Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Simply Having

On Christmas Eve, my mom said to me, "You seem like such a happy person." She caught me off guard because I was so engrossed in a Real World/Road Rules Challenge repeat. You know how those things can be so addicting. And if you don't, shut up about it. I never think of myself as a happy-go-lucky person, so I didn't really know what to say, so she asked, "If you could change anything what would it be?" "I'd lose 50 pounds." "Is that it?" "I'd love to know I had a good job after graduation." "Well those are both things you can change yourself." Goddamnit, I hate when my mom is right. This isn't the first time I've realized it, but I have a super-duper-uber good life. My brother and sister are the best ever and you all should be jealous you aren't related to them. My mom and I have such a good relationship now, after hating each other for five years when I was 13-18. (She told me the same day, "I thought something was wrong with you, you were so angry all the time. My response, "Christ mom, I was a teenager.") My dad and I get along, not that we're super close at all. But thank god for sports and making fun of my siblings, or else we'd have nothing to talk about. I'm about to graduate college on time, I have good friends and I love my family. I guess I am happy. Ever since my mom said that, whenever she yells at me for being crabby, I remind her of how happy I am. I only get a "shut up" then. Love you too mom. I'm happy, hope you're happy too.

Friday, December 23, 2005

The Countdown

15 days until my sister comes home. 15 days too long. Who's room am I going to go into first on Christmas? More importantly, who am I going to have a sleepover with on Christmas Eve? I just got way too emtional about you not being here for all this. I miss you like the devil and can't wait until you come home. January 7th should be a national holiday.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Speaking Of Coolers

The UPS Store I work at changed locations a few weeks ago, but we're only six blocks away from our previous store. Everybody hates "the new location" because the parking sucks, the sidewalk is icey, it's not on a corner like before. Me, I hate it because there isn't a tobacco store next door with free lighters galore and a pop machine in it. But the next person who comes in and says, "Why did you move? Your other location is much better", I'm going to slice in half. With a knife. In front of eveyone. And it will serve as a warning to others. Not to ask that fucking question anymore. Maybe I have a crush on the new guy who works with me, Nick. And maybe Nick's a senior in high school. Is that wrong? My mom says only if I act on it. Which I don't plan on doing. At least I don't think so. Speaking of my mom, she and I were making Christmas cookies the other day and while she's usually the one who does it, and I whine if she asks me to start the oven, it was me forcing my mom to help me make them this year. I think the mother-daughter-bonding that was going on was overwhelming her and she said, "When you get older and move out on your own, we should get together to make cookies." I don't know Mom, maybe we'll keep in touch throughout the years. I'll at least give you a call over the holidays. No promises though. I went out last night to bar with my best friend Megan and had a good time. I wasted most of my lifesaving (which is around $33) on the music trivia game thingy they have at one of the tables. I'm a fanatic for trivia, especially music trivia, so when I start playing, I can't stop. I snuck Keri into that bar a shitload of times over the summer, and one time we got the highest score for the game. I found out last week "KateKeri" is still number one. That means no ones been able to beat our score since July. Finding that out totally made my day, which is probably a little bit pathetic. You know what's even more pathetic though? Pussies who can't beat our score. No, I will not cry the day we become number 2, why would you ask that. Speaking of Keri, she's in either Amsterdam, Brussels (my mom told me she was going to "Brussls, Amsterdam." For 52 years she's thought Amsterdam was a country. Why am I surrounded by geography-deficent people?) or Hamburg, Germany right now. Last weekend she was in Paris. God I hate her. She was supposed to go to Barcelona the first weekend in December but overslept, got there 15 minutes late and wasn't allowed on the flight. Sister you make me proud in so many ways. Christmas is in 4 days. Christ. I have yet to start shopping. I'm going to Best Buy in a little bit and I'll probably end up getting a cd for myself. Who says I'm not full of the fucking holiday spirit. Alright, this is boring, and I hate how it looks like no breaks between the different things I talked (typed) about. Plus my throat kills. I wonder if it's because I smoked a pack of cigarettes last night. God is that disgusting. Last thought: Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees? What the fuck. That made me unnessecarily angry when I saw it on ESPN at the bar last night. Also, they shouldn't have tvs in bars because my friends get mad at me when I get sucked into whatever game is on at the moment. I don't get why, it's not like I want to talk to them anyways. Merry Christmas, bitches.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Final Jeopardy

Does metal contract or expand in the cold?

