Friday, November 18, 2005

Sisters In The Homeland

When I saw Bob Dylan for the first time on July 15th, 2000, my friend Julie and I had a countdown going from day 80. I had never been so excited about something. I even wrote on Keri's bedroom wall at home "4 more days til Dylan" because she insisted it would wash right off (she was wrong. Sorry again Dad). I had butterflies in my stomach for a week leading up to the concert. On the day of I thought I was going to burst I was so happy and excited and high and giddy and estatic and so many other things. I thought nothing would surpass the moment of me finally seeing my idol sing Like a Rolling Stone live onstage IN THE FLESH. Sure he sounded, uh, a little different than I expected but I thought I could die happy that day.

I haven't seen Keri since September 17th. We're freakishly close sisters, so not being able to see her for so long sucks ass, to put it mildly. As she put it, "this is the longest we've been apart in 20 years, and I MISS MY OTHER HALF." Is it wrong she considers me her other half and I whole heartedly agree? If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right. That's my stance on incest too, so take it or leave it. I know this trip is going to be the best week of my life and that I'll never be able to sleep on the plane unless I have pills, knowing that Keri is going to be on the other end waiting to pick us up. I'll finally be able to get my long-awaited Irish newsboy hat! I'm going to have a Guiness in a genuine Irish pub! I'll get to see the Blarney Castle, Ring of Kerry and Cliffs of Mohr! Get a tattoo in a foreign country! I'll get raped by the Euro-Dollar conversion rate! Most importantly I GET TO BE WITH MY SISTER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. Steal her food! Wear her clothes! Take cigarettes out of her pack with she's not looking! Tell her to do things, and make her do them before she realizes what she's doing! Convince everyone we're twins! Tell lame childhood stories and annoy everyone! IT'S GOING TO BE GLORIOUS.

Anyways, I was trying to compare the me-being-excited-for-Dylan to the me-being excited-to-see-Keri, but they don't even compare.
Dylan never got a dyke haircut: Keri has.
Dylan doesn't have "coarse, scarecrow" hair: Keri does.
Dylan didn't have to write only one goddamn paper this whole semester, and instead of doing it asked his sister if she had any papers she could plagarize: Keri has.
Dylan doesn't wear my clothes and then swear he didn't, only for me to find them on his floor: Keri does.
Dylan doesn't get speeding tickets, hide it from my parents, then lose her wallet and the ticket, and still come to visit me for the weekend, driving 65 the entire way: Keri has.
Dylan wouldn't say " so I turned the lights down low, put on some luther van dross, and entertained my gentleman on my slowly spinning circle bed": Keri would.
Dylan doesn't get mistaken for my twin: Keri does.

It's a no-brainer: Keri wins over Bobby D. Kerianne, it's a good thing I love you or else I wouldn't let you fill up more than half of my suitcase with your clothes and food for Thanksgiving. I'll do my best to live up to what you told your friends about me, I don't want to dissappoint. I love you sister, and I will see you Sunday morning, bright and early. Yay!

I won't be posting until afterI come back on the 26th probably, so I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Just remember that no matter what you're doing, I'll be doing it in Ireland and having a much better time than you.


keri said...

sister! you made me cry with that post!! i cant wait for you to come because it really will be the best week of our lives. i cant even think of anything witty to say because you've made me sentimental, SOMETHING IVE NEVER WANTED TO BE. i love you gobbs and gobbs and will see you in less than 2 days!!!!! love, keri

Rat In A Cage said...

I hope you two have a blast. That last paragraph was priceless!!!

Ariel said...

That was the best blog ever! Well not THE best, but talking about seeing Dylan reminded me of how absolutly FUCKING AMAZING it was seeing Radiohead and how everytime I see them it's JUST AS AMAZING as the first time! I think they might have a new album coming out at the beginning of the year and if so perhaps another tour, WOOOFUCKINGHOOO!!!!!!

You suck btw, having a fantabulous sister AND getting to go to Ireland! Oh how I hate you so. You wanted to rub it in and make it hurt and you did, you really did (sobs). Anyway, despite my envy I still love ya and I hope you have an awesome time, obviously you will I'm sure and when you get back you'll probably write a novel about it, I can't wait!

HMT said...

Have a great Thanksgiving.

Go down to Torrence ave. and throw the horns for me. then send me the pic.

Kurt said...

payback's a bitch and I think Jenn got you back for the mention of her picture with her audio.
Enjoy Ireland