Friday, February 24, 2006

I Am Now Ready To Graduate

My teacher tripped over a chair and fell in class today. My college experience is complete.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

It's A Long Way To The House Of Fitzcarraldo

Does anybody have any idea how I could be notified by a text message whenever anyone comments for me? Anyone? Jenn? Anyone? Jenn? Any idea? Jenn? Jenn? Do you know? Jenn? Logging onto my computer is too much work, I figured someone, maybe Jenn, might have an idea how to do this. Thanks for any help. Jenn.

Read my brother's blog now. It's about me and Keri, so you should love it.

I saw Jeff Tweedy, of the band Wilco, in concert Monday. I've never enjoyed a concert more when I didn't even know one song of the performers. And I've never enjoyed more awkward moments than when Chandler continuously put his hand on my back throughout the concert. Chandler, goddamnit, I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND. Christ, I even told you that to your face OVER A YEAR AGO. Not one for getting hints I take it.

I wish I went to ISU with my sister. I wish I had friends that had parties every single weekend. I wish I could hang a paperbag on the wall, call it art and Emily wouldn't take it down the next day. I wish Amy and I could eat entire large pizzas between us more often. I wish I could hear the conversation "Did you just call him a 'turdburger'? No, I said furburger" more often. I wish I got to dance more often to the song "Shout!". And I wish I could see myself more often on videotape dancing to the song "Shout!". The last one, not so much. Good times in Bloomington-Normal, bitches.

Kelly is coming up here one night this weekend. And I have $20 to my name. Sweetass. That just means I have to bring out my big purse and sneak beer into the bar. I am crafty.

I got an A on my first test of the semester. Sure it was in a 100 level sociology class, but still I GOT A FUCKING 'A' ON A TEST. Yes, it is on the refridgerator. When I came home and told Emily I said "You can put it on the board, yesssss!" (That's what the Sox announcers say when someone hits a home run, I just relaized most people won't know that.) When I told Keri I put it on the fridge, she said the same thing. Quite possibly the lamest story ever, but I thought it was funny, so shut your mouth.

I am obsessed with the new Strokes album First Impressions of Earth. It's a delight. Also obsessed with Google Earth. If you haven't downloaded it, do it up bitches. I was dead tired Sunday night, yet was still up until 2:00 am looking up random things while talking to J.P online. "Look at the pyramids! The buildings downtown look trippy! Whats that blue thing on our driveway?" It's addictive.

If I ever have a band I'm naming it "The Fitzwilliam Affair".

Sunday, February 19, 2006


I think this is probably my most favorite picture ever. I look like a horse braying while simultaneously attempting sign language and Keri is just calmy looking longingly into my eyes. Hurrah for brightly colored jackets and Sister's Weekend!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Ode To Kerianne

Whenever I want my hair cut into layers, my sister is ready with the shears.
Whenever I need to borrow a turtleneck, my sister's closet is wide open.
Whenever I'm feeling down about myself, my sister is there to laugh at me.
Whenever I really want to punch someone, my sister's face is there for me.
Whenever I really want to talk to my brother, but he's busy, my sister is there for me instead.
Whenever I want someone to rub my feet, my sister willingly gets out her oils.
Whenever I want to move to a foreign country, my sister agrees to go with me.
Whenever I get drunk and fall, my sister is there because I pull her down with me.
Whenever I need money, my brother is there for me.
Whenever I need to get to Jewel, my sister takes me there without hesitation.
Whenever I ask "Whad they say?", my sister is always there to say "I don't know".
Whenever I need someone to make me a blanket, preferabely with ballerinas on it, my sister steps up.
Whenever I need someone to jump off the neighbors swingset and rip her shorts in the process, my sister gladly complies.
Whenever I need to gang up on my mom, my sister backs me up.
Whenever the Bears need to win the play-off game, my sister will come home from Ireland and be the goddamn bad luck charm.
Whenever I want to drink a 40, my sister is always game.
Whenever I need someone to eat nachos with, my sister is there.
Whenever I need someone to steal my clothes, my sister does it without having to be asked twice.
Whenever I need someone to be my twin, my sister does it if no one else offers.
Whenever I need a paper for my Irish class, my sister sends one to me.
Whenever I need a sister, my brother is there for me.
Whenever I need some information on baboons, my sister sends me her files.
Whenever I need all the back issues of Growing up Jewish, my sister hands them over.
Whenever I need someone to call because Michelle Kwan backed out of the Olympics or to remember Pete's Dragon or I'm drunk or I need to hear THE MIDNIGHT CLUB or no one else will answer their phone, my sister always picks up.
Whenever I need something to blog about, my sister always unselfishly suggests herself.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


That old guy didn't even work for the Blarney Castle, the Stone of which I'm kissing here. He just liked copping a feel on all the ladies who like kissing piss-covered stones. Delicious, I'm telling you.

The other half of Sisters in the Homeland, Amy and Eileen. Wait, which bus do we take?

