Friday, April 28, 2006

I'm Just Consistently Inconsistent

1. I went to Subway today, to spend $5 I should have been saving for Great America because I was hungry and wanted a goddamn 6 inch BLT on wheat. As I went to pay, I handed her my debit card, and she just stood there with it for 30 seconds, because another worker was on the phone trying to get the machine you swipe it through fixed. I would have offered cash, but I didn't have any, so after 30 seconds she goes, "Just take it, the machines broken." Fuck yes, I got a free Subway meal today, and so did the girl behind me. After us they put a sign on the window, saying they're not accepting debit until it was fixed. I couldn't have picked a better three minute time span to go to Subway.

2. Keri's phone broke last weekend during a tough obstacle course in Beer Olympics. She claims it doesn't bother her she can't get a new phone until my parents come back from vacation next Monday (their 54rd vacation in the past six months by the way), like she's so much cooler than everyone else who depends on their cellphone. We bow down to you, Kerianne, she-who-can-live-without-her-phone-for-two-weeks-and-claim-shes's-a-ok-with-it. Liar. I really don't care how you feel about it, WHAT ABOUT ME? God, now I have no one to text message when I watch Supernanny. You heartless bitch.

3. HOW DOES THE SHUFFLE BUTTON ON KAZAA WORK? For the love of god, why is it so complicated.

4. I'm going to Great America tomorrow, with Emily, Stephanie and her boyfriend Sean. Opening day actually isn't until Saturday, she got promotional tickets for half the price some magical way, so there'll only be like 3,000 people there. This means no hour waits outside the rollercoasters, ohhhhh yeaaaaaaah. That's my Macho Man Randy Savage impersonation.

5. Emily had a Mary Kay party on Sunday (no, she's not 45) and it was actually a good time. We basically got drunk on Margaret and put on makeup. Who knew foundation was so magical and why am I just discovering this now?

6. I have one week of classes left and then finals. I'm excited in one sense to be done with classes, but that means I have a shitload of shit to do in these next two shitty weeks. I've only gone to 5 classes this week, but goddamnit, I didn't miss bowling and Kurt, prepare to congratulate me - I broke my highest score of 113 and bowled a 115. It was just a freak accident though, my next game was a 75. I think I'm probably the only person to take a bowling class and consistently get worse.

7. My 18 year old cousin Kathleen stayed here last night, with two friends because they were going to a concert here and didn't want to drive home afterwards. She's a cute girl, but we don't really see each other enough because she lives an hour away from me at home, so it was cool that she got to come here, even if she did only give me an hours warning. She had given me money to get vodka for them, but then they didn't want it anymore since they had to leave at 7 am this morning. I put her $20 on the dresser, and told her as she was leaving. In a really over excited voice she goes, "Oh cool, thanks so much Kate!" Um, I didn't just give you a $20, I was just returning the $20 you gave me but didn't spend. This story is definitley not translating well, but I already typed it out so you're stuck with it. Suckers.

8. I work with this kid Ron at the library, who is super nice, but annoys the fuck out of me because he still asks me the stupidest questions, even though he's worked there for 3 months. Today I was sitting at the desk, my back to him, who was sitting at the table. He called my name, I turned around, and he asked, "Do you want some of this milk?" It was one of those little cartons of milk. Who the fuck shares milk? I know he was just trying to be nice, but really Ron, you don't have to share everything with me. Especially not your milk. It's not even like I was staring lustily at his carton of milk either. I wouldn't have even know he was drinking it had he not made me turn around. I don't know what I was expecting out of the same kid who said he "saw me doing my workout." It's called walking to class Ron. "Me" and "working out" don't belong in the same sentence anyways.

9. Speaking of working out, or lack thereof, in my KNPE class we had journals due today, that were supposed to keep track of our workout schedules. Working out doesn't seem so bad when you just make it up. I have to run the 1.5 mile again Tuesday. That I can't make up.

