Thursday, December 02, 2004

You Know You're From Chicago When...

You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?" This just a Chicago thing?

You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily. Yep, I've been listening to the traffic reports all my life. Even if I've never been on the Bishop Ford, I know how long it'll take you to get from there to the Edens Expressway during rush hour.

You know the difference between Richard J. Daley and Richard M Daley. J 's the dad, M's is the current mayor.

The "Living Room" is called the "front room" Again, just a Chicago thing? I thought everyone said front room.

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do. Yeah, you bastards. You don't pronouce the goddamn "s". My mom does it once in a while and I go apeshit.

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away. True. I live about 15 minutes from Downtown.

You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago. Now this I disagree with. I hate when people say "Chicawgo". It sounds too proper. Say "Chicaago", bitches.

You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun. Goddamn right it's fun. Go bears!

Da is a proper definite article. Of course it is. Common knowlegde.

You expect corruption in local politics. Well obviously.

You know why they call it "the Windy City." If anyone knows the correct answer I'll give you $5.

You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common. Ah, do I miss good pizza here at school. I'm spoiled back at home. Giordano's is the best.

You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant. 1908. And they're still crying about it.

You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes. I'm ashamed to say I just saw this movie for the first time a few years ago, but it's fucking great. If you've never seen it, go rent it. But yes, I do know where parts of it were filmed now.

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake". What other lake would "The Lake" be referring to?

"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986. The Super Bowl Shuffle! Jim McMahon! The Fridge! Sweetness! Do they still play the Super Bowl today? I haven't paid attention.

You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers! I really have a hard time understanding Packers fans. There's just so much hatred my Dad instilled in me for them. If you're a Packers fan, I'll never trust you.

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is. Damn right. You guys don't know what you're missing.

You understand what "lake-effect" means. It's how the lake affects our weather.

You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847 (northern suburbs),630 (western suburbs), 773 (me), 708 (southwest suburbs), 312 (my old area code. now it's downtown), & 815 (me at school).

You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE." If you want to be techinical, I'm on the SouthWest side.

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet! 588-2300 Empire! I've been seeing those commercials all my life.

You wear gym shoes, not sneakers. I don't think I've ever said the word sneakers.

It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight. That chair is there for a reason and I'm not touching it.

You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway. Not if I have Dad's I-Pass. Then I can fly through those tolls.

When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know." Exactly.

You know the significance of State and Madison. It's the most important streets downtown!

These weren't all of them, but they were the ones that I definitly apply to. They had a whole bunch of these things at so go find your city or state and see how many of them apply to you. Chicago rocks, bitches.

1 comment:

Jenn said...


Front room? HAHAH! You said that on one of your last posts. I was gonna say something about it too. I thought that was funny as hell.

I too measure distance in minutes. Who doesn't? If someone say's "I'm about 5 miles from you." I look at them like, what the fuck does that mean?!

Don't be offering 5 bucks you don't damn have. Sheesh!

I live in the Southvalley. DUDE! I think that's great. People from other states that move here are always so confused with the NW, NE, SW, and SE. It's a damn obligation to include it on the address. It makes life easier. What the hell's so confusing?! Go back to NY or CA then, asshole.

Everyone knows the number to Ken Ashner's Albuquerque Auto Sales out here. "255-1101, it's just that easy." Stupid commercial. It was a fun fake number to give out.

What the fuck is up with a kitchen chair on the street?!?! THAT, I want to know.

They aren't gym shoes or sneakers. They're fuckin' tenny shoes. Or now days, "kicks."

But yeah, I'm still laughing. That was great.