Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Annoyed, My Brother Is A Bastard, Accents, Laziness, Shiloh

My brother burned me a cd I just bought him for his birthday (yeah it was January 14th, get off my back about it J), The Ranconteurs' Broken Boy Solider, and because it's burned it doesn't have the song titles on it when I play it on the computer. This is thouroghly annoying the shit out of me right now. Yeah I know I could look it up but I don't want to.

Speaking of my brother, I had this conversation with him about 2 hours ago.

J.P: Whad you have to eat?
Me: Christ where do I start... some ice cream, cantaloupe, strawberries....you could make a sandwich, there's lunchmeat in there.
J: I know, but I don't like turkey.
M: Are you serious? There's leftover baked beans in there, or you could have a bowl of cereal....oh my god I sound like Mom. DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN.
J: Cause you're getting so old.
M: Fuck you.

I don't know which I was madder about, me realizing I sounded exactly like my mom rattling off all the things to eat in the fridge or being accused of being old. We'll see how my being old comes into handy for you the next time you ask me to buy you beer. MUUUUUUULTI-TASKING.

Last Tuesday at the bar I met a guy, Patrick, from Northern Ireland. I love accents of any kind, especially Irish ones, but I could not understand a goddamn word that came out of his mouth. I must have asked him to repeat everything at least 3 times, and even then I wouldn't understand and would kind of do a half smile and nod or laugh, while thinking "please for the love of god I hope you're not asking me 'What do you do' or 'how old are you?'. I thought maybe it was just because we were drunk, but no, on the phone it was even worse. It made me wonder if I was the idiot (the answer was of course) because he never asked me to repeat anything 64 times. Or maybe he just wasn't listening anyways, but bottom line: I like the accent as long as it doesn't give me a panic attack even thinking about having a conversation with you.

My graduation party is this coming Saturday and I am dreading answering "So what are you going to do now?" 359 times because I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING. Yeah I have a job for the moment back at the UPS Store, but I feel like a giantass loser saying that, which is totally justified because saying you're back at the place you worked at in high school makes you feel pretty small. I can't even bitch though, because it's my fault, and I totally realize that, but wah wah it's still annoying. Maybe a normal person would use that was motivation, but not me. I'm still waiting for that perfect job to fall into my lap without me doing any work to get it. God, who would have thought it would be taking this long.

ANGELINA AND BRAD FINALLY HAD THE BABY. It's sad how complete my life is now.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Baseball Jargon No One Will Care About

Today the White Sox played the Oakland A's and it was the first time Frank Thomas was going to be back at Comiskey Park as an opposing player, after being on the Sox for his first 16 years. I was honestly worried (I'm queer) about how the Sox fans at the park were going to react to him, whether they would boo or cheer him. A couple weeks ago the Sox's Big Hurt replacement, Jim Thome, played in Cleveland for the first time since he was traded from there to the Phillies and the crowd booed him, and it sucked to watch because he's a good guy who never said anything bad about the team he played for 13 years for (Hawk, the Sox announcer said, "DJ, am I missing something here? Did Thome say something bad about this town when he left?" and my brother has made me repeat it about 54 times because it was funny and you totally had to be there nevermind). So anyways, Frank steps up to bat, and the whole stadium cheers and gives him a standing ovation with a million signs made saying "The House the Big Hurt Built" and other stupid shit like that, and it was awesome. He even took off his helmet and waved it to the crowd to acknowledge all the cheering, which I loved. I don't know why I was so worried, but what they did in the stadium was going to reflect every other Sox fan, and I didn't want us to be known as a group of douche bags. I was a little pissed at Frank (we're on a first name basis) when he left because he didn't really leave on a high note, and that made me sad because he was my favorite player for the longest time growing up. I'm totally going on too long about this, but bottom line, I was proud to be a Sox fan today. They might have booed him later, but that's only because he hit 2 home runs and a single, so it was warrented. Bastard. Sox fans - we love you until you almost make us lose, but then when we come back in the 10th inning because of a Pablo Ozuna bunt, we still love you. Not to get specific or anything. Go Sox.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


1. My IPod is delightful. The love of my life. Probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. I have conversations while listening to it, Keri and I go outside and have a cigarette sharing the earphones (c'mon, you gotta when "A Whole New World" or Rufus singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" comes on), while reading my new book and pretty much everywhere else. I mean I knew it was going to be awesome but not THIS AWESOME. God I'm obsessed.

2. Holy shit, I just realized the enter key works now. Plus we have a new computer at home with a CABLE CONNECTION. But most importantly THE ENTER KEY WORKS. I just got unnessecarily excited.

3. So I graduated on Saturday, but didn't find out my grades until today, and was seriously worried about failing two of my classes, especially Anthropology. I was trying to prep my parents about that happening, but praise the lord, that wasn't even nessecary. I got a D, and immediatley called my dad and mom to give them the good news. It probably would have been better if either of them had picked up. I've never been prouder of a D and I'm not ashamed to admit it(I got a B in Bowling, I know you're all curious). I was more excited today after seeing my grades than I was Saturday. Okay not really, but now I feel like I can REALLY celebrate.

4. My birthday was pretty good too, Thursday night was fun, it being kind of the last hurrah with my friends at NIU. Then Keri and I were party animals and stayed in and drank a little on Friday (shut up, I had to be up at 6:30) with my brother and mom too, who if you're wondering "is not a fan of Keystone". Sorry I didn't splurge on some Natty Light like J.P did when you drank with him at his frat ( yeah I said it. FRAT) last week. We can't all be ballas.

