Thursday, December 23, 2004

I Need Some New Lipgloss

I just dyed my hair back to my normal color, a boring brown, and now I smell weird. Just in case you all were wondering. I didn't want to blog tonight because I'm freezing balls in my basement, but I read Jenn's post, so now I am. Consider this your Christmas present because god knows I'm too broke to actually buy you anything. I went shopping today to look for a shirt and shoes for New Years Eve, and ended up buying some thongs for Keri (that's going to be fun to open in front of Dad) and some earrings. Exactly what I needed. So now I have the earrings for New Years, I should be all set. I'm going with Keri and her friends to Western Michigan University for New Years Eve and I'm really excited. We were talking about it, and realized we can't even remember the last time we hung out on New Years together. Probably not in at least 5 or 6 years. That's 5 or 6 years too long so we're making up for it this year. Watch out, the O'D sisters are going to be tearing it up that night. Good lord I'm excited. Once I find the shoes and shirt to complete my outfit, I'll be even more excited. Woot woo. New paragraph. Last night I was out for coffee with Megan and we decided that we need to go on a trip as a "last hurrah" when we graduate college before we go into the real world. It's now offcially decided that we are going to Jamaica for a week the summer we graduate. We were trying to come up with a name for it, and calling it the "Last Hurrah" made it sound like we were dying as soon as we graduate, so we were trying to incorporate some Bob Marley into the name. We decided on "We Be Jammin'" as the name. That way we can go, "We Be Jammin' in only 4 more months!" We're such clever girls. I thought it was great anyways. And we got really excited about being 21 this summer and being able to go to the bar. Hopefully we won't be going out for coffee 93 times a week anymore, we'll spend those 93 times at the bar instead. I don't know why I think I'm going to be rich and able to afford going to the bars all the time, but don't burst my bubble. NP. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'm sick of working, is it time to go back to school yet? I don't have work Christmas Eve though, and tomorrow night I'm going to a party, so I'm fuckass excited about that. When I was working at the other UPS Store my boss owns on Monday, I got to witness this big fat guy walk into a glass door. Good lord, I almost pee'd myself I was laughing so hard. Thank god I was outside having a cigarette, and he was going into the store, so I got to laugh as long and as hard as I wanted to. So far that's been the highlight of this vacation. Why other people's pain is so funny to me I'll never know. Ok, I'm grinding my teeth because it's so cold down here, if that makes any sense, so I'm outta here. Not sure if I'll post before Christmas again, but I'll send everyone whos cellphone number I have a text message on Christmas just to let you know you're special. So fuckin' special. Cause I'm a creep. Shit, I have work in a few hours and I'm all hyped up on coffee. Someone give me some.....haha, ok, I just asked my brother, "What's a pill that keeps you awake, like No-Doz keeps you up? What knocks you out?" and he goes, "I don't know, Yes-Doz?" Sorry, probably had to be here, but it made me laugh. Anyways, someone get me some Yes-Doz. Pronto, bitches.