10. Right now the best song in the world is Intimate Secretary by the Ranconteurs. Don't debate me.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I'm A Million Different People From One Day To The Next

Waking up to a good song on the radio makes it so much easier to get up.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Good News

1. I found my graduation dress at the VERY FIRST store I looked in.
2. The Sox are back on track after a semi-shitty start, winning 6 out of their last 7 games.
3. Bible Night was a success. Read about it here.
4. I have three boxes of Crispix.
5. New Gilmore Girls episode tomorrow. Hells yeah bitches.
6. Keri successfully snuck into the bar for her friend's birthday on Thursday.
7. I lost my purse that same night, but Keri is a miracle worker and got it back the next day. Nothing was taken out of it either. Jesus loves me, this I know.
8. I only have three weeks of classes left.
9. I'm going to Six Flags Great America next Friday.
10. I don't have work this weekend.
11. I'm getting an IPod for my birthday/graduation.
12. I went to all of my classes in one day for the first time in three weeks.
13. I have someone I can call about a job when I graduate.
14. Did I mention I got my dress in the first store? Goddamnit I'm awesome.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Now I'm Going To Go Have A Cigarette And Beer In The Thunderstorm

1. Conan O'Brien is coming to Chicago in May, and I applied for tickets the minute he announced how to get them. I still haven't heard anything back and its been about 3 weeks. It couldn't possibly be any worse timing, it being finals/birthday/graduation week, but if I could see Conan on my birthday, I could die happy. Conan, give me tickets, for the love of god. Please.

2. Tomorrow at the library we have a Student Appreciation Party. They show their appreciation by giving us free pizza. "Free pizza" is probably the best two-word combinations in the world, after "free beer". I love my job. Nowhere else would I get paid to read the newspaper, do my homework and drink on Thursday nights. Why can't I just be a library liason for the rest of my life.

3. I think Spring is here, for good. I don't want to jinx it, but this week has been awesome out. This time of the year is the best - people have been stuck inside since November, so the minute it hits 50 degrees, everyone is wearing flip-flops and skirts, driving with their windows rolled down, blaring music. I love living in Chicago, because getting all four seasons really makes me appreciate the warm weather. I don't know if I could live somewhere were it was 80 degrees year round. Sometimes I talk about the weather too much, my roommates make fun of me because I tell them what the weathers going to be like according to my trusty Yahoo! each day, but goddamnit, SOMEONE needs to tell them when there's going to be a chance of PM showers.

4. Last night I had a dream ( I know, I KNOW trying to explain your dreams is stupid because they don't make sense and no one cares, but this will be short, promise) that I met Bob Dylan before a concert of his. Usually he's a pretty stand-offish guy (I totally know because I've met him, like, so many times) but in the dream we totally made out. I MADE OUT WITH BOB DYLAN IN MY DREAM. He gave me his autograph too, and was just the nicest guy in the entire world, joking around and what not. I woke up right after the dream, or so it seemed, and it put me in the best mood for the rest of the day. I've finally learned how to start my day off right: making out with aging rockstars.

5. J.P was jealous he missed out on Russian Night, so we're having Bible Night this Friday. My family is going to celebrate Good Friday by getting drunk and dancing to Michael Jackson. I can think of no other appropriate way to prepare for the rising of our Lord. My mom is going to be Goliath, my Dad is Judas for betraying us by having the firehouse Saturday morning, J.P is Ezekial, and Keri and I are Cain and Abel. Ker, I love you, but I'm going to have to kill you. No offense. Water shall be turned into wine this night, and christ on a crucifix (literally!), I'm excited about it.

6. Exactly a month from right now I'll be celebrating my 2x2nd (can I get a hoo-hah?) birthday. I can't really go out the night of the 12th because graduation is at 9:00 am on the 13th, which sucks ass. I don't even know how I'm going to be able to celebrate anyways, knowing that my life is coming to an end 24 hours later. Every couple of days Emily'll say, "Only 33 more days to graduation" and I'll cover my ears and say "LA LA LA LA LA" because jesus, IT'S COMING UP SO FAST AND I'M KIND OF FREAKING OUT.

7. Degree's Fresh Oxygen deodorant is my lifesaver and I want to marry it.

8. The History Channel has been doing this series called "10 Days that Unexpectedly Changed the World" this past week and I've been obsessed with it. The best so far have been the Battle at Antietam during the Civil War, the assassination of President McKinley, and the letter Einstein wrote to FDR encouraging him to make the atomic bomb. I don't know why it seems weird to me that Einstein was an actual person, who was alive not even 50 years ago. My parents were born before he died in 1955 - weird, yo. I always want to put him in Galileo or Newton's category, being dead for hundreds of years, but nope. Anyways, watch it for the rest of the week from 8-10 pm. Do it because I said so.

9. Last week I bowled a 65, 68 and 70 in class. Now do you see why I get excited about getting 111? It's cool though, cause Coach said I would pass the class anyways for being able to recognize and name Smokey Robinson and Martha Reeves. He just wanted to show off he had met them and had pictures, the senile bastard. Everyday in class he turns the music on, and always puts on some Mo-town and all at once, everyone in the class starts singing the words to My Girl and dancing. I feel like I'm bowling at Rydell High and even though I hate that movie, I love my bowling class and my 80 year old bowling "coach".

