Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Drop Your Reds, Drop Your Greens And Blues

1. Best book in the entire world, September edition: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I started this book at work on Friday and knew I was going to love it by page 30. I planned on staying in to read it, but around 12:30 am Megan talked me into a 40 and a few beers, but she left by 4:30 and I finished it by 6:30. So good. So fucking good. I got out Foer's first book, Everything is Illuminated, which I had heard about before, but I can't get into it. I totally ruined it for this book by reading Extremely first. I will finish it, but holy shit. Read this book immediately.

2. Best good-lord-why-did-it-take-me-so-long-to-discover-this album: Exile on Main Street by the Rolling Stones. I really can't stand most Stones song, save for Miss You, Emotional Resue, Beast of Burden, Sway and one or two others, but for the past month I was obsessed with their song Sweet Virgina. I found out it was on Exile, so I bought it, and lo and behold, and the whole fucking album is awesome. I can't stand the Stones nowadays; the best word that comes to mind when I think of them is "travesty", courtsey of Jason Mulgrew, and I couldn't agree more. But Exile on Main Street - farthest thing from a travesty as you are ever going to get.

3. The family dog, Bailey, is a giant pussy when it comes to thunderstorms. She's not allowed upstairs in our rooms any other time, but my mom will allow exceptions when it's storming out. Yesterday it wasn't even thundering, just some random lightning and a little rain, but Bailey would not stay downstairs and kept following me around (I'm the only one home, my parents are on vacation). I shut my door on her to go to bed, but then I turned into the giant pussy and let her sleep on my floor. I know, I'm practically Mother Theresa. You have no idea how much I hated myself for feeling guilty. This is me we're talking! I hate dogs! With a passion! Especially Bailey! And yet I FELT BAD FOR A DOG (who does that?), caved, and let her sleep in my room. Goddamnit.

4. This having my own car and house to myself? I'm pretty sure I could get used to it. Of course my real own place will be much better because there will not be a DOG there or 400 plants I have to water every other day (yet have only done once so far) but this'll do for now. I just hope my parents don't freak out too bad when they find out I changed the locks.

5. My friend Diana and I decided we're going to get an apartment together in May. I mean first we have to get better jobs, save up and sign the lease, but those are just minor details compared to what color scheme our front room is going to be and the end tables we'll have. Glorious glorious endtables. Diana is the one person (besides Keri, who I'm sure will practically live with us anyways) I could see living with because even though we fight like a married couple, I think that will work to our advantage. I can tell her straight up when she's annoying me, or I'm mad at her, and we fight, but it'll be over an hour later. This could turn out very bad, but she likes to clean, but isn't as anal as Emily, is kickass at decorating, loves cooking and already agreed not to hang up her "hippie shit" in the front room. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

6. I can't even remember the last time I saw a movie in the theatre (maybe Walk the Line?), but it was awhile ago. Not that there's never movies I want to see, there is all the time, I just never actually go see them. All that will change in November when Borat comes out. I saw the trailer for it the other day on and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say it will be the greatest movie ever. Of all time. From here until eternity. Maybe even greater than Citizen Kane - WHO KNOWS.

7. Oh good lord. Some lady just called work because she couldn't get the tape dispenser she bought here at the UPS Store to work. I'm quitting tomorrow.

8. If the Bears play like this every game for the rest of the season, we're going to the Super Bowl. Hands down. I guarantee it.

9. My (rich) aunt and uncle are going to Italy for two weeks starting the 26th. They have five kids, three of which are in college and then a nine and twleve year old. Seamus, the 12 year old is a douche, but I've dealt with worse. Maeve, on the other hand, is my favorite cousin and is the biggest sarcastic smartass you could ask for in a nine year old. She's awesome. My aunt needs a baby-sitter to see them off to school and then be there from 2:30 on when they get home. She is going to pay me $100 a day to do this. Plus I'll still be able to work from 8:30-2:00 pm most days, and won't be spending money at all either, since I'll pretty much be living there. I am going to be rich. Very very rich. Well at least by 22 year old standards. Just in time for those student loans too. Great.

10. And finally, I am sad to report that our bigass van my parents have that seats 12, died in Wyoming. That van was good to us, carting my Girl Scout troop to whatever the fuck we did as girl scouts, moving me into the dorms and two different apartments, countless roadtrips all over America and embarassing me severely the one time I drove it to the bar (I was desperate, ok? The guy I was meeting there called and said "come down this block, there's a spot right behind me" and I said "um, no, I don't want you to see me driving this. I'm parking on Campbell".) Instead we have a brand new red 2006 Expedition. Which I will never be able to drive. Awesome.