 I had to go to. Only 5 classes over the course of 3 days and I couldn't manage to go to any of them. I decided it was Sox Celebration Week and gave myself a week long vacation. I will never survive in the real world.
4. One of the classes I have to take is my huge history research paper one. The whole course is based around a 25 page paper and the work that goes into writing it. Our 20 page rough draft was due Saturday at noon. I had 4 pages done already for a previous assignment, but didn't start the last 16 pages until 6 pm Friday. I got 11 done that night, and wanted to wake up at 8 am to finish but of course overslept and got up at noon. I didn't finish until 5 pm Saturday and emailed it with some bull shit excuse for being late. The paper sucked ass but I did get some consolation in winning the award for Biggest Procrastinator in the Entire World. Please don't even try to compete with me.
5. I went to a bar yesterday with some friends for a Halloween party and was very original with my costume. It took me weeks to come up with such a clever idea, I didn't just put it together at the last second. I wore my AJ Pierzynski shirt and black mascara underneath my eyes so it looked like the grease outfielders wear. God I am so fucking creative. Why I didn't win first place I'll never know.
6. I will be reunited with my Sister in the Homeland in 20 days. I might be changing my return flight so we can see Dylan in Dublin on the 26th. Seeing him for the 9th time, with my sister, internationally at that. Does life get any better? I submit that it cannot. (Has anyone ever seen the comedian Brian Regan on Comedy Central? If you haven't, do it up now bitch.)
7. So how bout dem Bears? They won for the 3rd straight week and are now first in their division. Do I smell a Super Bowl in January? Probably not, but I'm getting greedy now. The Sox have spoiled me. Kyle Orton, please do something about your beard. I don't think its supposed to go that far down on your neck. You are frightening all the children.
8. Since I started my diet in September I've lost 11 pounds. Now I only look 4 months pregnant, not 5! Who knew that eating less made you lose weight? I'm going to market this new-fangled diet and make billions. The best part? I haven't changed my drinking habits at all. I drank 5 days this week and still lost 2.4 pounds. Now if that isn't the awesomest fucking thing in the entire world, I don't know what is.
9. I went to bed around 2:30 last night and woke up at 9 am in Emily's bed. She wasn't home, so it's not like I sleep-raped her, but what the fuck? One time last semester I woke up on the couch in the front room after having gone to bed in my room. And one time when I was a lot younger I sleep-walked to the back door and tried to open it to get outside. I'm going to tell Emily and Carly to start locking their doors when they go to bed at night from now on. I would flip out if someone came into my room sleep walking, and probably shit myself. (I get startled so easily its annoying.)
10. I don't know why I number the paragraphs.
2. My mom buys me a pumpkin each year but I've never gotten around to carving it. I actually did do it this year and it looks fucking awesome. I carved out the old-school Sox logo on it and it turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I made Emily take pictures of it with her digital camera, and you can bet your ass I'm going to post them on here when she gets them online.
3. I didn't go to a single class this week. Not one. Both of them were cancelled Monday, so that left only 5 I had to go to. Only 5 classes over the course of 3 days and I couldn't manage to go to any of them. I decided it was Sox Celebration Week and gave myself a week long vacation. I will never survive in the real world.
4. One of the classes I have to take is my huge history research paper one. The whole course is based around a 25 page paper and the work that goes into writing it. Our 20 page rough draft was due Saturday at noon. I had 4 pages done already for a previous assignment, but didn't start the last 16 pages until 6 pm Friday. I got 11 done that night, and wanted to wake up at 8 am to finish but of course overslept and got up at noon. I didn't finish until 5 pm Saturday and emailed it with some bull shit excuse for being late. The paper sucked ass but I did get some consolation in winning the award for Biggest Procrastinator in the Entire World. Please don't even try to compete with me.
5. I went to a bar yesterday with some friends for a Halloween party and was very original with my costume. It took me weeks to come up with such a clever idea, I didn't just put it together at the last second. I wore my AJ Pierzynski shirt and black mascara underneath my eyes so it looked like the grease outfielders wear. God I am so fucking creative. Why I didn't win first place I'll never know.
6. I will be reunited with my Sister in the Homeland in 20 days. I might be changing my return flight so we can see Dylan in Dublin on the 26th. Seeing him for the 9th time, with my sister, internationally at that. Does life get any better? I submit that it cannot. (Has anyone ever seen the comedian Brian Regan on Comedy Central? If you haven't, do it up now bitch.)
7. So how bout dem Bears? They won for the 3rd straight week and are now first in their division. Do I smell a Super Bowl in January? Probably not, but I'm getting greedy now. The Sox have spoiled me. Kyle Orton, please do something about your beard. I don't think its supposed to go that far down on your neck. You are frightening all the children.
8. Since I started my diet in September I've lost 11 pounds. Now I only look 4 months pregnant, not 5! Who knew that eating less made you lose weight? I'm going to market this new-fangled diet and make billions. The best part? I haven't changed my drinking habits at all. I drank 5 days this week and still lost 2.4 pounds. Now if that isn't the awesomest fucking thing in the entire world, I don't know what is.
9. I went to bed around 2:30 last night and woke up at 9 am in Emily's bed. She wasn't home, so it's not like I sleep-raped her, but what the fuck? One time last semester I woke up on the couch in the front room after having gone to bed in my room. And one time when I was a lot younger I sleep-walked to the back door and tried to open it to get outside. I'm going to tell Emily and Carly to start locking their doors when they go to bed at night from now on. I would flip out if someone came into my room sleep walking, and probably shit myself. (I get startled so easily its annoying.)
10. I don't know why I number the paragraphs.
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