Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Three Non-Irish Things First:
1. I saw Walk the Line the Friday before I left, and it was not nearly as good as I expected it to be. Not that it was bad by any means, I guess I was just expecting more. It was pretty much worth the price just to be able to look at Joaquin Phoenix for about two hours though. I know this will make me sound like an old lady, but why do movies have to be so goddamn expensive? It was fucking $9.50 to see it. I remember the good ol' days when it was only $7.25. Seems like so long ago.

2. Jenn, you are a bitch of the highest order for putting that audio message thingy on your blog. Yeah yeah, I knew you were doing it, but christ. I swear to god I don't always sound like that. I hate hearing my own voice, on the phone, on home videos, anything, so hearing it on a blog wasn't especailly thrilling for me. Maybe I do always sound like that, but Irefuse to believe it. I wish I had one of those throaty sex machine voices, but I do not. I instead sound like a giant ass douche bag. Awesome.

3. Fuck yeah Chicago Bears, SEVEN GAMES IN A ROW. Longest win streak since 1986. I'm thinking Bears vs. Colts in the Superbowl when we'll finally make them lose their first game. Bring it on Peyton. I have work from 1-6pm Sunday, which blows because I'll miss the Packers game. HMT - I expect a full report.

So anyways.

I went to Ireland, the homeland of my ancestors and the home of my sister for four months. It was so fucking awesome. I didn't even freak out on the plane ride, and as a reward for that, the airplane gave me pink eye in my left eye! Thank you previous passenger of seat 41A! You made my first 4 days in Ireland a joy, and for that I will always remember you. It took me Amy and Eileen about 3 days to realize we were actually in Ireland, it just felt like we were visiting Keri at school and everyone around us just had really awesome accents. I think going to the Blarney Stone finally made us realize where we actually were. And yes, I did kiss it the Blarney Stone. I don't care if Irish men have pissed on it, I wasn't going to be a pussy about it, like some people coughkericough. We didn't do any other sightseeing beyond that, for a number of reasons. I was out of money, this trip was just about spending time with Keri, I knew I 'd be back someday anyways, I'm lazy, take your pick. I was out of money on TUESDAY. I got there on SUNDAY. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me. Thank god for cash advances on mom's credit card. I don't even want to think about how much I owe her now. The trip just further proved my point about why I would never trust myself with a credit card unless I have $100 million dollars in the bank. Who needs MONEY when you have PLASTIC? And plastic is so much better! You don't pay now, you pay later! It's magical!

The University of Limerick has a pub on their campus which starts serving beer at noon. If we had that here at NIU I'm pretty sure I would never go to class. Seriously, how fucking awesome is that? We went there every night to drink and twice there somebody mistook me for Keri. The first time me and Amy were out for a smoke, when Keri's flamingly homosexual friend Padrig (sp?) yells "Keri Keri!" and when I tell him I'm Katie, I get a kiss on the hand. Yay for Irish homos. The second time Keri and I are in line for the bathroom, and this girl passes right by Keri and says to me "Hi Keri!". Once both of them realized I wasn't Keri they said "Oh, now I can tell. I was wondering why she looked so much prettier than normal." I swear.

We made a huge Thanksgiving dinner over there, and I'm still surprised none of us got sick, with the jizzy turkey leaking his jizz everywhere as he jizzily defrosted. I swear Keri's lounge is infected with salomela or something. Everything was hectic leading up to dinner, but everything came together perfectly in the end and I think I can honestly say it was one of the best Thanksgivings ever. Yeah, we did eat mashed potatoes out of a box in Ireland of all places, but shove it up your ass, THEY WERE GOOD. We played a football game earlier in the day, and even though I didn't catch the ball one fucking time, my body hurt like I had been tackled by Brian Urlacher or something. And we only played touch football at that. I think I have to start facing the fact that my body is falling apart in my old age. Or maybe I could just start working out so that I wouldn't be sore from running around for a little bit. I'll probably just stick with the former.

Two weird things about Ireland: If you want to go to the bathrooms in a mall-type-place, you have to pay. It's only 20 cents, but still, what the fuck is that all about. And secondly, if I wanted a packet of ketchup to go with my fries, it was 15 cents per packet. Christ, those Irish bastards are just trying to squeeze money out of me any way they can. But there was no tax on anything, so that kinda made up for it. I guess.

All together it was a wonderful vacation and I loved every single minute of it. Keri's roommates and friends were the nicest people in the entire world and I had a good time with all of them. Keri, you were a marvelous host, even if you didn't feed us at all. I mean I know I need to lose weight, but you didn't have to be so blunt about it. I know you're going to be sad to come home, but I'm looking forward to it like a banshee. How am I going to survive with only J.P at Christmas? Who will I drink mom and dad's liquor with? WHO KERI, WHO? Bet you didn't think of that before you signed your soul over to Ireland for semester. Thank you for allowing us to trash your room for a week straight, for laughing at me when I said "I have 10 dollars in euro" and trying your best to explain to us how to get to the Blarney Castle. Sorry I said the word "bus" 8000 times in one conversation. I WAS CONFUSED. I love you, and see you in about a month, rounding up.


Earth Rooster said...

Welcome back! Now that you are home, can you please get Jenn out of her funk?

Sounds like you had a great time in the homeland.

Timmortal said...

Yo what up BEEEEYOOTTCCHHHH!!! Jenn sold out to ya huh, playin that shit and all. So, where'd you sauce it up before you did that. Are you guys freinds in real life? What's the story. Help a brotha out.

Jenn said...

Tim, Katie and I were married once.

I didn't sell her out. She pretended to be me (which I let her) and said I was married! She caused an uproar. That's why I love her.

d. li said...

Thanks for commenting in my blog, haha. How'd you find it?

The Bears are legitimate NFC contenders (I realize you're probably just a diehard fan and they're contenders every year to you) and I love what Vasher and the Bears D are doing this year to win games in spite of an anemic offense. I'd like to see whether a strong Seattle offense (Seattle being the other leader in the NFC race) would be cancelled out by da Bears' crushing D. Da Bears would have to create turnovers and score with a squad that can; their defensive squad. How about them Giants though; if Feely can start kicking some field goals, I'd like to see the Giants play the Bears.

Sorry if I totally raped your journal! Maybe you wanted to talk about Da Bears, maybe not.