Monday, December 20, 2004

I'm Hungry

Well helloooooo there. I know I know it's been years since I've updated and I really have no excuse. Mainly, I'm just lazy. All I've been doing is working and sleeping lately. And hanging out with friends, but I don't want to talk about them because they annoy me and I just want to go back to school. I'm having a good time having Keri home though. And my mom - we've been getting along fabulously. Well not that good, but still. I can't believe it's less than a week until Christmas. I should believe it though because at work I've probably boxed up and sent out 1000 presents by now. Just to show you what kind of people work in UPS Stores - I was putting bubble wrap on this small statue thing, it rolled off the counter, broke in two pieces and I wrapped it back up and put it in the box broken. I hope I don't answer the phone when that lady calls. Now where's my Employee of the Month award bitches? Ok, for some reason the "enter" key is not working when I'm typing this, so I can't make a new paragraph and it's really annoying me. Just so you know, it's supposed to be a new paragraph right now. It's 11:39 pm right now, and I have to be up at 4:45 am tomorrow morning to drive my Dad to the firehouse in order to be able to take the car to work. Normally it's not a problem because it only takes 10 minutes to get to work, so someone just drops me off if I can't take the car, but I have to go to the other store my boss owns and work there, which is an hour away. So I have to be up at 5, drive him to work, the go to work from 11-7, then drive back downtown to drop the car off for my dad to drive home. Tomorrow is going to be great and not tiring at all. I can't wait. Especailly since I'm not tired at all right now and am only going to get about 3 hours of sleep. Enough whining for you? New paragraph. I really have not done any thing fun at home. Haven't been drunk. Haven't gone to a party. I want to go back to school. My best friend Megan just got home 2 days ago and I went out to eat with her and her boyfriend on Friday, then back to her house with them. They decided to fight basically the entire night, making things just a tab uncomfortable for me all night. Why do they always do that to me? I mean christ, make me the third wheel, and then get mad at each other over a game of Outburst, it's wodnerful. Honestly, he got mad because Megan jokingly, and for real, it was very obvious, called him a fruitcake. Are you kidding me? Grow some balls you pansy. You cry at fruitcake? I wanted to shoot him. And her for that matter. Great times at home. New paragraph. I'm almsot done with shopping. I really only had to buy for my parents and we got the hot air balloon ride certificates in the mail already, so that takes care of that. I want to get something small for Keri and J.P, so I just have to take care of that and then I'm really done. I really wish you all could see the scrapbook Keri made for my mom. Even though none of you obviously know her, you would get a kick out of it, it's great. Ok, I'm drawing a blank on what to write about now, so I'm outta here. I didn't comment on anyones post, I aplogize, but I will later this week. Bill, you are blogging your little heart out and I love it. That picture of you when you were 5 was the cutest ever, fo real Brummy. And you look like a sexy mofo in that other one. Ma, I talk to you enough, I don't even need to comment. It was lovely catching up with both of you today, even if you did make me miss the first 10 minutes of Desperate Housewives. It was worth it, you bitches. I swear I won't make as long between this post and my next one, but just incase, have a very merry Christmas, and a happy New Year, let's hope it's a good one, without any fear (is that even the right words?) Goddamnit, why do I have the Melissa Etheridge version in my head and not the John Lennon one. Last note - Bill, Napoleon is on DVD Tuesday. Rent it or buy it, whatever, and then call me and tell me how much you loved it. Do it or I'll kill you. Merry Christmas, bitches.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Do You Believe In What You See?

Hey motherfuckers. I don't have school for six weeks. I had to turn in my last final today, a three page paper I did in two hours. That's quality work. It was quite possibly the shittiest paper I have ever written, but I don't give a fuck. We'll see how much longer I keep up the hardass image of "I don't care about school" when the grades roll in, but I'm going with it for now. I wish I could sit around on my fat ass all day over break, but I have to trade having class at 2:00 four days a week for working basically a fulltime job back at The UPS Store. Now school really isn't sounding so bad anymore.

Emily keeps complaining that she's going to be so bored over break because even though she has two jobs, she really doesn't work that much at either one of them. It's funny to me to hear people say "I'm so bored, I wish I worked more. I can't stand just laying around all day." It's like these people have something in them called "motivation." I'm really not even sure what that word means because I have none of it. No job? Fuck yeah bitch. No school? Sweetass. Sit on my ass all day and do nothing? Sounds like the life to me. I have this nagging feeling that someday, having none of this so-called "motivation" is going to fuck me over. I can just imagine the conversation between me and my parents now.

Mom: Kate, you graduated school 5 years ago. Are you planning on getting a job and oh say, moving out anytime soon? Your father and I were really looking forward to that empty nest sometime soon.
Me: (I am now morbidly obese, live in the basement and eat a diet consisting solely of Cheetos) Ehh, not really. I'm kinda tired today. I think I'm going to take a nap.
Dad: But you just got up two hours ago. And really? You don't want to find a job and move out? Really?
Me: Well maybe I can look tomorrow, but a Real World:Dover marathon is on, so I'm not making any promises. Get off my back about it anyways. I do what I want, bitches.

Ok, so that conversation with my parents would not go anything like that at all. They plan on moving to Michigan as soon as J.P graduates college and would never be that nice to me about getting a job. It would go more along the lines of "Go out and get a goddamn job or we'll kill you. I swear to god we'll kill you." Hugs and kisses to you both too. They really are a loving duo, I swear.

