Thursday, February 24, 2005

All Your Life, You Were Only Waiting For This Moment To Arrive

The countdown: in nine hours I'll be out of here and on my way to the UP for our ski trip. Finally. I feel like I've been looking forward to this weekend for three goddamn years. When I was on the phone earlier with my mom, she said she was "packing the Coors Light for you girls." Thanks for sticking us with the shitty beer Uncle Mike left at our house last month, Mom. And we "can't touch the MGD, that's Dad's beer." Apparently his mother never taught him how to share.

The only thing that sucks about this weekend is the awful, awful timing of it. I had to take a test today, because I'm skipping class tomorrow, and I have a paper and huge test on Monday. I hate having to think about all that shit the entire weekend. Of course I could have done the paper today, so it would be one less thing to worry about, but that would be considered "productive" and we all know Katie don't play dat game.

This Easter, my parents and J.P will be ditching us to go to Arizona, so Keri and I will be orphans with no place to go. (Catholic high schools plan their breaks over Easter. Never would have guessed, huh?) I was thinking about hitching a ride home with my cousin, so Keri and I would both be home for the weekend, with the house to ourselves, but instead Keri is going to come up here. Of course DeKalb is going to be a goddamn ghost town, like always, but I think it's going to be fun. And in case you were wondering, yes, Keri already said she would bring eggs up here so we could decorate them. Hopefully we can scam some money out of mom to pay for dinner, since they are DITCHING us on a holiday. The guilt trip better work.

I have some pretty fucking kickass weekends coming up. This weekend, I'm going skiing (have I mentioned that?), next Friday KJ (the old roomie) is coming up, then Saturday I'm going home for the night and so is my best friend Megan. Then the next Saturday I leave for Flor-id-ia. I can't believe Spring Break is coming up so fast already. That means it's already the middle of the semster, and it seems like it just barely started. Maybe it's because I barely go to class. That could play a role in it. I'm floating by now, hardly doing anything, but I am going to be fucked up the ass come April when I have three term papers due all within two weeks of each other. Something to look forward to.

Please tragis, stop itching, for the love of god.

I have a new obsession with rice.

I got pizza today, and it was shitty.

The one time I go to bed early (10:30, bitches), Rufus Wainwright is on Conan. Fucking a.

Bob Dylan was a sexy beast in 1966.

I have to be in a car for 8 hours tomorrow.

But I get to go skiing for two marvelous days.

Have a wonderful weekend, bitches.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

I'll Give You Something To Tragis About

It's snowing outside. We're supposed to get 3-5 inches tonight. Go away winter. How much longer until spring is here? I want the temperature to go above 40 degrees. I'd wear flip flops and a tank top if it reached 40 degrees. Goulet. I'd turn on the air if it got to 50 degrees. I'd call it a heat wave if it reached 60 degrees.

Emily needed to go to the piercing place to get a new nose ring yesterday, and since she had to go anyways, I wanted to get something else pierced. So I went with the most badass piercing I could think of - my tragis. You all know what a tragis is, don't you? I knew before I asked the piercer, I swear. EVERYONE knows where their tragis is. Did you know you have 2 tragises? (or tragi? I don't know the plural). For all of you douches who don't know, your tragis on your ear. It's not the lobe, or your cartilage, it's the little thing that sticks out from your head, I guess you could say. I don't know how to describe it. Kinda right above the hangy-lobe part. I'm so descriptive. Goulet. I had the following conversation with my mom:
Me - Mom, I got something else pierced today. My eyebrow.
Mom - Jesus Christ Kate, are you serious? Why would you do that to yourself? You need to save your money, not spend it on piercings.
Me - I'm kidding. I did get something pierced, but not my eyebrow. I got my tragis pierced.
Mom - What the hell is your tragis?
Me - (I try to explain it)
Mom - Well don't get anything else. I'm gonna start making you pay for you own bills, if you have money to get things pierced.
Me - Ok, ok, I won't get anything else pierced. Well except for my nipple next week.
Mom - Oh Kate! That hurts me just to think about that!

Mom's not a fan of the nipple piercings. Who knew? But what I do know is that tragis is my new favorite word. I wish it had a better meaning so I could retort to everthing, "Your face is a tragis." Not like the-making-no-sense part will stop me, but still. Why did they make such a cool word have such a lame meaning. And who knew that part of your ear had a name anyways? Learn something new everyday. Goulet. It hurt like a bitch though to get pierced. My friend Diana called me a "sally" because she didn't think it hurt. Screw you Diana.

Last thing about my parents: Friday night I got a text message from my dad that said: "Ha Ha Mom and I are at the Yanni concert and you're not. Love Dad." So I sent back, "I'm jealous! Extremely jealous. Have fun being old people. Love, Kate." Is this what I have to look forward to when I'm 50 years old? Yanni concerts? Really? Goulet. I better enjoy these next 30 years then, cause it's all Yanni concerts from there on.

