Tuesday, May 03, 2005

The Top Three

Stupidest Things I Ever Asked My Dad When I was Little:
1. Have you ever gotten shot?
2. Have you ever seen an airplane land in the middle of the road when you were driving?
3. When you were born, was electricity invented yet?

Things I ALWAYS Do At My Own Apartment But Never At Home:
1. Put a new toilet paper roll out.
2. Start and empty the dishwasher without being asked.
3. Wake up on my own without leaving a note for someone to make sure I get up on time.

People and Places I Owe Money To:
1. The library - 30 fucking dollars.
2. My mom - $80 for my phone bill.
3. My brother - he so kindly lent me $20 on Saturday. It's gone already.

Things I Hate Right Now:
1. Mother Nature - I thought April showers were supposed to bring May flowers, not May 30 degree days. I brought my winter coats home a month ago, bitch.
2. Myself for not doing homework tonight so that I don't have to do it tomorrow.
3. Not having any food in the fridge.

Things I Have To Get Off My Chest:
1. Please everyone, stop telling me "You'll get sick of the bars soon anyways." You have no idea how much this annoys me. Just because you've been 21 for six fucking years (coughjaycough), and are an old man, don't rain on my goddamn parade. I am still young and fertile, with many years of bar-good-times ahead of me. So next time you want to tell me I'll get sick of the bars, just shut the fuck up instead.
2. When I am in my room laying down watching tv with the door closed, this obviously means I do not want you to come in and watch tv with me. If the door is closed, I am most likely crabby, which is about 75 % of the time. I thought this was an unspoken understanding. Apparently not.
3. When you know that I am completely broke and do not have a dime to my name, please do not ask me to go to Wendy's with you. Go to Wendy's if you want, I don't care at all, just don't ask me when you know I have zero dollars. And most importantly, do not come home and then eat it in front of me. People can be so cruel.

Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. Being done with school. At least until I start summer school in June. They can't make you write papers in math class.
2. Going to the bars every single night with my friends back at home.
3. Working and spending money as fast as I can earn it.

Things I Am Not Looking Forward To:
1. Having three finals next Monday.
2. Moving back home for the summer.
3. Working and spending money as fast as I can earn it.

Favorite Songs Of The Moment:
1. The live version of Drive-In Saturday by David Bowie. Thanks Bill.
2. Make War - Bright Eyes. Thanks Gabe.
3. I am the Sun, I am the Air by Morrissey.

Highlights Of The Weekend:
1. Making Carly dance with the guy who was wearing shorts at the frat party we went to. (It was free beer, get off my back about it)
2. Seeing everyone from the Habitat trip on Saturday and getting drunk with them again.
3. Not starting my research paper until 12:30 am last night. As you can tell, I always learn from my mistakes.

Favorite Memories of Florida That I Reminisced About On Saturday:
1. Natalia knocking on our door Friday morning at an ungodly hour (11:30), knowing that it was our only day to sleep in and that I planned on staying in bed until 4:00 pm. My hair literally looked like a rats nest and I had eyeliner smeared everywhere. I open the door and recoil at the bright sunlinght while Nati jumps back in horror and asks "Sorry white girl, were you still sleeping?" I reply,"You can come in, but I'm going back to bed." She told me she still has nightmares about what I looked like when I opened the door.
2. Going to the bar on St. Patty's Day and telling everyone that me, Emily and Anthony were triplets from Arkansas. Wasn't it obvious from our accents?
3. On the way home from dinner one night, Max, the Kazakstan-native-who sounds-like-he-has-a-lisp-and-its-the-most-precious-thing-ever singing Holidae Inn. "Where you at? I'm at the Holidae Inn, I already told you. Why do you keep asking me? It's the stupidest song ever."

I'm positive you had to be there for all of these to be funny, so why did I type them out anyways? Because I wanted to, that's why, bitches.

9 comments:

Jenn said...

I busted up at the shit you've asked your dad. Now I know what he taught you math wrong. "When you were born, was electricity invented yet?"

You don't do that shit at your house 'cause you know mom will. I'm the same fucking way. We use our mother's. We're bitches.

I owe lots of money to many more places than you. I WISH I could owe what you did. I'd be the happiest girl in the world!

Mother Nature is being a bitch. But maybe we should stop calling her names? We don't have any food in the fridge either. I'm hungry.

I'll go in your room whenever I damn well want. And the Wendy's thing, that just irritates the hell outta me. I fucking buy lunch for my irritating co-worker all the time just 'cause I don't want to eat in front of her, 'cause I know she's always broke, much less a friend. BOO that woman!

Glad you had fun this weekend.

I was gonna comment more, but I'm spent. Jenn out!

Ms Mac said...

My children have asked me those questions. Yes, even the electricity one. And once they asked me if I was alive when there were dinosaurs. And then today someone commented on my blog that she wishes she would have legs as good as mine when she gets to my age!!!!!

What am I? 106?????

(It's all about me, sorry)

Bill B. said...

How in the hell do you owe the library $30? I kept a book overdue for like 4 months and my fine was like 50 cents. You are really a bad person. Anyhow you so crazy, you know it's true. In the Army all my friends and I always bought lunch for each other when we were broke. We never asked for the money back because you knew that when someone asked you to go eat and you said nah I'm cool they knew you were broke and said c'mon I'm paying. Boof do you want to go to Wendy's with me...you reply with "nah you know I gotta do some things like go to home depot, nice little saturday" then I'd be like no Boof c'mon it's on me. Then we'd go eat chili with fingers in it. Fuck yeah.

doym said...

When I was a kid I asked my mum if cops used to ride around on horses when she was young, she didn’t like that much.

You only owe $130?!?! Damn I wish I was that well off, I owe something like $14000, damn you fast cars and hire purchases, you can take my life but you will never have my soul!!

Andrew said...

Guten tag,
You are my friend, sorry!!
I wish that I had some good top threes, those are pretty good.

Andrew

Jay said...

rowr, sounds like someones 28 days are just about up

and besides katie how are you going to be able to even AFFORD to go to the bars? you're broker than I am and thats saying something.

and as bill put it, how the FUCK do you owe the library 30 dollars?!?!? they charge you a quarter for a week late on a book. did you knock over an aisle or something?

and I'm not old, remember: women get old, men get dignified.

haha

Jay said...

oh and katie

you'll get bored with the bar scene

haha

Ariel said...

The questions you asked your dad made me laugh. I used to ask my dad questions like that but I can't remember any of them. You should put new toilet paper rolls out everywhere, people greatly appreciate that, or atleast I do. You probably won't get tired of going to bars since you love beer and getting shnockered. And last but not least, don't worry be happy now!

¤Lechsinska¤ said...

katie you are so hopped up on goofballs.