5. I've been home for 4 days and already I want to assasinate my mom. Today she walked into the kitchen and said to my brother, "COULD YOU HAVE ANYMORE CABINET DOORS OPEN?" I mean, I can't believe he has no idea how expensive or dangerous open cabinet doors are. SOMEBODY COULD POKE THEIR EYE OUT. Worst of all, there's no light at the end of the tunnel this time. I'm probably home for at least a year, which I'm thinking is the minimun and it better be the maximun too. For the sake of my mom's livelihood. And my sanity.

6. I haven't quit smoking yet but I'm working on it. My friend Diana however claims to have quit, but bummed 6 from me last night. That is not how it works. Just because you're too cheap to support your habit does not mean I have to start picking up the tab. I don't know if she thinks this is going to happen all summer, but it is not. It most definitley is not.

7. I was just listening to my ipod (surprise!) and talking to Jenn at the same time and that audioblog she did of me talking when I was drunk forever ago came on. I have no idea how it got on my ipod or even how to get rid of it. Holy shit that was weird. And the timing too. Crazy man.

8. Emily's mom and stepdad gave me a $25 gift certificate to Border's for graduation, which was the perfect present for me. I ended up getting two books (The Red Tent and My Sister's Keeper, if you care, which I know you don't) but while there the book The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini was everywhere. I read it in December and now it's probably one of my favorite books ever. I have a lot of favorite books, but for some reason, just seeing it made me wish I had never read it so I could enjoy it and love it all over again for the first time. That sounds weird (and kind of creepy) but it was a fucking good book. I've felt this way about other books, but never as much with this one. And I'm going to stop now. But read The Kite Runner before I kill you.

9. Starting November 13th I owe the government $16,000. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I was expecting $20,000. Because $16,000 is totally chump change.

10. Dude, I'm a 22 year old college gradaute. It was a good weekend.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006

The One Where She Goes On and On and On and On

I've only used one pen all semester, I actually haven't lost it, no one borrowed it and never returned it, and it didn't run out of ink. I've thought about it all semester (I think about stupid shit), and wondered how long it was going to last. As I was in my last class of my college life Thursday afternoon, filling out the last teacher evaluation of my college life, the pen ran out of ink. Coincidence? I think not.

Thursday was the big night out here, since no one had classes Friday. I ended up losing my roommates in the crowded bar, but found my friends from my bowling class shortly after. A bunch of us when back to her place, in the complete opposite direction of my place, and I ended up sleeping over there on one of the couches. I never thought to call my roommates to tell them I wasn't coming home, because, well they're not my parents. I woke up in the morning to a voicemail from Carly and two text messages from Emily, asking where I was, I was worrying them, and to call them as soon as possible. This is going to sound queer, but to know that they were both so worried about me made me realize I have the best roommates. And to think that we randomly found Carly to live through an ad in the newspaper. A random roommate from freshman year and a random newspaper ad-answerer were now people that worried about me when I didn't come home. How sweet it is to be loved by you.

Emily and I have drank a lot this past week (and not one sleep-walking episode!), every day except for Wednesday. As she put it, "I'm finally the roommate you always wanted." It only took you four years.

On Friday I saw my friend Susan at the bar, and she asked me old I was. I said 21, and she goes, "Oh, I want to introduce you to my cousin, he's 30 years old." Jesus, how old did you think I was Susan? I mean, not like 30's THAT old, but still. So him and I were talking, and I asked if he was a Cubs or Sox fan, and he gave some bullshit that he's a "Chicago fan", not that into baseball, football is his thing. He asked me, and I said Sox (Southsiiiiide reprsent) and that the game today made me angry, we came so close in the 9th, but then ended up losing and I "didn't want to talk about it." The way I said it, I was totally kidding, but Susan told me later he thought he blew his chances with me because I said that. Then I realized that maybe people do take seriously what I say and that I should be careful so I don't come off bitchy, but c'mon. He was shorter than me anways.

My mom told me they made the invitations for my party the other day, and they put a picture of me on my first day of kindergarden on it. Thanks mom. I was telling her how I have a take home final due Tuesday, and I haven't read either of the three books for it. She says, "Geez Kate, you gotta get your act together, you can't be waiting til the last second to do all this stuff." It's a little too late for the stop-procrastinating spchel (is that a word? I totally spelled it wrong, what now) Mom. I've gotten through 16 years of school just fine. Things ain't gonna change the last week.

Conan starts his Chicago shows tomorrow and I still never got tickets. Stupid bastard.

I'm totally going to Lollapalooza this summer with Keri to see the Frames and a shitload of other bands. And if Bill goes, I get to meet him and make Jenn totally jealous. I'm also going to this thing called Summer Camp with some friends from home over Memorial Day weekend. Finding out they would have showers was the selling point for me because no way am I going camping for four days without showering. I wasn't going to go to save money for Lollapalooza, but then my friends threatened to never talk to me again, so I guess I have no other choice.

I'll stop now regalling (is that the right word? probably not) you all with lame ass stories and start studying. Lastly though, some things people have searched for and found my blog through: "little sister bigger boobs" (please contact me, person - we can share the same sob story), "girl give me your phone no i want to fuck you" (I don't even want to ask), "a clockwork orange symbolism milk" (sorry, don't know how to help you out there), "I want someone to rub my feet" (no) and "i want the world of hurray potter" (twice no less, and that is not as typo. sorry, never heard of 'hurray' potter).

This week I turn 22 and graduate college all within 24 hours. Jesus christ, somebody get me a Xanax.