I'm surprised I'm still up right now. Friday night, I drank too much wine and passed out at 10:00 pm. Then I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep until 6:30. Saturday night, again, drank too much wine and was alseep by 11:00 pm. Then I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to bed until 11:30 this morning. What the fuck is that. Usually I'm the master at going back to bed right away, but God must hate me this weekend. There was an Indiana Jones marathon on today though, so that made up for lost sleep. Plus Toy Story 2 was on later. The gods were smiling on me then. Good lord I have a boring life. I can't wait for Thursday. I'm outta heeeeeere for three days. Goulet, bitches.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The Top Three

.....Reasons I love my mom today:
. The way she says "Hi honeeeey!" when she picks up the phone and is surprised to hear my voice on the other end.
2. This conversation:
Mom - I'm going to see Menopause on Saturday!
Me - Menopause? What?
Mom - Menopause: the Musical! Stop laughing at me.
3. How proud of herself she was when she told me she turned on the computer and went online ALL BY HERSELF today. "Dad didn't help you at all?" "Well I had to call him once, but I turned it off by myself too!"

......Reasons I love my sister:
She got accepted for study abroad in Ireland! Congratulations sister! This means I get to visit her.
2. Because we curse ourselves daily for not going to the same school. Maybe it's a good thing though. We would be certified alcoholics if we did. I blame her; I went to school first, and her being the younger sister should have followed me. You just don't ever learn Kerianne.
3. They way when we're together, and she says something I "don't approve of" I look at her and say, "1.....2....". And we're the only two who laugh about it.

....Things I am most anal about:
Lipgloss. Needs. To. Be. In. My. Pocket. At. All. Times. I apply my Bonne Bell at least 55 times a day, give or take a few. If we're leaving to go somewhere, and I can't find it for some god-awful reason, I have a panic attack that will not go away until I find it. And if I can't find it? Then I can't go. I can't use chapstick, I need glittery lipgloss. Yes I am 20 years old and I wear glittery lipgloss. I can see myself sewing a pocket onto my wedding dress so I can reapply it at the altar.
2. Don't. Fucking. Touch. My. Face. Ever since my mom told me in 6th grade that touching my face with my hands would cause me to get pimples, I haven't touched it. If I want to rest my head on my hand, I pull the sleeve of my hoodie up to act as a protector between my face and my greasy, gross slimey hand that will give me 400 pimples if I touch it to my face. I even wipe off my mom's kisses, I am that badass. When I see someone rubbing their foreheads or cheeks, or stroking their chins, I want to throw up. This phenomeon has caused several awkward moments.
3. Before you put something in the dishwasher, you must rinse it out. Did you hear me, roommates o' mine? YOU MUST RINSE THE DISH FIRST. And if you're cooking something, like macaroni and cheese, soak the pot in water first, so the cheese comes off easier in the dishwasher. Or else the cheese is going to sit there on the dish, and never come out, no matter how many times you stick it in the dishwasher. SOAK, then put in dishwasher. Goddamnit, why doesn't everyone know that.

.....Things I laughed hardest at today:
1. Jason Mulgrew's pictures he put in his blog. The man let me down when he changed his website, but I still read him everyday, and I do get a good laugh once and awhile still. Today was the motherload though. Check out the picutres at
2. Me - Emily I'm going to cut up your precious baby blanket.
Emily - I'll shit in your mouth.
3. When Emily and I were trading babysitter stories and she told me how she likes to scare kids. I won't tell you the example she gave me because you'll think she's a monster. Which she's not. Who doesn't get a kick out of scaring little kids?

......Nicest things I've heard today:
1. When I was getting out my first class today, I ran into my old friend Justin who lived on my floor freshman year. I hadn't seen him since December, so we had a cigarette outside and caught up. While we were standing there, one of his friends walked by and asked Justin what he was doing. He replied, "Catching up with an old friend." As I was going back inside to my second class, and he was heading home he said, "Katie, I want you to be a friend, and not an old friend anymore, so give me a call sometime." I thought that was precious. Now I remember why I had a crush on him the entire freshman year.
2. Emily told me how her mom was telling her that she thinks me and Emily will be friends for the rest of our lives. Goddamn right we will be Jo.
3. When I was talking to my mom, she asked about Antonio, so I gave her the latest drama. I'm sure she wasn't expecting me to go on about what happened for 10 minutes, but I did, and after I was done she said, "I'm so glad you told me all of that." Sometimes I still don't think my mom really believes that I'm not the same bitch I was from age 13-18. Living apart from your mother can do wonders for your relationship.

.....Favorite songs at the moment:
1. A Perfect Sonnet by Bright Eyes
2. Soul Love by David Bowie
3. To Love and Be Loved by Bright Eyes. He says "goddamn" about 4 times within the first 30 seconds. I love it.