10. I'm skipping my classes Thursday and Friday in order to go home and visit Keri for the night before bringing her home Friday. It's going to be awesome because we're both broke and are supposed to go to the bar for her friend's birthday. I hope we go to that free bar where they give you the free drinks all night long for free. Those are my favorite bars. Hurray for Sister's Night.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I Did This Instead Of Write My Paper

Here's a list of books. The titles in bold are books I've read.
The ones in italics are books I'd like to read.
The scored out ones are those I have no intention of ever reading ever in my lifetime.
The ones with a bold ? I've never even heard of.
Those with an asterisk are those I have on my bookshelf but are as yet unread by me.

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Loved it.
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger I'm glad read I read this in high school, when the teacher could explain everything to me. I was too slow to catch onto the symbolism by myself.
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald Loved it, and the movie too. I have a crush on Sam Waterson.
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee So fucking good. I wanted my dad to be Atticus.
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman ?
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling Good lord, I sobbed at the end of this book. I don't think I've ever cried harder at a fictional character dying.
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell Didn't like it in high school, I should reread it.
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien Never. Never ever ever. I read 5 pages one time and hated it.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding Started to one time, don't know why I never finished.
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. Rowling I love all Harry Potter.
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ?
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini Really really REALLY good book. I couldn't put it down, finished it in 2 days.
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold Oh lordy, another one that made me sob. I think because it was partly about sisters, and I have a sister, blah blah but dear lord did I cry. Such a good book.
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut One of my favorite books. I've read it about 8 times, thanks to stealing it from my friend's brother.
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown Jenn won't get off my case about me not reading this yet. I'll get around to it, I swear. Get off my back, bitch.
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk I just read my first Palahniuk book, Survivor, and liked it, so I should read this one.
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson ?
The Secret History - Donna Tartt ?
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte I've never read any of that British literature, like the Bronte sisters or Austen, I guess I was never in the right English classes in high school.
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C. S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides I got this for my mom for her birthday (thanks to the comments on Ms Mac's blog when she did this) and conviently she let me read it first. I just finished it the other night and LOVED it.
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell ?
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien Never ever ever. I have absolutely no desire to read any Tolkien.
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman ?
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
I want to, but I don't know if it'll ever happen.
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert ?

Thanks to Ms Mac, cause I stole this from her and to Jenn who taught me how to do this. But I hate people who do this and promise to never ever do this again.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Sometimes I Need A Revelation

I signed up to take the Chicago Fire Department test today, the first one they've had years. If I pass and do better than Keri and J.P I will totally be Dad's favorite. Then I'll get something totally awesome, like his Pink cd, in his will.

I also signed up to take the Jeopardy test online last week. I'm sure I wouldn't pass, but it wouldn't hurt to try anyways. I was supposed to take it at 8 pm Wednesday night. I didn't remember until 10:30, when it was already too late to take it. THIS IS WHY I NEED TO WRITE SHIT DOWN.

The White Sox seasons opener was today, against the Indians. There was a rain delay for 3 hours, but it finally started up again around 11 pm. And they won 10-4. Are we going to win the World Series again? You bet your fucking ass we are.

Last night I spilled a beer on my keyoboard. I've spilled a lot of things on this keyboard in the past four years, but I'm honestly surprised it took me this long to spill a beer on it. Now the letters G and H stick whenver I go to type them. How much is a new keyboard? On a good note though, I finally found the left side Ctrl button that I had popped off over a year ago. Turns out all you have to do is pick up things and look under them to find what you are looking for. And you thought I hadn't learned anything in college.

Today I went shopping for food and they didn't have Crispix OR Wheaties. What is this world coming to?

In my KNPE 100 class (basically a health class) we're going to be measuring our body fat on Thursday. I have never been so glad to be taking a class with Emily than before because I'd really like to keep it on the dl that I'm 97% body fat. Not that they can't tell but jesus. Thank god for Emily. I thought this class was going to be a blow off but then I learned we had to run a mile and a half in class. Twice. I told my teacher to have an ambulance on hand incase I collapsed, but she just laughed at me. I didn't collapse the first time we did it in February, but goddamnit I will in May just to prove her wrong.

And if you're keeping track, as Kurt already pointed out to me on Jenn's blog:
- I am impressed with my 111 bowling score.
- I was happy with my 69% test grade.
- Running a mile and a half is my worst nightmare.

World's Biggest Underachiever and Lazyass, right here. What now.