Friday, July 20, 2007

Countdown: 5 Hours And 39 Minutes

So yeah, I stood in line this morning before work with my sister to get a wristband for later today when the last Harry Potter book comes out, what's it to you? The fact that I'm 23 and did this just makes me even cooler. I just got off the phone with Keri and decided we're going to go to the bar for an hour or so before we leave to get in line at 11:30. Going to the bar, then to get Harry Potter, then home to read. We're awesome. So so so fucking excited to read this book. And so so so sad at the same time that it's the last one. I will be done with this book come Monday MARK MY WORDS. I am so ominous.

I am seriously going to have an intervention for all the old ladies of Oak Lawn that order shit from QVC and the Home Shopping Network. TURN OFF YOUR TV OR GET A FUCKING HOBBY THAT DOESN'T COST YOU MONEY. How about knitting? Yarn can't be that much. Or get into pro wwrestling like my grandma was. Anything but ordering off those goddamn tv stations. Do you ever actually KEEP anything? It drives me crazy to see them come in here day after day. Every single week the same people come in and spend $50 or more just returning everything they buy. I thought you were supposed to get wiser with age. Apparently not.

After way too many years of working at this here UPS Store, guess what I just done earned. PAID HOLIDAYS AND A WEEKS PAID VACATION, bitches. Aw hell yeah, moving on up. I hope I stay here for the rest of my life!

One time, at least six or seven years ago, my mom came back from food shopping and said, "I got something for you Kate." I was hoping ice cream, maybe swiss cheese or a pony, but it was none of the above. I asked what and she proudly held up a bottle and said "KETHUP!" It's been an ongoing joke that only I find funny since then because while it's very true that I like ketchup, I don't think I've ever jumped up and down or drooled from the mouth when my mom has brought some home. Everytime she says she bought me something since then, my first guess is always KETCHUP!, but the other day she was looking in the pantry for some reason and goes, "Kate, we have paper bags!" If I had been packing a lunch at the time or trying to make puppets this would have made sense, but I was eating a bowl of cereal. Some kids (23 year olds?) get excited over cupcakes or Doritos, but my mom gets me ketchup! and paper bags! Life is good living at home.

Last week I got a free gift card in a magazine or something for a free book on tape, or rather book I could put and listen to on my iPod. It's really bizarre listening to a book on my iPod though. I feel like I'm concentrating so hard on trying to remember names and keeping the story line straight that I don't really enjoy it. Ok that's not true cause it's a pretty good book so far (The Falling Man by I don't remember who) but still, I'm not sure if I am a Person Who Listens To Rather Than Reads Books. Usually I'm reading while listening to my iPod. Now the book is ON the iPod and it throws me all off. I obviously can't read another book. I just have to sit there. And listen. And NOT fall asleep. This book-on-iPod shit is boring.

I still have to get my costume ready for later. I hope my mom's done sewing my cape.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Back To Black

I know songs in commercials are a big deal for some people, but I've gotten into some good songs through that medium, so I don't mind it. The latest one is an M&M's commercial with The The's This Is the Day. I'd heard the song before, but now can't stop listening to it on YouTube, where the video is. Also, I don't who's ballsy-er, The Band or The The. I think The Band. Ain't nobody got bigger balls than Robbie Robertson.

I'm seeing Dylan this Sunday for the first time in about three years, in Indianapolis. Will got me these tickets for my birthday but now I'm going with Diana instead because she has a friend down there we can stay with. Sure there's going to be a screaming three month old baby, we have to sleep on the floor and Diana will probably make me listen to the Grateful Dead/Widespread Panic/String Cheese Incident the entire ride down there, but I'll take any of those over two days of Will bitching about his job and me pretending to care by nodding a lot and saying "yeah" and/or "that sucks" about 8400 times all the while screaming in my head NOBODY LIKES THEIR JOB PLEASE SHUT UP. And they call it puppy loooo-uh-uh-vveeee. So anyways, Dylan! Yay! The eternal question: Will I finally have his love child? I'll let you know Monday.

One more reason I wish I had HBO: Flight of the Conchords. I watched the first episode yesterday on a free podcast on iTunes and it was really funny. Why can't more things be free. Besides my love of course, because that's free for everyone! Except John Mellencamp.

One of my favorite things about summer is all the seasonal fruit that comes out, besides my brother (he's out year-round). My mom brought back some cherries and peaches from Michigan last Sunday and I am not exaggerating ONE BIT when I say they were the most delicious things ever. Seriously, it's pathetic how happy strawberries, cherries, watermelon and peaches make me - I think I'm a fruitopheliac, WARN YOUR GARDENS. My mom and I went to the farmer's market today to buy some more but I've been spoiled forever by those brilliant! cherries. Damn you Michigan DAMN YOU.

Last Saturday Diana, Lauren and I were in the Burger King drive-thru, and Lauren, sitting shotgun, jumped out of the car because she knew someone in the car ahead of us she hadn't seen in awhile. In her excitedness or something, she didn't close the car door and a minute or so later when she realized it was still open, ran back to close it really quick. She forgot the windows were down and went to close it by pushing on the window. She almost dove through the open window before catching herself and I then pee'd myself laughing. I love my friends.