......Things I am most excited about:
1. Going to Flor-id-ia over spring break. I can't fucking wait.
2. Turning 21. Big surprise there. The official countdown - 83 days.
3. Having a baby girl and naming her Nico Blue. I'm obsessed with that name. But maybe I should chose something that will happen in the more immediate future.
4. In that case, I'll chose going skiing a week from today. I can't wait to pretend that I know how to ski, when all I really do is go down the hill 80 miles an hour and then manage to stop without falling. At least I do know how to stop though, it's kind of important.

What's your top 3, bitches?

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Lover I Don't Have To Love

I am a dirty dirty bitch.

I was telling Keri about Antonio about two weeks ago, and she goes,
"You're just like Jerry Seinfeld"
Me - How?
Keri - You don't like people based on the smallest things.
Me - Holy shit, you're right.

I AM Jerry Seinfeld. Well at least Jerry's character on Seinfeld. I don't like people based on the stupidest shit. The summer going into college, this guy Brian liked me, and on my last night before I left for school, he took me out on a kind-of date. We went out for ice cream, but before we could do anything else, my friend called me bawling her eyes out becasue she thought she was pregnant, so he took me home so I could go see her. He came up to visit me once at school, just for the day, and would come up periodically and take me to visit friends at ISU. He must have taken me there at least 4 or 5 times, and nothing ever happened. At first I really liked him, but he took too long to make a move, so by the time he told me, three months AFTER we had gone out for the first time that he "had a crush one me" I was over him. There were plenty of oppurtunities for things to happen, but he never made a move. You know why I started not to like him? Because of the way he danced. Honest to God, that's what turned me off. And it's not like I have some sexy dance skills of my own, I don't. Not by a long shot. But when I do dance, I know I'm making an idiot of myself, and other people can tell too. He on the other hand thought he was all smooth and it made me want to throw up. Plus one time he put on a John Mayer cd on the way down to ISU. This caused my ears to bleed. I didn't think I hated John that bad, but good lord, his cd was awful. And then another time he turned off my favorite song and wouldn't put it back on. Asshole. But really, my main cause of hatred was his dancing. I couldn't stand it.

With Antonio, one of the reasons I don't like him is because of his monotone voice. He never changes voices at all, when telling a story, whispering, talking in class or when he's trying to be funny. It drives me up the wall. This was the reason Keri told me I was like Jerry. I don't like people based on the smallest offense. Once I notice "the offense" it's all I can focus on and I can't get over it. Lame I know, but what are you going to do about it? Another thing about Antonio is the way he is in class. I know I used this line already in telling Keri and Jenn this, but he's a know it all who thinks he's god's gift to political science. Here's what he said today in class.

Teacher - What was Max Weber trying to say was the problem?
Antonio - Protestant work ethic.
Teacher - Right. Can you explain what protestant work ethic is for us Antonio?
Antonio - *big sigh* Nevermind. I learned this in eighth grade. I don't need to explain it.

Woah, take it down a notch asshole. I, for one, do not know what work ethic is and I'm sure I wasn't the only one in the class. Are the rest of us who don't know not as superior as you because we didn't learn it in eighth grade? I'm so sorry the teaher asked you to explain something for the rest of us that must be so obvious to you. Please tell us how we can stimulate you in class, since all of this must be so beneath you can't even asnwer the question without acting like a douche bag. Going off on bit of a rant there, but he really annoyed the fuck out of me today. Thank god our second class together was cancelled, I don't think I could have sat next to him for another 75 minutes.

He asked me during class if I had any plans tonight, and I said no, that I just had my night class though. He asked if I wanted to come over to "smoke weed and watch tv" and me not knowing what to say kind of said yes. I think I'm over the whole smoking weed thing anyways. I don't enjoy it anymore and would rather drink instead. So what do I do after night class? I keep my phone off so I can't answer his call. I was going to call him at 10 or 10:30 to tell him I had homework to do, but now it's a quarter to 12 and I still haven't. I really didn't feel bad until Carly says to her boyfriend, "Katie ditched her date tonight!" I didn't even think of it as a date (who thinks of smoking weed and watching the telly as a date) and I didn't think of it as ditching him since I was going to call and make up something later anyways. But ever since she said that about 30 minutes ago I feel like an ass. And rightly, I should, because as I first stated in this post, I'm a dirty dirty bitch. Keri keeps telling me to tell him that I don't like him "like that", but how to I bring that up? I can't even make up a fake conversation for it. It's just too awkward and I don't want to think about it. I think I need to go to a therapist and get over my fear of boys who actually like me. This might take years.

I thought I had more examples of me being like Jerry, but I can't think of any. The comparison probably doesn't sound good typed out, but it was perfect in my head. I think that Bright Eyes song I used in the title sums it up for me. I just want a lover I don't have to love. Or doesn't love me in return. Christ, it doesn't even have to be love. I just don't want anyone to like me. Son of a bitch, bitches.