I mentioned before that J.P, Keri and I were getting our mom and dad a ride in a hot air balloon for Christmas. My brother was supposed to put the money in my account the other day and was going to let me know when he did so. He did that by leaving me an IM saying "The eagle has landed. But check first", meaning make sure the money is in there before ordering it. I thought this was really funny because, as I've said before, I get a kick out of lame things. I was trying to think of something funny to say back to him, so a few hours later I was talking to him (he left me the IM while I was at class) and I said back, "The snake has been spotted." He was like, "What? What the hell does that mean?" C'mon you bastard. You told me "the eagle has landed" and I got what that meant. You mean you can't figure out what"the snake has been spotted" meant? Do you have to make me feel like a dumbass? It means I got the money, asshole. I'm done trying to be funny to other people because it's obvious I only amuse myself.

Sorry, lame story. It's the best I've got today.

Here are some songs you absolutely have to download, from the Garden State soundtrack.
- In the Waiting Line by Zero 7
- Let Go by Frou Frou
- Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine
- The Only Living Boy in New York by Simon and Garfunkel
- One of These Things First by Nick Drake
- New Slang by The Shins
- Caring is Creepy by The Shins

Jenn, I think you would really like the Zero 7 song because it sounds Portishead-y to me. Keep in mind I've only heard a handful of Portishead songs, but goddamnit, we need to finally find a song we both love. So get on it bitch and tell me if you like it or not. Do it already!

Well I think this is goodbye for me. Don't cry, I promise I'll still post sporadically. It is practically below freezing in my basement though, just keep that in mind if you're wondering why I'm not updating. I bet I'm so bored over break I post every day, but shut up about it already and pretend you're going to miss me. And don't think that just because I'm leaving tomorrow that you don't have to comment on this post. I'll be checking this before the mom comes to pick me up, thank you very much. Don't forget I have a phone too, so text messages and phone calls will be considered invaluable to me. You're all invaluable in my book, bitches.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Wonderful, Absolutely Wonderful

Even though I just saw one of the best movies ever, I'm crabby. Very goddamn crabby. For no reason at all. But I'll pretend I'm not, and tell you about this wonderful, absolutely wonderful movie that I saw tonight.

Garden State. I had wanted to see this movie when it came out, but it was in limited release or whatever, so I never got around to it. Then surprisely it came to our Campus Cinema, so Emily and I went tonight. And this time, it was $2.50 well spent (as opposed to Shark Tale). The movie was fucking vermillion (I'm pretending it's catching on). It's a comedy, drama and love story all wrapped up in one. It's not a laugh-hysterically-at-things movie, but there are funny parts. But it's not too serious to where you have to bring Kleenex with. I, for the record only teared up once. And the soundtrack, good lord was the soundtrack glorious. Absolutely glorious. I can't even do this film justice, all I know is I want to be Sam (Natalie Portnam) and Andrew (Zach Braff). Not just either one of them, I want to be both of them. I don't care if that doesn't makes sense, I don't feel like explaining myself. But really kids, you all have to see this movie. I think it comes out on DVD this month and I am definitely buying it. That Best Buy gift certificate my godmother always get me will really come in handy this year. I'm buying it before Napoleon Dynamite, if that gives any of you a clue as to how much I liked it. I wanted to watch it again right after I saw it, but listening to the soundtrack will have to do for now. Why are you still reading this? Go see it!

Even though none of you should be reading this because you're all running out to see the movie I so magically described, I have some good news (for me at least, don't get excited). Finals week is just about done. I have a paper due tomorrow at 6:00 that I haven't done yet, but I'm not worried about that, it's only a 3-pager. Yesterday, after two of my finals, I went to the library from 5 - 11 pm to do a project I so smartly put off until the last second. I think I had carpal tunnel syndrome by the time I got done, but goddamn did it feel wonderful, absolutely wonderful to be done. My night wasn't over yet though, when I go home I still had to start studying for my final that I had today at 4:00 pm. I didn't get much studying done last night because I was dead tired, so instead I decided to go to bed early so I could wake up at 7:30 am and go to the library to study more. Do you need me to repeat that last sentence for you? I went to bed early, in order to voluntarily get up at 7:30 AM to study in the library. I still can't believe it. Write it down bitches, because it's never happened before, and it's never going to happen again. I stayed at the library until 10:00 when Emjo left for her test, but I couldn't sit there any longer, so I went to the Junction (the place that didn't hire me) to go get some coffee and study there. I was home by noon, but couldn't bring myself to study anymore, so I did sporadically for the next four hours, until the time came to take the exam. I don't think I did great, but decently enough for waiting to cram 2 months of Middle Eastern politics into my head 8 hours before the test. Anyone want to know the history of Egypt, Israel, Syria, Palestine and Saudi Arabia from 1948 on? I know some of you are just itching to ask me a question. Let me pretend to be smart for one goddamn minute, please.

