Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I'll Be The Shadow In The Cedar Room

I had a wonderful time skiing. Didn't fall once. Drank with my parents all three nights. Made Keri say "Over the weekend, you stupid bitch" 300 times. Taught my mom and dad how to play Asshole and Circle of Death. Made my dad angry by drinking Bud Light. Oh the horror of his children drinking a Budweiser brewed beer. All in all one of the funnest weekends I ever thought was possible when forced to hang out with my parents. Can't wait for next year. Hopefully it'll be Colorado and not Michigan though.

Jenn, the boycott's over. I just wanted to cause some blog drama myself. I feel so left out these days. If I ever buy a disposable camera, I'll put the pictures on a disk. Don't hold your breath though. And I will have a blast on all my vacations, thank you very much.

Ariel, I say "Fucking a", not "Fucking eh." Jason is Canadian, not me. Please don't mix us up ever again.

Keegan, I do not hate snow. I get sick of it, when it snows and we get about half an inch, then it turns into rain the next day and makes everything muddy. Either give me lots of snow or no snow at all. In the UP there was lots of snow, so I was loving it. My tragis yearns for you.

Bill, uh.......American Idol date tomorrow. Be there or be square, you dirty bitch. And I bought American Splendor this weekend becuase it was cheap. If it sucks, I want my $12 back, ya hear?

Gabe watches American Idol. His favorite color is blue, and his favorite tv show EVER was The Wonder Years. But don't make him watch Family Guy. I was watching "Best Week Ever" earlier and Winnie Cooper was on there. Man, if I had met her manager before her, that would've been me on there, making guest appaerances on The West Wing and the finale of NYPD Blue. I hate that bitch for stealing my dream.

Eric, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. We used to be so close, and then you just disappeared. I'm going to call 1-800-INVALUABLE if you don't come back soon.

Theron, you better leave a fucking comment soon. Or else. I'm very menacing so you should take me seriously.

Stella, I hope you're feeling better about Ziggy. Much love lady, much love.

Patty, Chicago misses you too.

Andrew, I'm so glad you love Rufus. We can be best friends now. Not that we ever weren't going to be best friends, but this whole Rufio thing has just solidified us for life. Congratulations on your new job!

All of you must go to Kazaa or whatever you use to download stuff (but don't lecture me on how I shouldn't download anything. I know I shouldn't but I'm a motherfucking badass) and look up "SNL". One of the files that should pop up is called "Funniest SNL line ever". Download it. Now. I know I have lame humor, but don't even try to tell me you didn't laugh once you saw it. It's a short clip, 20 seconds long, and I think I've watched it 30 times over the past two days. Now every sentence Emily and I say to each other ends with "....you stupid bitch." No one will find this funny at all, but thats because you're all douche bags. No offense, bitches.

8 comments:

Jenn said...

I'm glad you had fun! It sounds like you really had a blast. Yay! I wish I coulda been there. Damnit. Tell mom and dad thanks for just leaving me out. And tell Keri I wanna hear her say it "Over the weekend, you stupid bitch."

Thanks for ending the boyccott. I was seriously worried and bothered by it all. I can breath now. And get a fucking camera for fucks sake! Do I have to fucking mail you one?! Sonofabitch. Your cyber whore Gabe wants you to get one too! So get on it, bitch.

keri said...

what the frig - everyone else gets specialized portions of your blaaag, and i get jack shit. you know it wasn't easy saying "over the weekend, you stupid bitch" for you 800 times this weekend, YET i did it anyways because we o'donnells are a team (as mom would say). i don't care that you've already dedicated an entire blaaag to me before - im greedy and want more to make me feel better about myself.
with that said - have a great day!
love, sister

keri said...

goulet

Bill B. said...

Katie you silly goose I told you to RENT American Splendor, not buy it. It may not be your forte, hence the renting process in which you are able to return it (and say the disc was messed up so you get another free rental if you don't like the movie). I may not be able to make American Idol, but if you don't see me 'round, vote for Carrie for me! And what is the deal with American ______? It's like do we really need to put American in front of every single word to make it a hit. American cheese, american pie, american blahblahblah. Sheesh.

DyingBurningFighting said...

Katie. . . I don't know how to say this, but it looks like there may be just a little competition over who gets to have my baby. Jenn's made an offer and made a few good points as to why she would be a better choice (see the comment she left on my blog). Still, there's just something about stroking your tragi that. . . well let's not go there just yet.

Cowe said...

Glad you enjoyed your ski trip, it sounds like it was all fun and games. Make sure to get a camera for all your visits to places far and wide.

You can stop calling me a lazy bum now that I finally got a job. I hate waking up in the middle of the night though, now that I have to get up early :(.

theron said...

the wine i am drinking features crisp red apple flavors with hints of buttery pear and spice and is, apparently, an alcoholic manifestation of the sheer joy of living, and, like a field of flowers or a brilliant sunset, meant to be shared. but i am drinking it all to myself, because i am a vile, prurient motherfucker without compassion, a sense of human warmth or moral compass.

when my fourth grade report on wilson "snowflake" bentley, which postulated that in addition to proving that, indeed, "no two snowflakes are alike," mr. bentley's microphotography innnovations were essentially a product of his sublimated homosexuality, received neither the classroom accolades nor sense of academic import i felt it warranted, i swore off all snow-related activities for good, so i, personally, have never been skiing, but i sure hope you had fun!

presented here, for your amusement, is what my alter-ego, peckerbot, proclaimed to some random myspace acolyte naught but a few hours ago:

i want to make slow, passionate love to you or your thighs while throbbing uncontrollably, explosively, on a hot ecuadorean dancefloor slick with sweat and diluted, shimmering pools of cachaca, the active ingredient in the famously potent brazilian caipirinha, which is, at this particular establishment, concocted with fresh fruit juices, absinthe and sugar cane alcohol and served with a sort of indifferent, even self-destructive, abandon. imagine it! 300 deranged units, whipping and swinging limbs in a thrilling kinaesthetic frenzy, spilling genitals and drinks all over the place and in perfect time to the crushing, oppressive post-disco beats!!!

it will be so good!

obligating people to entertain my fantasies is the purest joy i know!

Jay said...

you left me out too. goddamnit

no hat sox for you, you fucking kenoshan.