Monday, December 12, 2005

A Year Later, Nothing's Changed

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS GODDAMN ENTER KEY NOT WORKING. I can't work under conditions like this.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

I'm Not Like That

Tonight is my last night at school until the middle of January. I still can't believe how long our winter breaks are. I was done Wednesday the 7th and won't start up again until January 18th. Christ, I remember in grammar school and high school we got about 2 weeks off, now its almost six. Not that I mind. Although this is my last winter break. I'm going to cry.

I was talking to my mom the other day and told her I got a B on the big research paper I wrote. She asked, "Is that good, or did you want to do better?" Who does she think she's talking to? Of course I was satisfied with a B. When have I ever not been? I am the farthest thing from an overachiever that you can possibley be. I've never gotten upset over a grade, or been mad I didn't do better. Maybe I have my parents to thank for that, they never put a big emphasis on grades or pressured us to get A's. As long as we were doing fine, that was cool with them. So why my mom deciedes to now ask me if I'm happy with a B, I'll never know. I mean I've called her excited over a C before. I knew she never listened to me when I spoke.

Last night Emily and I went out to the bar, and got trashed even though I had "work" (which meant reading 3 newspapers, 4 magazines and pitying myself for feeling so shitty) at 9 am. Of course, of course I don't go out Thursday (thanks a lot for getting in a car accident and ruining my night Emily, you inconsiderate bitch. Love you!) when I wouldn't have work until 1 pm Friday, I go out Friday night when I have work at 9 am Saturday. Smart decisions have never been my forte. Anyways, I was wearing heels (ok, so they're barely an inch, but I'm a giant already, so I don't need any help in the height department) and had flashbacks of the night last year when I lost my shoes in the snow. (It's the 2nd paragraph. Not that anyone's going to click on it, I'm still just proud of myself for knowing how to do those links.) It still boggles me to this day that I never thought of carrying my shoes in my hands instead of just leaving them in the snow. I honestly thought of that about 2 months later and was like "Oh. Maybe I should have done that."

Last night during halftime at the Bulls game they retired Scottie Pippen's number. A bunch of other old Bulls players were there, and because I'm a giantass pussy, it made me cry remembering how good the Bulls used to be. I was a fucking Bulls FANATIC when I was younger. I knew stats, watched every game, had my awesome Bulls starter jacket, subscribed to Sports Illustrated for Kids, sent Michael Jordan a card when his dad died (I got a letter back, of course just the one they must have sent everyone, but that letter was one of my prized possesions for years. I still have it) and even wanted to paint my room to look like the inside of Chicago Stadium for a time. Thanks for not letting me do that Mom. I watched Johnny Kerr announce the starting lineup I felt like shit for not knowing anyone's name. I didn't even know the coaches name. I'm totally reading too much into this, but I guess seeing Scottie Pippen, MJ, Phil Jackson and even Horace Grant made me nostalgic for my childhood. Or for a good Bulls team. Jay Mariotti summed it up (does anyone watch Around the Horn?) when he said,
"Pippen and his partners in NBA championship crime -- Jordan with a slight belly, Jackson still coaching the Lakers for reasons I don't understand, a bandana-wrapped Dennis Rodman ready for a night in the clubs, Horace Grant without the goggles, Toni Kukoc and so many more -- were a sight for nostalgic eyes as No. 33 was lowered into the United Center rafters."

Ok, maybe not summed it up, but agreed with me on the nostalgic factor. Same thing.

Last two sport things: the Sox signed Paulie Konerko for 5 more years, praise the lord. It sucks we had to trade Aaron Rowand for Jim Thome though. We still have our pitching inact though. Repeat 2006? Fuck yeah bitch.

Rex Grossman might quarterback for Orton this Sunday against the Steelers. And thank god for that. I don't want to have to look at Orton's ugly ass beard anymore. There should be a "No touching" rule for Rex though; if one guy hits him he'll be gone for the rest of the season. Again.

Sorry, I should have made my last post for awhile more exciting, but what are you gonna do. I'll post over break, but not very often; the basement is too goddamn cold. Goodbye bed that's long enough for me, being able to walk around sans socks, having a non-busy job, fast internet connection, awesome Dylan posters, good music on my computer and favoritest roommate. Hello Brother Bear, other bestest friend, chores, parent's liquor cabinet, being able to drive and being broke because I owe my mom 3 billion dollars. Yay.

I'm Dying

Is it necessary for a library to be open at 9 am on a Saturday? Somebody shoot me in the face.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


Today is Thursday. Not Friday.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Blue Rondo A La Turk

I have one more paper to write tomorrow, due by 3:00 and then the semester is over. OVER. I didn't realize it til tonight, just because I didn't have any huge tests to study for, but the end is here, and that means I have to go home for a month. Go home to slave away at the UPS Store and deal with stupidass people who are surprised that overnighting something to get there on a Saturday is a lot of money. Do YOU want to work on a Saturday? Didn't think so; that's why it's expensive, assrammer.

