Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Who Wants A Postcard?

While in my history of India from 1700-1947 (fascinating class, I'll lend you my notes to read in your spare time) class this afternoon, I needed to do something to keep me from lapsing into a coma, so I made a list of all the places I need to visit before I die. I love making lists about anything, plus it entertained me for at least 25 minutes, so everyone wins. I now present to you my future vacations.

Australia - I've wanted to go here since I was a wee little lad (laddette?) so I could see a real kangaroo. They were my favorite animals since their name starts with a "K", as does mine if you weren't aware. Pretty smart logic for a 5 year old, if I do say so myself. I also would love to see the Sydney Opera House and find Nemo in the harbour.

Paris - Who doesn't want to visit the City of Lights? My friend went there and said it smelled weird, but I think she was just being racist. I mean, c'mon, everyone loves the French, right? I took French in high school for four years, but all I retained was "Bonjour" which I'm sure will get me very far.

the South of France - Yes, I probably could have just said France and combined these past two, but these seem like very distinctively different places besides for the fact that Frenchies live in both of them. Ever hear anyone say, "I'm going to southern France"? No you haven't because everyone always says "the south of France" which seems so much friggin cooler. It looks like an awesome place, and I would like to frequent it when I marry a rich man.

London - I'm sure I've mentioned it a shitload of times how I want to live in or visit London, but here it is again. I love British accents and I love me some crooked teeth even more. And I want to ride in the giant ferris wheel.

Amsterdam - I need to check out that red light district I've heard so much about. Plus I'm part Dutch. And want to wear wooden shoes. And love tulips. It's a match made in heaven.

Ireland - I have to visit the homeland at least once in my life. I'm pretty sure it's required just like if you're Muslim, you're supposed to visit Mecca at least once. Hopefully I'll be able to cross this one off the list by next Thanksgiving.

Norway, Finland & Sweden - I thought I just wanted to go to Norway to see the fijords (or is that Finland? I might be making shit up), but I figured I might as well just take out all of Scandinavia if I'm going to one of them. I bet after visiting there I won't be bitching anymore about 8 inches of snow. It looks tres tres pretty there and I can't wait to visit.

Mt. Vesuvius & Rome - I'm a history major, remember? Not that only historians want to go there, but I get excited about seeing where Julius Caesar once made a famous speech, or the part of Rome that Nero burned down. I'd probably go on history overload there, but I think it'd be worth it.

San Francisco - Don't worry, I'll be sure to wear some flowers in my hair.

Egypt - Especially the Pyramids. Once again, I know this place would make me go into a seizure with how much history will be thrown at me there. I'm getting a little too excited just thinking about it. When I was making this list, I was trying to think if there was any place in Africa I wanted to visit, even after I had wrote down Egypt. Does anyone else besides me tend to forget Egypt is a part of Africa? Of course I always remember that it is, but it always slips my mind for half a second. I'm not like Emily thinking that New England is a country all by itself, I swear.

Switzerland - I would love to be able to say someday, "Yeah, I skiied on the Swiss Alps before." After that, I'm sure going skiing on the shitty little hills in Wisconsin or Michigan would never be the same again. I also have a shitload of illegal to money to hide, so I'm thinking about stashing it in one of their banks, you know, to avoid taxes. Don't tell anyone.

I have some more, like New Zealand, Greece, Morrocco, and Fiji, but I don't feel like writing about those. I think I have more than needed there anyways. So, anyone want to go on a vacation? Let me know. I can pack in 5 minutes, bitches.


Cowe said...

I like how you mention England and Ireland, but miss out the most important place in Britian. Everyone wins, my ass.

Cowe said...

BRITISH ACCENTS? You mean English. I hate you. And my crooked teeth will never smile at you again for that. :(

Sexy_Zachary said...

Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I really liked your blog... I was really bored and decided to look at other blogs on the "recently updated list" ... I haven’t laughed that hard in couple days, so, for that, I am eternally grateful!

By the way... I completely agree with you about the South of France... The difference is comparable to that of LA and NYC (except that you're throwing a bunch of French people into the mix... And we all know what can transpire when that happens *wink* *wink*)

Bill B. said...

You're not allowed in Finland! Okay maybe you are but I don't know. I'd rather visit the crappiest places in the world where I know I'll get killed for being American, like Iraq, Syria, North Korea, etc.

Jenn said...

I want a postcard!!

And leave Emily alone. I know shit about geography except that at times it just gets in the way! Country, state, city, county? Is that country North or South? East or West? Who cares, the pilot has it all under control! I wanna be a princess in some other country. I should try to marry what's his face, you know Princess Diane's son? Then I could be Princess Jenn. I just thought of that too. It's like not even a child hood dream. Sweet huh.

Oh yeah, I wanted to tell about this kickass history book I bought in Ventura, CA. It's called "Great Mysteries of the Past." It's not by like some particular author. I fuckin' forgot. I'll check it when I get home and tell you. It's pretty rockin'. And I was at Barnes N Noble not too long ago, and I looked for that huge ass book on WWII to tell you what it was called, since you asked me ten years ago, but they didn't have it. Bastards. You probably forgot about it anyway, but I'll check next time I go. It was really good. But I think I already told you that.

Okay, I'm all done. You can go now. WAIT!! Nevermind, I just wanted to see if you'd stay. And you did! See, I'm psychic. I'm tired too, so don't pay me or my comment any mind thanks.

Peppermint Patty said...

i agree with andy, you should definetely check out scotland too. and take me with you, while you're at it!

Katie said...

Andrew - I can't believe I overlooked Wales! Thanks for pointing it out. Why was it wrong that I said "British accent"? I am just a lowly Yank, you'll have to forgive me because I apparently offended you when I said that. I still can't believe I forgot to put Wales on the list.

Jenny - First of all, it's Princess DianA and her sons name is William. I mean, if you want to marry the guy, at least know his name. And you should really know the difference between Diane and Diana. It's probably as big a deal as the difference between Jenn and Jen. Not that you would know how that feels, I'm just trying to give you an example.

Zachary - Thanks for choosing my blog and making me feel special. You're number one in my book.

Bill - Screw you. I didn't want to go to Finland that bad anyways. Have fun in North Korea! I hear it's beautiful this time of year.

Patty - I heard Scotland's awful. Don't waste your time.

Cowe said...

Yeah Katie, it's true. Scotland is a waste of time, just ask Sara. She hated it here. For future reference, say English accents, or Irish accents. I forgive you.

Jenn said...

It was a fuckin' typo! Or not, but did you have to point it out for the whole world to know. Thanks bitch. PRINCESS DIANA! There, all better now.

Andrew, quit being all emotional about it or cry about it.

Cowe said...

Quit being emotional, or cry about it? Make up your mind woman, and stop hating me. HAHAHAHAHAHA Princess Diane HAHAHAHAHAHA both the princes are ugly fuckers too, just get a group of people together to pay rent, and you could have your very own castle to play princess in.

Bill B. said...


Jay said...

you have to translate what shes from de kenoshan speak, dontcha know.

and haven't I warned you about australia enough yet? the people there are treacherous. especially the females.

Jay said...

oh yeah and you're supposed to hook me up with emily cause shes cute. shes got that come hither look in her eyes like, "lube me up and touch my dirthole, big daddy."