Two more nights and then I'm home for six weeks. Two more nights, and then I'm home for six fucking weeks. I can't believe it. Another semester, finito. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. I don't know why I act surprised whenever a year or a semester goes by though, because I always have the same reaction. "Good lord, it's over already? But it just started." You'd think I'd be used to it now, but nope. But I guess everyone bitches about how fast time goes. It's like when Emily said the other day, "I just hate falling. It hurts." Really Emily? You hate falling? How bizarre! You are unique in having that feeling! Everyone else I know just LOVES falling. Of course everyone hates falling. Just like how everyone realizes time goes by fast when we're not thinking it does. What the fuck am I talking about anymore? This doesn't even make sense. I'm going to move on.

I'm still crabby. Even crabbier if that's possible. I think it started earlier when I was sitting in my room, and Emily and Carly both come in and sit on my bed, talking. At first I was fine, but then they wouldn't leave. Not that I was doing anything that required them to leave, but still. Even when I went outside to have a cigarette, here they are, still sitting in here. Get out bitches. Not like they never sit in my room, but for some reason it was just annoying the fuck out of me. It reminded me of the dorms when someone would come and sit in our room, over staying their welcome, when all Emily and I wanted to do was go to bed. Of course I could have just told both of them I had to do something, but instead I decided to sit here, not talking, hoping they would get the hint. I probably sound like a giant douche bag, being crabby just because my friends are in my room, but that's becasue I am a giant douche bag. Can't be in a good mood everyday.

I do believe it is time to go cut my itchy wrists, thank you very much. But please, ignore everything else I said, besides the paragraph about Garden State. The movie will put you in a wonderful, absolutely wonderful mood. Even though mine only lasted for an hour. But still. Go fucking see it. And then love me for recommending it. You're welcome, bitches.

Another quick note while I thought of it. I hate when people say, "What the shit?" No. It's either "What the fuck?" or "Holy shit" or even "What the hell?" NOT "what the shit". It just sounds stupid. Ok, I'm going to bed.

Monday, December 06, 2004

He Not Busy Being Born Is Busy Dying

I think I had the boringest weekend ever. Not at any point did I get out of my pajamas, put on makeup or even attempt to make plans to go out. I pretended that I was going to study all weekend, but I knew that wouldn't happen. And of course, it didn't. Instead I just keep dreading tomorrow because I'm going to have to do my project I keep bitching about and study for my hardest final. I'm really looking forward to it.

So during my fun filled weekend I managed to squeeze in some time to Google myself. I'm a loser, I know, and I don't know why I thought I would be on the internet for anything in the first place. Turns out there's a lot of people with my name out there. They pretty much broken down into three categories:
1.) The Katie who goes to Juanita College, aka Bill's school. She apparently is involved in every goddamn activity at that school and is in Google about 500 times.
2.) Random Katie's with my last name who live in Ireland. There's a bajillion of them.
3.) The Katie who died in the fire in Rhode Island at the Great White concert. Did you know I died there? Me either. Poor girl.

I was really hoping to find myself on the internet at least once, but nope. Maybe it would help to not have such a common first and last name. Or I just need to do something really exciting that puts me in the papers. Ideas anyone?

So thanks to all of your wonderful suggestions, I finally figured out what to get Emily for her 21st birthday. She has this charm bracelet called Zoppini, and I'm going to get her a charm to put on it with the intials of our school (she said she wanted this, I didn't just pull it out of my ass). While I was deciding what charm to get her, I was going through the list of them, and they have some weird ass charms. For example, you could get a block of cheese on the charm, or the name of your state. I thought it was funny when I saw that the block of cheese charm was out of stock. Then a minute later I was going through the states, and the Wisconsin charm was out of stock too. Coincidence? I think not. Either the Cheeseheads up north are really fond of these Zoppini charms or cheese is a popular thing to declare your love for on your charm bracelet. I had no idea.