Monday, February 14, 2005

I Love You All Like A Banshee

It's been raining all day here in shitty little Dekalb. Not that I ventured any further from my apartment all day than to take out the garbage, but it was a nice rain and I enjoyed it. Not too cold, not windy at all, just a steady drizzle all day. None of this really matters, but I just went to go have a cigarette, and all I can say is holy fuck. Holy motherfucker it's foggy outside. I can't see the dorms that are about 50 yards from my place (or it could be farther, I'm not good at describing distances. If I had my way I would say "it's not too far away at all" and leave it at that). I can't see the trees that are definitly no farther than 20 feet from my balconey. I mean, I've seen fog before, but this is just awesome. Even more awesomer because I'm not trying to drive in it right now. But the whole time I had my cigarette, I'm staring at "my surroundings" (that sounds really queer) just blown away. Mouth gaping wide open. I know none of you care and you're all saying to yourselves, "Get over it already Katie. We've all seen fog before. So shut your fucking gaping mouth", but really, it's fucking cool outside.

So ever since Jenn told me I "had to read" the other day, it's all I've been doing. And I know you told me to read it because you think she's funny, and trust me I do think she's funny, but the only thing I think about when I read her is that I want to BE her. I want to marry her husband Jon because I think I love him just about as much as she does, and I want to have her baby Leta, who is the most precious thing I have ever seen. The way she talks about Jon makes me want to get married tomorrow. I feel like she's the skinnier version of me, only because she's tall (5'11) like I am (5'9-10) and I think the tallness makes us very much alike. (I am very demented). I also want to live in Utah now. I've never even wanted to visit Utah before, but now I want to live there? What the fuck. I think I need to take a Dooce break before I start calling myself Heather and wondering why Jon is late for dinner tonight, he's usually ALWAYS home by 5:30. I sound horribly creepy now, but Heather, if you ever read this, I promise not to start stalking you and your precious family. Girl Scout's Honor.

So today is Valentine's Day, I just remembered. Even though I have no boyfriend, I am not one of those whiney people who hates-Valentine's-day-because-it's-a-Hallmark-created-holiday-or-I-don't-have-someone-to-share-this-wonderful-day-with-so-I'll-cry-and-slit-my-wrists. I fucking LOVE Valentine's Day and HATE hearing people bitch about it. For Christ's sake, if you don't like it, then ignore it. But do not, I repeat, do not whine to me about it. I love the color pink and candy and flowers (though not roses especially) and chocolate and those stupid cute commercials you see with pretty people sharing the special day together. It makes me happy to see other couples in love, and I know I'll be there someday too, so I'm not going to freak out or lash out at them because they have someone to share the day with. Yes, I may be a tad bit jealous, but who isn't. I won't hold it agaisnt you.

The other day my mom called and told me how she had heard Bob Dylan was coming to concert in April, and she wanted to make sure I knew about it. Since I'm a Bob Dylan freak, I had heard about it a few weeks ago, but nonetheless, as I'vce said before, I love when people call me to tell me Dylan stuff. I called her back today, to tell her thanks for telling me, and then she says, "Your father and I were thinking about seeing Dylan too, you know before he dies. And Merle Haggard is playing with him, so your father wants to see him." Then I hear my Dad in my background, "But we'll leave before Dylan starts!" My ass we will. First of all , I can't believe they want to go with me and Keri, considering how they've made fun of me for the past 5 or 6 years for listening to Dylan, but hey if this means they'll pay for the ticket, then I'm all about it. I can just hear my Dad bitching now about how awful Dylan sounds, so I'll be as far away from him as possible while my idol is on stage. I'll just have to remind him that I didn't make him come, so if he could kindly shut the fuck up, that would be appreciated greatly.

I just wrote out this huge ass paragraph about the time my dad almost caught me smoking when I was 16 at a Neil Young concert we went to, but deleted it because it was getting too wordy and lame sounding. To sum it all up: I've probably never looked so goddamn scared in my life. Nothing is worse than the prospect of you father catching you smoking at 16. Nothing. I would rather shit my pants in public than have him catch me smoking a P-Funk. Even now at 20 years old, I still can't smoke in front of him, and probably never will. In front on my Mom I can, but never Dad. I'll be 50 years old and my dad 81, and still I won't light up in front of him. Well I hope I'm not still smoking at 50, but you know what I mean. I am a giant pansy when it comes to my Dad.

Some things to look forward to:
- J.P hopefully coming up to visit me next Saturday.
- Leaving for Michigan to go skiing a week from Thursday, the 24th.
- Going to all my classes this week. All fucking NINE of them. Good lord I hope I can handle it.
- The food my mom bought me from Market Day that I'll get Saturday if J.P comes up.
- American Idol this week. I love you Simon Cowell.
- Getting my tax refund back. Hurry up and finish the forms already Mom.

Happy Valentine's Day bitches!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Avenues All Lined With Trees

There's a starman, waiting in the sky, he'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds.