Monday, July 09, 2007

It Won't Let Me Type A Goddamn Title

1. Yeah, I know I've been a slacker lately, but I just feel like I have nothing to say. You know how when you haven't talked to someone in a long time, when you do finally talk, sometimes it's awkward because you feel like there's so much you SHOULD have to say that you can't think of TO say? But if you talk to someone everyday, you just talk about normal stupid shit that you wouldn't really remember to talk about if it had been awhile? No? It's just me? Well that's how I feel. Yeah shit goes on in my life, but when it's been so long since I've done an actual post, I feel like everything I say has to be a really good story or funny or something. I don't know. I'm probably just lazy. ANYWAYS, I'm gonna try for ten here but no promises.

2. I actually had the following conversation with my friends a couple weeks ago. Back on my birthday, on the way to the Sox game, for whatever reason Lauren said something about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the lightbulb:

Diana: No, Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.
Lauren: Ohh....right.
Me: DUMBASSES, Thomas Jefferson was our third president. Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb.
Diana: You went to college Katie. We didn't.

Then just last night, we were laughing about it telling our friend Claudio and he says,

"But wait, was Thomas Jefferson actually a president?"
Me: "Yeah he was our third. He bought the Louisiana Purchase....?"
Claudio: "Oh right. I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin."

And he's in the process of applying to law school. My friends need to stop smoking so much pot.

3. I broke up with Will last month after I got sick of his too-nice ways - I don't take no shit from NO ONE. A few days after we broke up I heard that he was renouncing the Cubs as his baseball team and becoming a Sox fan. If we hadn't of been broken up already, that would have done it for me. He had been a Cubs fan his whole life and then one day just switches sides. How does that even happen, I would love to know. Now he just looks like a huge idiot because the Sox are in fourth place and the Cubs are only a handful of games outta first. God, I don't know why it gets me so riled up. I think I'm just over protective of my Sox, but christ that turns me off so much. I'll never say this again, but I hope the Cubs win it all this year ( I know it's laughable, that's why I don't feel bad saying it) just so he realizes he's the biggest douche bag in the entire world. Stick with your team, bitch.

4. One last Sox thing: after god knows how many weeks of keeping us in limbo about whether they were gonna sign Mark Buerhle, they finally signed him today to a four year deal. Jesus christ Kenny Williams, took you long enough. But thank you thank you thank you for doing that.

5. Keri and I saw the movie Once about a month ago and I finally got around to buying the soundtrack while I was in Arizona. Well then it magically got all scratched up in my luggage on the way home and I had to buy it again on iTunes, but nonetheless, I finally got it and it's been my obsession du jour for the past two weeks. You know how sometimes you love a song so much it's almost like you can feel a knot in your chest you want to hear it so bad? Yeah, that's how this whole cd is, especially the song Lies. Buy this cd and see this movie because both are the best ever.

6. I've read a couple good books lately: The Road by Cormac McCarthy (such such SUCH a good book). I was almost done reading it the night before we left for Arizona and knew I had to finish it then because I was going to cry and didn't want to do it on the airplane. While at the bookstore in O'Hare, me and some old dude went to reach for the same book, No Country for Old Men by the same author and ended up talking for a few minutes about The Road and other books we had both read and loved. Then another lady asked me if I was a big reader and could I recommend a book for her to read on the plane, so I suggested The Kite Runner. I really wish I knew if she liked the book or not - I always get nervous when I recommend a book I love to someone because I'm afraid they won't like it as much as me and I'll have to kill them, but I guess that's just the way things happen sometimes. I've also read Beasts of No Nation by Uzodinma Iweala (really good too) and just finished today Suite Francaise Irene Nemirovsky, which took me awhile to get into but was worth it in the end. The backstory about the author is almost better than the story itself though - she was a Russian Jew who moved to France way before WWII, converted her and her kids to Catholicism, not even necessarily because of Hitler, but was captured, sent to a concentration camp, died in 1942 there and this book was discovered sixty years later. How the hell do you compete with that.

7. I love summer. I fucking LOVE summer. Even if it's just sitting outside in the sun reading, I love it. Or if it's going downtown to the Taste Of Chicago Friday to see a free Black Crowes concert with my friends, I love it. Or swimming in Diana's backyard. Or sitting outside by myself reading, getting severely sun burnt, soon to be joined by my sister to start drinking at 2:00 pm, soon to be joined by my brother after he got off work at 5:30 and then get more beer, soon to be joined by my dad after he got home from the bar with his friends, and then soon to join my bed when I was drunk by 8:30 pm. Just a random example, really. Moral of this story? I LOVE SUMMER.

8. I have a zit right in the middle of my eyebrow. Awwwwwwwwwwesome.

9. The countdown for Harry Potter has begun. Less than two more weeks to wait for the seventh book I don't know if I can handle it. I think Harry's going to die and I'm trying to prepare my tear ducts for it, but I don't think anything can. July 21st HURRY UP.

10. I read in Cosmo yesterday that your boobs can keep growing into your mid-twenties. This means two more years of wishful thinking. Best news I've heard all year, bitches.