Tonight was the Bob Dylan interview on 60 minutes. I was hoping the interview was going to be the whole 60 minutes, but no such luck. It was still a great interview though. I had about 7 or 8 people either call me or leave me messages on AIM throughout the week to tell me about the interview. While the interview was on today, my phone rang, and I could tell it was Keri by the ring. I picked it up saying, "You'll have to call me back, Dylan is on now." She was like, "Ok, I just wanted to make sure you're watching it!" Make sure I was watching it? Good lord lady, I've had to on the calender ever since I heard about it. I do lovethough how people who know me think of me everytime they hear something about Dylan. Some people even tell me "I heard a Dylan song on the radio yesterday." Sad part is, I get excited each time and ask too enthusiastically, "Really? Which one?" That tells me that I definitely talk about Bobby D way too much, but hey, we all have our obsessions, don't we? I'm going to do a Dylan post soon about how I got obsessed with him. I shouldn't have told you all that, now you'll all be waiting on the edge of your seats for that post. Right?

Jenn, I would like to thank you for the best compliemnt anyone has every given me. You compared my pathetic attempt of a blog to THEE Jason Mulgrew's blog. I think you might be going a bit overboard though. No one comes close to Jason's blog, no one. Thanks though! That comment made my day. You're the best ho ever and I love you!

Ariel, perfect use of the word vermillion. I think you're the most vermillion mermaid around!

Did any of you ever watch the show Arrested Development? I never caught it until this year, and now I'm sad I missed the whole first season. It is the funniest show and you all have to watch it next Sunday. It's on Fox at 7:30 Central time. Don't miss it, bitches.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

That Song Sure Is Vermillion!

What the hell Blogger? I've been trying to write a goddamn post for the past 30 minutes and you wouldn't let me. You know I don't have enough patience for this shit. I wish I was tired right now because I'm bored out of my mind, but I think maybe, just MAYBE the two glasses of Pepsi and cup of coffee I had a little bit earlier have something to do with this lack of tiredness. It's possible.

I didn't change out of my pajamas all day. That means I can definitly check today off as a success. I went to go get cigarettes earlier around 10:00 pm in my sweatpants and hoodie. Everyone else there was all dressed up going out for the night. I fit right in. I spent $12 at the gas station. $12? What's wrong with me? I go in for cigarettes, and I come out with 2 packs of P-Funks, a goddamn liter a' cola, some chips and two Charleston Chews (not both for me, mind you. One was for Emily's power studying). This money I got is going to be gone before I know. Which is great considering I owe Beebs $90 for our parents Christmas present, $40 to Kerianne for the Rufus ticket she so kindly bought for me and $60 to my mom for shoes I'm getting and other money I borrowed. I also need to buy Emily a 21st birthday present (ideas? anyone? please help a bitch out here. I'm desperate) and a small Christmas present for J.P and Keri even though we swore off presents to each other. Don't you wish I was your big sister?

One of my annoying habits as Emily's roommate is saying things that I know will either freak her out or piss her off. Like when she thought that a strand of thread on her floor was a bug. She made me "inspect" it, and realizing it's just thread, I scream "It's a spider!" (which she is deathly afraid of). She took off running when I said that. Or when she was avoiding this guy Don because she didn't want to use her her fake ID to buy him beer with her birthday so close. He has a habit of just stopping by sometimes and Emily was afraid he was going to do that. I'm outside on the balconey have a cigarette and I say "Oh shit, Miller's walking down the parking lot." I just love seeing the reaction of horror on her face for that split second before I start laughing and she knows I'm lying. This backfired one time when I saw the mouse for the first time and went hysterical. She said, "I thought you were kidding at first because you always fuck around like that, but then I could see the look of horror on your face. And you always put your hand over your mouth when you're scared and you were doing that, so I knew you weren't kidding." Ok, anyways, this is probably not funny to you, I'm sure it's one of those "you had to be theres", but I have a point. Today I did that to her, replying to her question of "My debit card will work, right? I never use it" saying "Probably not. You know how bad your credit is." I laughed at this (because I am very VERY lame and easily amused by myself) and turned around to go into my room, smashing into the wall, and breaking my foot on the goddamn wicker basket in our hallway that holds the People magazines. Good lord did it hurt. I think Emily laughed for a good 10 minutes, at least. I was in agony for those same 10 minutes. My toe still hurts. Lesson learned? Stop trying to be a smartass. You aren't funny and only amuse yourself. Then you smash into walls. Not fun at all kids, not fun at all.

What a pointless story, huh? I think I bored myself even typing all that out.

