Friday, October 06, 2006

Yes I Am Nitty, Gritty And My Shirt's All Torn, But I Would Love To Spill The Beans With You Til Dawn

It's a Thursday night, and I'm on my aunt's computer, watching Oprah talk to actresses 50 and over about "aging brilliantly". While the rest of my friends are out taking advantage of $1.25 bottles. Goddamnit. This babysitting business hasn't been bad at all, but I'm ready for it to be over so I can resume my normal going-to-the-bars-five-times-a-week life. My last night is tonight, praise jesus.

One of the proudest moments of my life did happen last week though - I helped Maeve study for her spelling test. All the words were homophones (is that the right word?), like dear and deer, steel and steal ect., and she was having a lot of trouble with some of those. But you know what she got on the test? 97%, motherfuckers. She is going places someday, and most likely it will be thanks to aceing that spelling test.

I went to Borders today (while the kids were at school, you know, I needed my "me" time) and bought three books. Running with Scisscors (Augusten Burroughs), The Memory Keeper's Daughter( Kim Edwards) and A Long Way Down (Nick Hornby). Can't beat those 3 for 2 deals. Book reports by at least the end of the month, promise.

I bought jeans at the Gap two weeks ago in a size I haven't fit into since high school. It's still not a size to brag about by any means, but at least shopping for pants doesn't suck ass as much anymore. I'm sure the Gap just ups the sizes to "make you feel good about yourself" as my friend Megan put it, but I'm blocking that out of my mind. I've been slacking hardcore and really haven't lost any weight in the past few months, but I'm rejoining Weight Watchers next week, hopefully. Only 30 more pounds and then I won't be lying on my liscence anymore! Must count points and go on treadmill EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. Also, must turn into a caveman.

Sweet jesus White Sox. I had "stopped believing" (sorry Steve Perry) about a month ago, but it was still a major disappointment to not get into the play-offs at all. Ok, I'll admit it. I teared up once. ONCE. I said I would root for the Twins or Tigers, but inside I am so fucking happy that the Twins are down 0-2 against the A's and kind of pissed the Tigers tied it up today 1-1. You know what my major silver lining is though? The Bears being 4-0 right now. Fuck yes bitches, the Bears defense is DOMINATING every single offense that gets in their path this year. And Rex Grossman? Me and the rest of the city of Chicago are thanking god you were worth the wait. Just keep it up for the rest of the season. Don't pull an '05 Colts on us though - I don't think we could handle it. Everyone's saying you guys have a lot to prove against the Bills Sunday, and you do. Don't fuck it up.

I'm being a pirate for Halloween. Arrrrr matey.


Bill B. said...

Kids used to throw pennies at me and call me a homophone. Then I was all like READ (R-E-A-D) or RED (R-E-D) and they shut up. Keep on rockin' Nanny McKatie.

Kurt said...

Acing. You misspelled acing in a post about spelling! I love it.
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel tucked inside the waist band of his pants.
Bartender says, "You know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
"AAARRR!", says the pirate. "It's driving me nuts!"