Wednesday, March 30, 2005

We Are Siamese If You Please

Dying to hear about my motherfucking awesome Easter Weekend: Doin it Sister Style? I thought so. Keri finally got here Friday and an hour later we started drinking. That night it was just me and her because DeKalb sucks, but we had fun anyways. Neither of us was getting drunk even though we had about 18 beers between us. She forgot her fucking Spice Girls cd so the dance party was called off, but I'm sure my neighbors were happy they were spared that. WE watched Anchorman and goddamn that movie is hysterical when you're drunk. PANDA WATCH.

Saturday we were up at the ungoldy hour of 11:00 so we went out for breakfast. We didn't realize it until a waitress called us out on it, but Keri was wearing green pants and a black hoodie and I was wearing a green hoodie and black pants. We like to color coordinate our outfits, what now bitches? Later we went to go see Hotel Rwanda at the Campus Cinema and let me tell you, seeing that movie is not a good way to start off the night. We were both like, "Uhh....I feel kinda wrong wanting to get drunk right now after seeing a million dead bodies and crying through half the movie." But we're tough bitches, so eventually the drinking commenced. My friend Sara came over and we did Drunk Easter Egg dying. We wrote mature things on the eggs like "Ya stupid bitch" (me) "You smell like poo" (Sara) and "WHAMMY" (Keri). We were going to hide them after midnight but instead played a million games of Asshole. When Keri was finally President, she made up the greatest rule ever. After each sentence you have to say " my pants."

"Keri, it's your turn to my pants."
"Whos turn is my pants?"
"Goddamnit, thanks for screwing me my pants."
"Who needs a my pants?"
"Quit being a pussy and my pants."
If anyone of you play Asshole, do that rule next time. Do it bitches, just do it.

Then the drunk phone calls started after Sara left and Carly went to bed. We must have called about 8 of my friends (some of them multiple times, my apologies) and 6 or 7 of Keri's friends. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard at Keri. She is one of the funnest drunk people in the world and for that, I thank you sister. We woke up the next morning and after laying in bed together for awhile (we're sisters, SICK) I hid the easter eggs for her to find. I'm going to be such a goddamn good mom someday. Well besides for the fact that I had to look up online HOW TO BOIL EGGS. My mom got a big kick out of that. Then we dressed up in our Sunday best and went out to eat at Baker's Square. Thanks for lunch again lady. It was such an AFTERNOON DELIGHT. Goddamnit why didn't you leave Anchorman for me. You panda jerk.

Getting trashed makes for a good holiday weekend. One of the best Easter I've ever had, thank you very much for gracing me with your presence Seeeeeestor.

Yesterday me and Emily went to see Sideways and it was pretty good. Not "one of the best films of the year" like every critic and their mother called it, but nonetheless, a good movie. And in case you were wondering, Emily made me download The Boy Is Mine by Brandy and Monica so we can karaoke to it on my 21st birthday. The sad part is how excited the both of us are about it. I'm Brandy and she's Monica. I need to stop telling you all this. Only 43 days away, bitches.

Right now I'm talking to Jenn and she's delirious. Also kind of freaking me out. Jenn, just cause you're in the Albuqurque Playaz Club doesn't mean you're a gangsta to the core, so stop trying to brag to me. I won't think your club is cool no matter how much you tell me about it. No I'm not jealous that you're in the club and I'm not, so shut up about it already. I am kinda jealous that you're in the Straight Up Boxing Club though. How did you get one of those coveted invites? Lucky. Go get some sleep you pussy.

It was 70 degrees out today. Please don't let the cold weather come back, bitches.


Ariel said...

I want to see Hotel Rwanda.

I bet anchorman sucks!

I dyed Easter Eggs too but I wasn't drunk and it wasn't nearly as much fun this year as it usually is, not sure why.

Whenever I get a fortune cookie I always end it with "in bed", try it because it's really fun. That "in my pants" thing reminded me of that.

I'd like to say Thank You again for my drunken voice mail!

I can't believe you didn't know how to boil an egg. Maybe you were kidding about that.

There's a sex shop where Jason lives called Afternoon Delight, no I've never been there.

This warm weather better damn well stay, if mother nature knows what's good for her!

The boy is MINE!

Jenn said...

I was wondering where the hell you had gotten your away message from. PANDA WATCH.

Hahah! I've never played Asshole, but now I want too! I could use that rule with "Categories" or "Kings" as some may call it. Score!

I'm glad you had so much fun with your sister. I still have the message you guy's left me. I LOVE IT! Keri - "My name is Kerrriiii and I looove taacoos...." Katie - "Hey Jennn, this is Kaaatie and you're probably still at the bachelorette paahhtyy (uncontrolable laughing and then your whole message is singing). If anyone wants to hear the message, just let me know, I'll have it saved for a long time.

I'm not in the fucking Playaz Club, pussy. Quit exploiting me as ghetto or I'll bust a cap in your ass!