I go home Sunday, and I plan on getting drunk every single night until then. How I will do that with no money is yet to be determined, but when I put my mind to something, it usually gets accomplished. Well at least 10% of the time. I bought a 24 case of 16 oz bottles of MGD Saturday because it was only $13.99 and I left the rest of them at my friend Nick's place. If they drank them, I'll kill them, don't doubt me. It was a sweetass price, but they were plastic bottles, not glass, the kind you get at a sport game, or at a concert. I was reassured by my friend Mike though when I said "I feel queer drinking out of a plastic bottle" and he replied "that's because you do look queer." Mike, telling it like it is.

It's been ungodly cold here the past week. I can deal with 30 degrees, or 20, even though it still sucks ass. But the HIGH for the past two days has been 14 degrees. And that's not counting the wind chill. At night it's been around 4 degrees. I said something to my Dad about how cold it was and he goes "If you think this is cold, what are you going to do when it's winter out?" Sorry Dad, are you used to 4 degrees? We don't live in fucking Alaska. It could be the first day of winter and he would still say the same thing, or -9 and he'd say it too. I realize I'm from the Midwest and we have four seasons, including a coldass winter, but it's never this cold this soon. Cold weather means people are wearing leather gloves, and leather gloves creep me out for some reason. So do leather coats. Christ I hate leather coats. Long ones, short ones, guys wearing them or girls, I hate them all. Not because I think it's wrong to wear leather, don't get me wrong, I hate animals; it's just because they're ugly. And they make you look like a killer. What the hell am I talking about.

My parents went to Vegas last week, and now I feel like I've been there too with how long my mom went on about it. If you want to know anything about the Celine Dion show or what the Mirage looked like, just ask me. I really could have put the phone down for 10 minutes and she wouldn't have known the difference. But anyways, my mom liked it so much that her and my dad are going to renew their vows there for their 25th anniversary in November of 2007. Well we won't go until January of 2008 when my brother turns 21, but whats 2 months when they're waited 25 years. I asked if they were going to pay for me and she was like "well, some things, you WILL be 23 after all." Then I was all, "Mom, how much do you think I'll be able to afford working at McDonalds?" Then Mom was all, "KATHRYN, YOU WILL NOT WORK AT MCDONALDS." Oh yeah mom? What else do people with history degrees do? You got any ideas? Me either.

My schedule for next semester sucks ass because I'm taking seven classes. I start at 11:00 am Monday, Wednesday and FRIDAY. I haven't had a class before 12:30 or on a Friday since my very first semster here, oh so long ago. I could have taken a Monday-Wednesday class from 3:30-4:45 and not had class until noon, but I wanted to be home in time for Jeopardy and the girlmore girls every day. I base my schedule around tv shows. Cool. This semester I probably went to about 45% of my classes, which really isn't bad considering there was two weeks when I only went to three classes altogether. I'd like to say I didn't fail any, but we'll see about that next Wednesday. Please let me at least get D's. As long as I get my credit hours I'm happy.

Sure, it's 2:30 am and about 2 degrees outside, I totally understand why you need to sit outside in your car with the doors open and listen to your music! Really! I do! Totally!

Monday, December 05, 2005


The Support, I Can't Handle It

Jenn: your last post is GREAT

me: great jenn? GREAT?

me: my life is going to amount to nothing and you're calling it great

Jenn: well, the sarcasm was great

Jenn: sorry!

Everyone's A Comedian

friend in class, Mike: why are you so dressed up today?

me: dressed up? I'm wearing jeans

Mike: I know, what's the occasion

I'm Not Trying To Impress You Anyways

Mike: I can't believe the shit people wear to class. christ, look at you.

me: what? (wearing gray sweatpants I cut to about my shins, a hoodie and flip-flops)

Nothing Gets Past Him

co-worker: did you do something different with your hair?

me: I took a shower

co-worker: ahh, that must be it

What I Learned On The News Tonight

The "special segment" was about The Entitlement Generation, which is apparently what kids who have recently graduated college or will soon are now called. Supposedly we're a whiney bunch of pansies who think we are entitled to a good job without actually doing any work to prove ourselves. We don't have to work hard to get a job, it'll just magically happen on it's own! We're not professional enough, are too immature and aren't ready for the horrors of the real world, so no one likes to hire us.

I graduate in May.