So today was a pretty good day. Emily and I had decieded to get our noses pierced again, but we were going to wait until Wednesday to do so. On Wednesday Emily is going to an Internship Fair here at school, and she wanted to wait until after it was over to get it done. Today when I woke up at 4:00 pm (I'm awesome) there was a note on the table saying, "Katie we're getting our noses pierced today!" When she got back from shopping, I asked her why she wanted to get it done today, and not after the Internship Fair, and she goes, "If someone doesn't want to hire me just because of my nose pierceing, then that's pretty fucking lame." I couldn't have said it better myself if I tried. So by 5:30 we were off to get it done, and we were done in 15 minutes. Emily was about to shit her pants because she thought it would hurt really bad, but I was fine, because as I always say, nothing will hurt more than my tattoo, so piercings don't scare me at all. Maybe childbirth will hurt more, but I plan on taking as much drugs as they'll legally give me, so I figure I can deal with that. So now, two years after I got it done for the first time, I now have my nose pierced again. And it's not a fucking hoop, for those of you that think I'm a dyke (coughJenncough), it's just a tiny diamond stud. This bling-bling cost me a whopping $17.50 total for the stud and piercing. Who's going to bitch about that? Certainly not me.

Then afterwards Emily and I went to Wal-Mart, so I can finally get some food and not live solely off of pasta. My mom gives me $100 a month for food, but I only spend $50 of on food. I had basically already spend $50 at ISU last weekend, and if I had spent the whole $100 I would be almost broke by now. So thanks for that extra $50 Mom. I always said you were my favorite mom ever, and this time I really mean it. There's only two weeks left in February anyways, so I think I can deal with what I have until March. And if not, oh well, that $50 was well spend on beer, cigarettes and pizza. I wouldn't regret it even if you told me that was the last $50 I'd ever spend in my life.

Even though I had just bought food, we went to Wendy's after Wal-Mart for dinner. We ordered four things off the dollar menu (oh how I love you, Value Menu) and ended up getting two hamburgers for free, even though we had ordered no hamburgers. Before they realized what they had done, Emily sped out of there. Thank you Wendy's, for make my dinner even more awesomatic than planned.

I didn't go out tonight because I'm that cool, but hopefully, hopefully, Kelly, my old roommate is coming up tomorrow. I always have a shitload of fun with Kelly so I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm not going to hold my breath, because she's bailed on my before. Kelly is the one who found my address by calling my mom at home, and then coming into my apartment and scaring the living daylights out of me, so I'm hoping she surprises me.

I only went to two classes this week. Out of nine. What the fuck is wrong with me? I start class everyday at 2:00 and end at 4:45, except for Mondays when I have a night class from 6-8:40. I start at 2:00 and still don't go to them? Most of the time I wake up for them, but then just lay around and watch tv, instead of going. It's not like I have an 8:00 am class that I just can't get up for. I start at 2:00 pm. 2:00 fucking PM and I can't manage to work up the energy to go. Can you imagine me in the "real world" when I'm working 9-5 (and singing Dolly Parton all the time)? It's going to absolute mayhem I tell you, ABSOLUTE MAYHEM. And then when I have kids that have to be up for school at 7:00 am 5 days a week? Christ, I get the shakes just thinking about it.

Right now I'm obsessed with Joy Division. Well I can't say obsessed because I only have two songs downloaded, but still, shut the fuck up about it. Someone needs to suggest more songs by them so I can be a Joy Division fanatic. It's been my lifelong dream. Download Ceremony or Love Will Tear Us Apart. Now, bitches.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I Had To Send It Away To Bring Us Back Again

I'm bored out of my mind and for the last hour I've entertained myself by leaving random comments on blogs. Mainly they consist of me saying "Amen sister" or "God loves you". Or "Stop being a bitch." Yes, I am easily amused. But what else am I supposed to do at 2:00 am? Leave random comments on blogs? I thought so.

Today has been the longest day in the history of the world. Maybe it's because all I've done is watch tv. I got up, showered, even put on fucking makeup and ate something, thinking I was getting ready for class. But what did I do instead? Laid back down when I was supposed to leave and slept for two more hours. I don't think I've ever gotten over the fact that I'm not actually required to go to class each day. It's not like high school or grammar school when I had to fake sick to get a day off. Not that I even did that that much. I don't need a note from Mom justifiying myself when I miss class. If I don't want to go I just don't go. How fucking awesome is that? I'm never going to graduate.

So Antonio called me today and I didn't answer the phone. Am I a wretched bitch? Yes, I am. He left a message asking if I want to do something this weekend, but I don't want to at all. I'm just not "feeling it" with him, for lack of words. I need to tell him that soon. I'm thinking about using the line "I just like you as a friend". Completely original, no? Keri agreed with me that I made up that line all on my own, so it must be true. I'm dreading him asking me if I'll go out with him on Valentine's Day. Of course I'm completely jumping to conclusions thinking he'll ask me that, but I like to freak out about stupid shit, so that's awesome. And now I'm sick of talking about him, so I'll move on.