I think Amy said it all with her caption that said just "Cool" in her Yahoo pictures page. Why I'm looking at the camera like I've never seen one is beyond me. "What are these new fangled contraptions? Cameras you say? Stop making shit up."

Why this statue, named Jacob Tuc by Keri and her friends, was in the middle of their campus I never understood, but goddamnit I wanted to hump it anyways. Trip to Ireland: Complete.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


Amy said "Look sexy" and this is what came naturally to us.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Why Do You Fill My Sorrow With Words You've Borrowed?

Keri discovered the other day that her and I can get a dual-citizenship for Ireland because our grandparents (Dad's mom and dad) were born there. This makes things much much easier because apparently work visas are a bitch to get. After we get an Irish passport we'd be free to live in any EU country, which is sweetass. I didn't want to tell my mom about our plan just yet because she'd be like "Uh huh. Sure, go for it. No, Kate, I believe you. Really. No, I'm not mocking you" in the biggest I'm-mocking-you-cause-I know-you-never-follow-through-with-anything-anyways voice. Then J.P had to go ask her about it. Thanks J. I guess she would have found out soon anyways though, since we need to know who has our grandparents birth certificates and shit. I'm super friggin excited about this though. I'll be an Irish citizen in about a year. This two year or so move has been dubbed "Ireland: Making Up for American Sobriety" because all we're going to do over there is get drunk apparently. I mean we wouldn't be doing this if we didn't have a good reason for going over there in the first place.

Things I'm Excited About:
1. Going to visit Keri and Megan at ISU next weekend, February 17-19th. And just in time to celebrate Keri and Amy's half birthdays! Only 6 more months until you're 21! I'm going to spend the whole time at the bars. Without you. Just give me a key and really, we can avoid seeing each other vis-a-vis the entire time.
2. Seeing Jeff Tweedy of Wilco at a bar here in DeKalb on February 20th. The best part? Chandler bought me a ticket. And refuses to let me pay him back. Sweeeeeeetass.
3. Getting another tattoo over Spring Break. Well hopefully. I was also supposed to get it over the summer and in Ireland but goddamnit, I'M SERIOUS THIS TIME.

Things I Did Thursday Night:
1. Threw up twice. Delightful.
2. Sleep-walked into Carly's room. Is this a diagnosed medical condition? Or is it just called Scareyourroommatehalftodeath,poorthing-itis? Look it up on webmd.com, I'm pretty sure it's there.
3. This should actually be under the category "Things I Did NOT Do Friday": Go to class.

The song Delicate, by Damien Rice, is probably the most delicious song. Ever. He asks the best question I've never thought to ask: "Why do you sing Hallejulah, if it means nothing to you?" In my mind that means, why would you sing Hallejulah, (Jeff Buckley's version) if it means nothing to you? And really, why the fuck would you. I love when people can put into words things I think, but don't realize until I read it. Does that make sense? Probably only to me. Yes, I will miss class to listen to this song tomorrow, 100% money back guaranteed.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Eire, Brother, Indy, Anthro and Heyday

My sister and I are going to move to Ireland in September of 2007, after she graduates college and I have (cross your fingers) tons of money from having worked at McDonalds for over a year. I need to get the study abroad itch out of the way, Keri's in love with Ireland after having lived there last semester and I want to be able to say I lived somewhere awesome for 2 years of my life. Plus if I fall in love and get married and all that shit there, I'll still have a kickass Irish last name. I love my last name and would really have to consider taking my husband's if it was something shitty. I'm glad I'm not getting ahead of myself at all. I'm sure you're doubting us and to that I say: Fuck you. Watch us, bitches. And then come visit. And buy us beer.

My brother started his own blog this past week. He may seem really angry in it for some reason, but I swear he's not. Well he did call me a "stupid bitch" the other day, but I put his ass in line, or something to that effect. Next time you call me that, I will slice you J.P. So anyways, go visit my brother bear. He's telling tales of his exotic life as a Chicagoan in Ohio. The hilarity never ends!

My sister's friend Amy, my fellow Sisters in the Homeland lady, now reads this site. Hi Amy! NOW STOP TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY BLOG. Christ, it's already weird enough that my brother reads it. Now I have to deal with Shee-ran-so-far? Am, just don't read July 23, 2005 - I don't want you to see the horrible malicious things I said about you.

I didn't go to my Anthropology class today. That makes a grand total of TWO times that I have gone since the semester started three weeks ago. But I haven't yet missed a Friday class, so I feel that evens everything out. I mean jesus christ, I have 16 fucking classes a week. I think I deserve to miss one or two of them. Or five in this case. The semester is off to a good start. I can almost smell the diploma right now. Or maybe that's the fries cooking at McDonalds. Same thing.

I am obsessed with the song Heyday by Mic Christopher. OBSESSED. I actually missed class Tuesday to come home and listen to it. That could have been avoided if I wasn't the last person in the free world to not own an Ipod. Or maybe not because my ulterior motive was really to take a nap. But I still really want an Ipod.

Go Steelers.