Some last comments:
- Hey Bill, thanks so much for that song! I fucking loved it and can't wait to tell all my closet friends about it! Just name the favor buddy, and you got it. I definitly owe you one.
- I found the song by myself, asshole. But really, thanks for following through on what you say you're going to do. Thanks a lot.
- Jenn I hope you got some much needed sleep. You were starting to scare me earlier. You made me feel really funny though because you were going bonkers at everything I said. And remember, my eyes and ears are here for you anytime lady.
- Good lord do I regret staying in tonight. I'm going out tomorrow, come hell or high water.
- I'm seeing Garden State with Emjo on Tuesday. It's at the Campus Cinema. Fuck yeah bitches.
- After Wednesday night, I will be home free of school for 6 weeks. But before I can start the celebration, I have 3 finals, one paper due and one project due that I haven't started yet. Anyone like to trade lives for a week? Anyone? It's for a new show called College Kid-Swap. You get to live in your own apartment with the fabulous Emjo, eat spaghettios 5 nights a week, take my finals for me, watch a lot of tv and just have tons and tons of college life fun! Ignore the small print.
- I hate Brooke Shields. With a bloody passion. I think she is ugly and cannot stand her eyebrows. However, she did manage to have one of the cutest baby girls ever (besides Brittney I mean). I really hope, for Rowan's sake, those eyebrows aren't inherited.
- One last thing to Bill: I bet I can pronouce those weird PA (pah) town names right. And I won't make you give me the $5 if you can tell me why it's the Windy City. Bring it on, bitch.
- Would someone like to teach me how you link something in your blog, but change the address into a word? Like if I wanted to show you the new coat I'm getting, I could link it with the word(s) "Sgt. Pepper"? You know what I'm saying? Then I could be all cool and tech-savvy. Or something.
- My new favorite word: vermillion. It means a reddish-orangeish hue, so I guess you could describe a sunset as vermillion. Now if that isn't a word that comes up in everyday conversation, I don't know what is. Download the song Vermillion by The Album Leaf. It's an instrumental and I feel like I should be on Ectsacy with a glow stick dancing to it (or maybe I don't know the rave world like I think I do), but goddamn is it catchy. I love it.
- I think I'm going to make up my own definition for vermillion since I can't use it that often. How about if vermillion means "the bees knees" or "the hippest thing around" or "motherfucking awesome"? Much better.

I'm outta heeeeeeeeeeeeere. Bitches.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Classy Is My Middle Name

I just spilled some pink lemonade all over my desk. And by "desk" I mean card table. I really am one classy bitch. Some other things that make me really classy:

- When Keri came up to visit, I asked her to bring me some conditioner because I didn't have any more. I guess they only had one bottle of it at home and my mom didn't want to give it up. So what bright idea does she come up with? Getting an old, empty ketchup bottle and pouring some conditioner in there. Now it looks like I eat French fries in the shower.
- I made out with an 18 year old boy at a party last night. Nothing classier than making out in front of 100 other people, right? I feel like I'm in high school saying "making out" so much. Is there a better word for it?
- I wear a coat appropriate namely Gay Pride. Not The Gay Pride. Just Gay Pride. You wouldn't call me The Katie, would you? Didn't think so.
- I am obsessed with Maury Povich. Every damn time, I'm 100% POSITIVE that Tyrone is most definitly Taniesha's babies daddy, but then Maury says, "Tyrone, you are NOT the father." Taniesha swore up and down she never slept around, but it's always the ones you wouldn't suspect that really are the sluts.
- I prefer beer to any other achohol. Arent't I supposed to like the fruity drinks or something? Last night though, I had to drink PBR. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a beer snob, I'll drink anything you hand me, but holy shit, that stuff was disgusting. Tasted fine after 3 or 4 cups though.
- I repeatedly hit my friend Chuck in the balls last night with my purse. It was funny to me until the last time I hit him, then my phone went flying. I thought I broke it because none of the buttons were working, but it's fine this morning. I need to learn some manners. No more hitting gentlemen in the balls. Promise.
- I will (and do) burp in front of anyone. I don't discriminate.

In other words, I had a great Thursday night. I was suppposed to get up at 11 to turn in some homework and go to a review session for a test, but of course I ended up sleeping until 1:30. Why do I not even care that I didn't hand in the homework I worked on for two hours. I'm just so goddamn lazy that I didn't want to walk all the way to campus just to hand in homework, even I'm sure I could have handed it in 2 hours late. Somebody really needs to light a fire under my ass to get me moving. Otherwise I get nothing accomplished. Is there a 12 step program for procrastination? Someone help me out here.