Some random things:
- Only 90 days until my birthday. Has everyone started thinking about presents? I sure hope so.
- It's already Thursday. Time sure flies when you only go to 4 classes a week.
- Keri was going to come here this weekend, then she crapped out on me, and now she might come again. Cross your fingers that she decides not to be a pansy and comes here to visit me.
- I love lamp.
- I'm pretty much definitley going to Florida for Spring Break now. And I'm definitley missing the Southside Irish Parade. I told my friend tonight and she basically disowned me. We solved it by saying she would carry around a cardboard cut-out of me throughout the parade.
- I need to look for a job next week. I'm going to need some goddamn money if I'm going to Florida and Ireland this year.
- I was going to go to bed early tonight, and attempted earlier, but now it's 3:53 am. I hate myself.

My favorite song aka download this song right now - Morning Theft by Jeff Buckley. It's marvelous, bitches.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Love Is Not A Victory March

I wasn't going to blog tonight because I'm very tired for some reason, but I think I can pop out a small one. I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep from this weekend, and even after getting 10 hours last night, I'm still dragging my ass. Trying to sleep at ISU was awful because Keri and I tried to sleep on her small ass dorm bed together. It was a wonderful thing to get back to my apartment Monday and sleep all sprawled out, not touching another person. Plus Keri kept trying to cop a feel, and that just isn't cool. Perv.

Besides getting a suckass nights sleep, I had a fucking wonderful time with Keri. On Friday we drank at my best friend's apartment, who goes to ISU also. Keystone Light was the beer of choice, and I might add, cheap beer at it's finest. The night ended with five of us girls singing church songs. Man, do we know how to throw down or what. Thank you Cahtolic school upbringing for ingraining those songs into our heads. I haven't been to church in years, but I still remember those songs like the back of my hand. If anyone would like me to serenade you, you know my number.

Saturday night was a first for me. Ladies and gentleman I would like to announce that I am a stripper virgin no more. I just reread that and it kind of sounds like I was the one taking off my clothes, but before you throw up, let me make it clear I wasn't the stripper. A friend of a Keri's friend was going to this girls birthday party, and invited a bunch of us to go with her. And good lord was it a funny night. At one point the stripper came by me and was dancing, and Keri got a picture, so I'll do my best to get it on here for you guys, don't worry. There's no experience like a stripper in a g-string shoving his penis in your face and then having some of his sweat drip on you. It was great. The best line ever, courtesy of the stripper, "I don't care if I have to pour drinks on you ladies, I'm going to make all of you wet tonight!" Guys, try that on a girl at a bar. I'm sure it would work wonders. Let me know how it goes.

Then on Sunday, we went back to Megan's to watch the Super Bowl. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to start drinking again at 4:00 and continued until midnight. We even went all out on the beer, buying Bud Light, in bottles at that. Who's the cheapass now, bitches? I had a shitload of fun that day. I think it helped that Megan's boyfriend's roommate was there, and I now have a huge crush on him. Too bad he basically knows everything about me now because we played this drinking game called Elections. When you play that game, not much is sacred anymore. If I ever meet any of you, I have to teach you how to play, it's a fun drinking game. All in all, a wonderful, marvelous Sister Weekend. Thanks for feeding me this weekend Kerianne, although we're probably even with how many fucking cigarettes you bummed off me. "I'm going to be honest with you, it smells like pure gasoline."

Gabe, I would like to formally accept your marriage propsal here. We could listen to the Doves and Jeff Buckley, once in awhile your hardcore music, and then a Bob Dylan album here and there. Look, we're already compromising! We'll be perfect together. I can just see it now, us drinking (a shitload), putting the record player on repeat (Grace, of course) and then making sweet, sweet love (doing it. a lot.). Haha, sorry I just got creepy, but "sweet, sweet love" made me laugh. Jenn already called maid of honor and Eric can be the best man. Bill, don't worry, we'll fit you in as the ringboy. I can't wait!

I just found out tonight that I might be going to Florida over spring break to do some Habitat for Humanity work. Emily and I were excited about this idea last fall, but then the hurricanes hit and the trip was cancelled, but now the trip is back on. It's only $200, where are you going to get a cheaper spring break trip than that. And we would be right on the Gulf of Mexico! I can't fucking wait. I did something like this, building houses, in Kentucky 4 years ago, and it was the best week of my life, so I'm really excited to do it again. Emily finds out more information about it on Thursday, so cross your fingers for me. The only downer - I might have to miss the Southside Irish Parade this year, which makes me want to cry. I don't think I've ever missed it, so this'll be a first. But hey, I trade cold Chicago for warm Florida? Fuck yeah bitches.

So this wasn't very short at all, but when have I ever made a short blog to begin with? That's what I thought, bitches.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Must I Dream And Always See Your Face?

