Thursday, December 09, 2004

Do You Believe In What You See?

Hey motherfuckers. I don't have school for six weeks. I had to turn in my last final today, a three page paper I did in two hours. That's quality work. It was quite possibly the shittiest paper I have ever written, but I don't give a fuck. We'll see how much longer I keep up the hardass image of "I don't care about school" when the grades roll in, but I'm going with it for now. I wish I could sit around on my fat ass all day over break, but I have to trade having class at 2:00 four days a week for working basically a fulltime job back at The UPS Store. Now school really isn't sounding so bad anymore.

Emily keeps complaining that she's going to be so bored over break because even though she has two jobs, she really doesn't work that much at either one of them. It's funny to me to hear people say "I'm so bored, I wish I worked more. I can't stand just laying around all day." It's like these people have something in them called "motivation." I'm really not even sure what that word means because I have none of it. No job? Fuck yeah bitch. No school? Sweetass. Sit on my ass all day and do nothing? Sounds like the life to me. I have this nagging feeling that someday, having none of this so-called "motivation" is going to fuck me over. I can just imagine the conversation between me and my parents now.

Mom: Kate, you graduated school 5 years ago. Are you planning on getting a job and oh say, moving out anytime soon? Your father and I were really looking forward to that empty nest sometime soon.
Me: (I am now morbidly obese, live in the basement and eat a diet consisting solely of Cheetos) Ehh, not really. I'm kinda tired today. I think I'm going to take a nap.
Dad: But you just got up two hours ago. And really? You don't want to find a job and move out? Really?
Me: Well maybe I can look tomorrow, but a Real World:Dover marathon is on, so I'm not making any promises. Get off my back about it anyways. I do what I want, bitches.

Ok, so that conversation with my parents would not go anything like that at all. They plan on moving to Michigan as soon as J.P graduates college and would never be that nice to me about getting a job. It would go more along the lines of "Go out and get a goddamn job or we'll kill you. I swear to god we'll kill you." Hugs and kisses to you both too. They really are a loving duo, I swear.

I mentioned before that J.P, Keri and I were getting our mom and dad a ride in a hot air balloon for Christmas. My brother was supposed to put the money in my account the other day and was going to let me know when he did so. He did that by leaving me an IM saying "The eagle has landed. But check first", meaning make sure the money is in there before ordering it. I thought this was really funny because, as I've said before, I get a kick out of lame things. I was trying to think of something funny to say back to him, so a few hours later I was talking to him (he left me the IM while I was at class) and I said back, "The snake has been spotted." He was like, "What? What the hell does that mean?" C'mon you bastard. You told me "the eagle has landed" and I got what that meant. You mean you can't figure out what"the snake has been spotted" meant? Do you have to make me feel like a dumbass? It means I got the money, asshole. I'm done trying to be funny to other people because it's obvious I only amuse myself.

Sorry, lame story. It's the best I've got today.

Here are some songs you absolutely have to download, from the Garden State soundtrack.
- In the Waiting Line by Zero 7
- Let Go by Frou Frou
- Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine
- The Only Living Boy in New York by Simon and Garfunkel
- One of These Things First by Nick Drake
- New Slang by The Shins
- Caring is Creepy by The Shins

Jenn, I think you would really like the Zero 7 song because it sounds Portishead-y to me. Keep in mind I've only heard a handful of Portishead songs, but goddamnit, we need to finally find a song we both love. So get on it bitch and tell me if you like it or not. Do it already!

Well I think this is goodbye for me. Don't cry, I promise I'll still post sporadically. It is practically below freezing in my basement though, just keep that in mind if you're wondering why I'm not updating. I bet I'm so bored over break I post every day, but shut up about it already and pretend you're going to miss me. And don't think that just because I'm leaving tomorrow that you don't have to comment on this post. I'll be checking this before the mom comes to pick me up, thank you very much. Don't forget I have a phone too, so text messages and phone calls will be considered invaluable to me. You're all invaluable in my book, bitches.


Jenn said...

What's up MA?! At LEAST you did your final, Senora I don't give a fuck.

Your conversation with your parents was fabulous! One of my co-workers lives off of Cheetos when she doesn't have money for lunch. And just recently the keyboard at the workstaion she sits at wouldn't function right. Turns out she somehow managed to get a Cheeto stuck in it. So we, as her co-workers and friends, made sure to let I.T. know how it got broken. Fatass. Don't be so harsh on yourself. Leave the name calling to me. It's more fun that way.

We both like 'Glory Box' ho. And Bjork songs. You're so quick to forget. But not me. I cherish our similar likings and enjoy the conversation we have about them. I'm glad to know that it means just as much to you. Thanks a bunch! Damn Kenoshan's. I can't download songs. You know this, asshole. I think you do it just to make me cry. Katie - "Jenn, download this song!! Oh yeah, you don't have a computer, loser. HAHAHAH" Jenn - *cries. Thanks Kathryn.

I really am gonna miss you :'( I don't think you should be getting time off. I would like to speak with the Dean please. I will call you and text you and it'll be glorious! I too feel that our time together is invaluable. Ariel's supposed to be text messaging us when she picks up Jason. That bitch better not forget!

Jay said...

someday katie, you and I and your friend emjo are gonna get together and have hat sox before me and her kick you out of the bed at 4am in the morning to go buy smokes and donuts.

anyways, speaking of break time, I been meaning to ask you a serious question

how do kenoshan's celebrate christmas?

from what I've heard on internet sites, you guys string up empty cans of Blatz and Milwaukee's Best and then gather around the hot plate and sing the theme to "welcome back kotter." and instead of kissing under the mistletoe, you have "Skol-ing" standing next to the picture of Ditka. (for those who do not know what Skol-ing is, its like instead of shaking hands, ancient vikings and kenoshans would slam foreheads together as a form of greeting whilst yelling "SKOL!!!")

so I figured instead of trusting those nasty internet sites which may help the terrorists win because they hate our freedom and are in league with john kerry, liberals, democrats, and dan rather, I'd ask an honest to god kenoshan.

Anonymous said...


Jenn said...

COME BACK, COME BACK! It's just right without you here! BOO! COME BACK!