Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

I think I have a problem. That problem is the "Buy it NOW!" button on Ebay. I bought three books the other day and a cd today. THERE ARE REASONS THOUGH. One of the books was 1 penny. Literally one penny. Or not literally cause it was $3.49 for the shipping, but still, $3.50 for a book? Sold. Another one was 27 cents (is there no "cents" sign on the keyboard? Or am I handicapped?) and another was $1.03. I know, big spender for that last one. So overall I spent about $12 for three books. Christ on a cracker, I love Ebay.

The books, incase you care, which you don't but I'm telling you anyways because all this blog seems to be becoming is my book report, were The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter (another one I stole from Jason Mulgrew because American Dream WAS that good), City of God by E.L Doctorow and The Human Stain by Phillip Roth, both taken off the 1001 Books list. I finished Atonement a couple days ago and though it got off to a slow start ended up being pretty good. It didn't make me cry, but it had World War II (I accidentley did '!!' instead of 'II' at first and for some reason that really made me laugh. World War !! Exclamation! Ok, maybe it wasn't so funny) in it and I'm a complete sucker for anything World War I or II ( I ain't gonna discriminate) related. Good god, you can't even read this paragraph because of all the paranthesis. But am I going to fix that? No.

Those books better come soon because I'm trying to read The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova right now and it is the most terrible book in the entire world. I started it two or so months ago but stopped once I got something new and am just reading it as a filler now. I can't even describe how awful this book is. If I read the words "gasped" or "shuddered" one more fucking time I'm going to burn this book (which would be pretty daring on my part - my mom's always told us 'Books are our friends!', I wish I was kidding). But really, if anyone has read this book, actually finished it (I'm only page 268 out of 600-something) and enjoyed it, I don't think I could ever talk to you again. Someone really tell me if you've read it and liked it though. It was a best seller so someone out there has. If you're too ashamed to admit it though, I don't blame you. I would be too.

Also, I just bought a cd on Ebay BUT IT WAS AN IMPORT SO IT WOULDA BEEN REALLY EXPENSIVE AT BEST BUY. I only paid $12.48 for it PLUS I didn't go to the bar tonight, so that totally justifies it. It's by Peter Bjorn and John called "Writer's Block". Find them on Myspace (my other new music obsession, right now I'm listening to Albert Hammond Jr's [from the Strokes] album) and if you don't like the song Paris 2004 or Young Folks, you've got some issues.

What the fuck has happened to the Bears since losing the Superbowl. They've basically imploded it seems. Thomas Jones was traded to the Jets and now Lance Briggs wants to be traded too. There was a big mess about renewing Lovie Smith's contract and Ron Riveria didn't leave on the best terms either. You're supposed to all be one big happy family, according to me at least. Fucking act like it.

I bought some new green gym shoes the other day (at Payless nonetheless, another example of my big spenderness) and the check-out lady said "Oh!! And the parade is this weekend!", like she was practically reading my mind. I was all "I know! I had green shoes but I've had them for so long there's holes in the bottom so these are perfect." Everyone really IS Irish on Parade Day, even the Hispanic Payless Shoe Store lady.

Yesterday I went over to Megan's and we watched Supernanny and Rick Steve's Europe, made cupcakes and decorated them. How old am I again, because whenever I go over to Megan's I seem to turn into a 46 year old married mother of three or something. Not that I don't have fun doing it though. Megan, being my best friend and extremely funny and me, being the most easily amused person in the entire world, are probably the best combination in the entire world. She makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I don't even want to imagine how boring my life would be without her. I mean I'd drink a lot less, sure, but man without her, life would be pretty dreary. I totally got tres tres lucky in the best friend AND sister department. I must have been Florence Nightengale in a former life or something. We DO share a birthday so it's totally plausible.

The other day at work some old guy came in and as I was helping him said "WHAT ARE YA, 6 FEET TALL?" No, old-ass man, I am not 6 feet tall, I am 5'10 goddamnit. What makes you think you can say that to me? I can't say "Wow, you really have that old man stink going on, don't you?" or "Does everyone get that wrinkly when they're as close to their death bed as you are?" NO, because that would be considered "rude", so why do you think you can say that to me? No I don't play basketball, no I don't play volleyball, no I'm not wearing heels. And I'm not even THAT tall. Tall, but not Lisa Leslie-tall for fucks sake. Aggravated.

Eight fascinating paragraphs! You're welcome!