I got paid today for the measely 20 hours I worked over Thanksgiving. Already I spent $16 on food ($3 was for the tip, bitches). Good lord, $16? I could have gotten a nice meal at a restuarant for that amount. Instead I got a BLT. Or should I say BL becuase they forgot my favorite part, the tomato. Only three things constitiute a BLT and they forgot one of them. Assrammers.

I don't think I'm going out tonight. Emily has work tonight and early tomorrow, so she's not, so I figure I might as well stay in. Even though it is the last Friday here. Maybe I should stop being a pansy and just go out, but then I have to take a shower, pick out an outfit and straighten my hair. That's sounding like a little too much work. I think I'll stick with the lazy life.

Song de la moment: Earth Angel from Back to the Future. I don't like The Platters version as much as the version directly from the movie. I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you. Yes I will listen to it 34 times in a row. Please be mine, bitches.

I erased that other one because I couldn't get rid of that white around it and it was bothering me. Therefore, I erased your comment, sorry Jenn. I'm newly obsessed with my "PhotoImpression" thing. I just wish I had more picutres to mess around with. This is Keri (right) and I (left) in front of Lizzie Borden's house in Massachusetts. She's pretending to stab me. I told you she was the best sister ever!  Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 02, 2004

You Know You're From Chicago When...

You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?" This just a Chicago thing?

You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily. Yep, I've been listening to the traffic reports all my life. Even if I've never been on the Bishop Ford, I know how long it'll take you to get from there to the Edens Expressway during rush hour.

You know the difference between Richard J. Daley and Richard M Daley. J 's the dad, M's is the current mayor.

The "Living Room" is called the "front room" Again, just a Chicago thing? I thought everyone said front room.

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do. Yeah, you bastards. You don't pronouce the goddamn "s". My mom does it once in a while and I go apeshit.

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away. True. I live about 15 minutes from Downtown.

You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago. Now this I disagree with. I hate when people say "Chicawgo". It sounds too proper. Say "Chicaago", bitches.

You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun. Goddamn right it's fun. Go bears!

Da is a proper definite article. Of course it is. Common knowlegde.

You expect corruption in local politics. Well obviously.

You know why they call it "the Windy City." If anyone knows the correct answer I'll give you $5.

You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common. Ah, do I miss good pizza here at school. I'm spoiled back at home. Giordano's is the best.

You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant. 1908. And they're still crying about it.

You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes. I'm ashamed to say I just saw this movie for the first time a few years ago, but it's fucking great. If you've never seen it, go rent it. But yes, I do know where parts of it were filmed now.

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake". What other lake would "The Lake" be referring to?

"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986. The Super Bowl Shuffle! Jim McMahon! The Fridge! Sweetness! Do they still play the Super Bowl today? I haven't paid attention.

You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers! I really have a hard time understanding Packers fans. There's just so much hatred my Dad instilled in me for them. If you're a Packers fan, I'll never trust you.

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is. Damn right. You guys don't know what you're missing.

You understand what "lake-effect" means. It's how the lake affects our weather.

You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847 (northern suburbs),630 (western suburbs), 773 (me), 708 (southwest suburbs), 312 (my old area code. now it's downtown), & 815 (me at school).

You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE." If you want to be techinical, I'm on the SouthWest side.

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet! 588-2300 Empire! I've been seeing those commercials all my life.

You wear gym shoes, not sneakers. I don't think I've ever said the word sneakers.

It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight. That chair is there for a reason and I'm not touching it.

You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway. Not if I have Dad's I-Pass. Then I can fly through those tolls.

When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know." Exactly.

You know the significance of State and Madison. It's the most important streets downtown!

These weren't all of them, but they were the ones that I definitly apply to. They had a whole bunch of these things at so go find your city or state and see how many of them apply to you. Chicago rocks, bitches.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Mother Night

I got out Kurt Vonnegut's book Mother Night from the library about 2 weeks ago. It was only the second book of his I had read since Slaughterhouse-Five, which is now one of my favorite books, and I loved it. It's about this guy who was a spy for America during World War II, but he lived in Germany before the war started, and his job was to become a Nazi and do Nazi propaganda radio shows. But during the shows he was giving out secret messages to American troops, or officials or whatever you call them. American intelligence, maybe? I don't know. Make sense? Read the damn book to get it, if you don't. But anyways, the point of this was to tell you about this sentence in it. I don't know why it stuck out so much to me, but I loved it and wanted to share it with you all. Think of it as your Christmas present. I'll type out the paragraph before it, and the paragraph it's in so you can get more of a jist of it. It's not long at all.