So the first time I watched Donnie Darko was 2 years ago, and after seeing it, I remember going back to my room, sitting on my bed for 10 minutes going, "What the fuck was that?", but I loved it. I bought it a month ago, and watched it again, and I was excited to because it had been awhile. The second time, it didn't impress me as much, but still, it fucked with my head. Then tonight, Carly wanted to watch it, so I watched it with her. This time I'm just as confused at the first time. I think I understand it, but then I try to explain it outloud and it makes no sense. I think I figured it out, but then theres other things I don't understand. If you haven't seen it, maybe you shouldn't read the rest of this, FYI. Like the part of the plane that falls on Donnie's house. Was that from the plane that the mom and Sam were on? And was it stuck in the portal until it fell on the house? Did he go back in time just to save Gretchen? Did he see the future, and that's why Frank the Bunny was following him, because Donnie knew he was going to kill Gretchen? I don't get it. Someone help me out here.

Ok, enough of that, I can't think about it anymore or my brian will explode. Last note - I really like the ending song, I looked it up on Kazaa and it's called Mad World, by Gary Jules. So download it, or whine about how you can't download songs.

Tomorrow is Sister Weekend, finally. This goddamn week has gone by so slow. I had a test today in Anthrolpology, the same class that I have a test in on the day I'm supposed to leave to go skiing. I asked my professor after the test if I could take the test early, and he said sure. Sweetass, now I get to go skiing. That's coming up soon too, February 24th. There better still be some snow up there, because our's is finally melting here. I'm sure their will be though, I'll be in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan near Canada. I'm guessing it isn't a balmy 70 degrees up there quite yet.

I went to the library last night and got out three books, so it's going to take me even longer now to finish Dylan. I got Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, The Shipping News by Annie Proloux and Speaking With the Angel by Nick Hornby. I started reading Hornby first; it's a collection of short stories by famous English authors. I've always wanted to read About a Boy or High Fidelity by him, but the Angel one was the only one they had. And Cat's Cradle is still missing from the library here, so I think I'll just have to wait on that one until the summer, but I'll let you know how Breakfast is, Bill.

This post is tres boring, and I apologize. I'm not feeling the blogging tonight. I'll have about four days away from it though, so I'll be back in full force on Monday. Have a wonderful weekend, I know I will be. Try your best not to be jealous.

There is nothing better than taking a shower, and then going to sleep in clean sheets. I dare you to disagree with me, bitches.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

So Here We Are, The Last Broadcast

Damn, it's 4:00 am, and I'm semi-tired, but I just wrote about The Doves in Bill's blog, so now I want to listen to the album. Plus I have homework I should do to turn in tomorrow, since I won't be in that class Monday, but I'll be a dumbass and wake up early to do it instead. Oh how I love you dearly procrastination.

So tonight me and Antonio (I feel like I should say his name in an accent every time) went to go see Ocean's Twelve. Emily had warned me it was awful, but I really liked it. So maybe I didn't completely understand the ending, but regardless, I thought it was funny. I just typed that last sentence without looking at my hands. You would think with how much I type, I'd be a pro at it, but instead I seem to get worse. Everytime I write the word "the" I mistype it as "teh" and have to backspace and fix it. Also I seem to have a knack for typing "just" as "jsut" everytime. I should start using Spellcheck.

Antonio is starting to weird me out though. He keeps saying things that I don't think you should say on a first or decond date, unless you're trying to freak the person out. If that's the case, then it's working really well. I have to see him in class tomorrow, but after that I'll be free until next Wednesday, cause I'll be gone from Friday - Monday and have to study for a test tomorrow night.

I read every night before I go to bed, and my book de la week is Chronicles by Bob Dylan, that I got for Christmas. I've been reading it off and on, in between rereading Slaughterhouse Five, starting This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald and picking up Big Sur by Jack Kerouac again (I've been "reading" that one for probably two years now). For some reason though, I can't finish it. It got great reviews and even won some literary award, but I jsut can't get into it. I've read probably at least 8 books on Dylan already, but none of those of course were autobiographical. Whenever he gave interviews when he was younger, and still today sometimes, he hardly ever gave straght answers. He was always considered an "enigma" of sorts by the press, and that's how I'm used to him. So now that he actually wrote it all down, first handly, makes it a totally different thing to read. I guess I don't like knowing exactly how some songs were written, or what (or who) exactly they were written about. The part I like about Dylan is that he is a mystery. Yeah, everyone will always say Mr. Tambourine Man is about drugs, but no one but Dylan knows for sure. There are some obvious songs, like Sara which was written about his ex-wife. Her name was Sara, so I think it's a pretty safe bet. I don't know where I'm going with this, I can't explain it at all. To sum up - I can't finish the goddamn book. I think that was much too long of a paragraph just to get that one point across. Oh well.

Now it's 4:30, and I need to be up at 11:00, so I think I'm going to finally go to bed. But download The Last Broadcast by The Doves. And Jenn, I'm sorry I don't mean to make you jealous that you can't download songs. I really don't expect anyone to download it. It's just basically my way of saying "this is my favorite song of the monent." Can you deal with it now and stop being all ansty-in-your-pantsy? Night, bitches.