"I smoked cigarettes all the way, began to think of myself as a lightning bug.
I encountered many fellow lightning bugs. Sometimes I gave the cheery red signal first, sometimes they. And I left the seashell roar and the aurora borealis of the city's heart farther and farther behind me. "

Is that not the most descriptive sentence you have ever read? Or is it just me. I wish I were an English major and could think of a better word than "descriptive", but unfortunately for you, I'm not.

I can imagine exactly what the city must have sounded like because I remember what a seashell sounds like when you put it up to your ear. Then I picture this colorful background with swirly lights slowly fading in the background as he walks away from it all. And fyi, he is talking about New York City if that helps you picture it even better. You all know what aurora borealis is, right? Someone *coughbillcough* didn't, so for those of you who don't, it's also known as The Northern Lights. You really only see them way up north, like in Canada and Alaska, and it really is just different colored lights in the sky. I saw them in Northern Minnesota once and they are fucking awesome to see in person. Words don't do them justice.

This concludes my book report. I just wanted to tell you all about that sentence because I think it's great. Thank you all for your time. *curtsies*

The Weather Outside is Frightful

...but the fire is so delightful. Since there's no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

I have a crush. On Brian Williams. He's the news anchor who is taking over for Tom Brokaw on NBC Nightly News. I see Brian all the time on shows like Conan, or Jay Leno, or like tonight, on The Daily Show, and I just absolutley love him. He's so funny, and you know he's smart, I mean christ, he gets Tom Brokaw's job. I think I want to marry someone like just like him. Or Brian himself, that would be even better.

Early blog tonight because I'm semi-tired and don't feel like sitting here trying to entertain myself until 3 am like normal. I would normally be sitting in the front room watching tv or something with Emily, but Carly is drunk right now and really annoying. The only time I can honestly say I hate her is when she's drunk. And I know, I know, EVERYONE gets annoying when they're drunk, including yours truly, but she's the worst. She doesn't just get drunk, she gets completely, can't stand up on her own, shitfaced. I love her any other time though, we get along really good. I just wish I never had to see her when she was drunk. I hate people who can't take care of themselves when they drink too much. If I feel sick, I go throw up, then come back, and everything is fine. I don't make a big drama out of it, and if I still feel sick, I go home. I don't need anyone to take care of me. If you can't take care of yourself when you drink, then you shouldn't be drinking at all, goddamnit. It's not other people's responsibilities to baby-sit you when all they want to do is have a good time themselves. And I'm done ranting.

Right now it's 10:41 pm. It has been hardcore snowing out since 2 pm. It makes it feel so much more Chrsitmas-y out. All day I've had the song "It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas" in my head. At first it wasn't sticking on the ground because it was wet, but now we have about three inches. Good thing I have gloves and a winter hat here at school. Oh wait, no I don't because I'm a dumbass. At least I have the Gay Pride because I'm really going to need it tomorrow. I'll scan a picture of it sometime this week or next. I made some copies of pictures from when I was a kid too that I want to scan. Sorry, no uni-brow picture though Bill. You're just going to have to stick with the mental image you have of it in your head. By the way, sorry I stopped talking to you and Jenn earlier. Emily came in my room and needed my help with something. When I came back you were both gone. Many apologies to you both.

Congratulations to Jenn's brother and his girlfriend on their new baby girl Britney! She has a full head of hair! I was bald until I was 2 years old, so lucky her. I want to see a picture soon lady.

I got back some test scores yesterday.
Art History - Didn't study at all. If I even go to class, I fall asleep. What did I get? 80%. I'm guessing there must have been gigantic curve, but still I'm amazed at myself. Now here's hoping I can pass the class with a 65%.
Politcal Science: Democracy in America - I love going to this class and have only missed it twice all semester. I studied for at least 3 hours for this test, and really wanted an A, because if you have an A average, you don't have to take the final. I get an 86% on the first test, 88% on the second and a goddamn 68% on this last one. I definitly have to take the final now.

What lesson did I learn from all this? I do better off when I don't study.

God am I boring tonight. Actaully, I'm going to go another post right after this because I want it to have it's own. It's nothing exciting. Go make a snowman, bitches.