Comes a point where you feel nothing, this is the last time, cause I can see it in your eyes.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

It Seems Farther Than Ever Before

I am a movie-seeing machine. Last Wednesday Emily and I saw In Good Company (it was a lovely film) and tonight, Emily, Carly and I went to see Lemony Snicket at the cheap theatres. It was a bizarre movie. People were dying left and right. If I was a kid, I think I would have cried a lot. But it had a baby who talks. There is nothing I hate more than babies that talk, like in some commericals or movies like Baby Geniuses. Not that anyone really liked Baby Geniuses in the first place, but when I see an infant with it's mouth moving like he's a 40 year old wiseguy, I get the creeps, man. The baby in the movie really didn't talk like that, but it would say some gibberish, then it would be translated on the bottom. One time the caption was, "This guy's the MAYOR of Crazy" or something to that effect. Absolutley brilliant. No wonder I'm not in show business. I don't have the skills to come up with lines like that. I do however have nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills and bowstaff skills, so I'm cool.

I'm supposed to go see a movie with Antonio tomorrow, but I am really not looking forward to it. He was annoying me in class today, and plus I'm movied-out. I'm the laziest person in the entire world, meaning I can lay around all day, but I'm fidgety. I'm constantly crossing and uncrossing my legs, putting my feet on the chair, or on the row of chairs in front of us. It drives me crazy that I can't stand up and stretch every 5 minutes during the movie. And if I'm bitching about being cramped in there, he must hate going to the show, being 6'6" and all. He's going to look funny sitting there. Now I'm looking forward to going.

So that Pompeii thing was on last night, and I've heard from two people that didn't like it. Holy fuck, I was blown away by it. I sat there for the first hour, enthralled by it. I really did think it was fucking awesome, I'm not being overly sarcastic here. Yeah, I could have done without the commercials every 2 minutes, but regardless, it was great. Riveting. Heartstopping. Marvelous. I'm definitely visiting there someday.

Jenn, as for the details of my date, here's a quick synopsis: he picked me up, we went to Ruby Tuesday's, then rented Elf from Blockbuster, picked up some beer, watched the movie and drank the beer, then he drove me home. Fascinating, I know.

Is it Friday yet? I need this week to go by faster. Download Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie.I hope they have a good story behind their name, because I hate it with a passion, bitches.

You're My Raw-Bone-Okey Girl

I dedicate this blog to a lady to means everything to me. She's my friend, my lover, my confidante, my human punching bag and most importantly, my sister. I know I talk about Keri a lot already, but she's one cool bitch and has decided she needs a whole blog dedicated to her. I have nothing better to do with my time, so here you go lady.

Kerianne was born into this world on August 20, 1985, which means she's only 15 months younger than me. I had all my parents attention for only 6 short months before she barged in on all of us. I remember it just like it was yesterday. We used to beat the shit out of each other when we were younger, and still do sometimes. She knows she has it coming though when she comes into my room at 6:30 am and steals the shirt I was going to wear for work. Or steals my Jeff Buckley cd, making me think I lost it for the 83rd time. She knows that going Buckley-less automatically sends me into seizures, but she does it to me anyways. You know why? I think it's because she hates me. There really is no other reason, because she does have her own copy. But anyways, besides that, she's a pretty sexy beast.

-She takes me under her wings on New Years Eve when I have no plans
- She gets hit by a car chasing the goddamn dog
- She runs into fences at full speed, leaving marks of the grid on her face
- She loses her loaner cell phone
- She doesn't know the way to Jewel, the same Jewel that is less than a mile from our house and has been her whole life
- She once got a dyke haircut. Good lord, if I had a picture of that day, it would be gold. Solid gold.
- She loves Rufio as much, if not more, than I do
-She drove me around for 3 years because she was smart and got her licsence at 16, unlike me
- 3 songs define our childhood: "Man Needs a Maid" by Neil Young, "Oklahoma Sweetheart" by George Thoroughgood and "You Gotta Be" by Desiree. Holy fuck (HI DAD) we're we cool
- Her first concert was the Dixie Chicks
- We can recite Wayne's World, Tommy Boy and Napoleon Dynamite word for word
- She alone though can recite all of Sister Act: Back in the Habit
- If she could, she would survive on cheese fries
- She's the one person I could say "That thing on Rameses is on right now!" and would know exactly who I was talking about and what channel it was on
-She's the one who got me addicted to saying "Fuck yeah bitch"
- She has humungous boobs

Sister lady, I could go on about you forever. Who else would I fight over Phil with? "I chose her." I just looked at that picture frame thing you gave me for Christmas and I still laugh everytime I see that picture with the makeup all over our faces. Goddamn do I wish I could post it on here.

Ok, I'm under pressure to end this because you're going to bed soon, or else it would be a ton better. I can't think of anymore embarassing moments right now, but I'm sure a ton will hit me once I post this. You're my favorite sister ever, with the exception of Beebs, of course. Only 4 more days till this weekend, fuck yeah bitch.