I'm happy, hope you're happy too. My new favorite song: Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie. Goddamn you Bill and your good taste in music. (Don't worry, I won't mention that Joshua Kadison incident here) Not that there's anything wrong with it. I just get obsessed with a song and listen to it over and over again until it drives me crazy. I enjoy that week or two though before I move on to another song. I just wish I either had headphones here at school, our walls weren't paper thin or my roommates didn't go to bed at 11:00 pm everyday fucking night. I hate having to listen to music so softly I can barely hear it. Just think Jenn, when you finally get around to sending me Portishead, I could be goddamning you too! I bet you're excited just thinking about that, knowing how much you love that word and all.
Red Sox won again today, fuck yeah bitches. I wish I didn't have night class tomorrow, because I'm going to miss part of Game 4, but at least I'll be home by 9:00 pm. Emily and I want to drink some cheap wine during the game because it's all we can afford, but knowing her she'll back out at the last second. She better not tomorrow, I want to be drunk when the Red Sox win (knock on wood). Last time I drank that wine I got sick off it. But I'm not going to be a moron about it this time. At least I hope not. Maybe it's just another sign I need to stick soley to beer.
Emily told me tonight, that this girl Katie we know (she used to live on our floor freshman year) who lives with Chandler (the guy who took me on a date) and his 2 other guy roommates, was telling her that Chandler really expected something to happen between us after we went on the date. Her exact words were, "Chandler thought it was a real date and he really likes you, so he didn't understand why you started ignoring his calls after you went out." First of all, I took it as a real date too. I knew I didn't like him, but didn't want to just turn him down. I wore a skirt and eveything, sheesh. Second of all, I know he likes me, but he has to know I don't feel the same way about him. Thirdly, I only ignored one of his calls because it was a Sunday and I didn't feel like doing anything. Sundays are my do-nothing-stay-in-pajamas-and-don't-take-a-shower days. And I called him back Tuesday or something to make up some reason I hadn't answered the phone. To top it all off, that date was over Labor Day weekend, which was about two months ago now. When I saw him Saturday, it was his birthday, and he had a keg at his apartment. Emily and I left after 2 hours to go to another party, and he was trashed by the time we left. He said, "You're going to come back right?" while trying to grab the back of my shirt. That kind of threw me off. He's never been touchy-feely with me, and not that that was technically touchy feely, but it was in Chandler standards. I just said, "Uhh, yeah, sure" even though I knew I wasn't. He called me at some point later in the night, but I don't even remember what was said. It was late, I was drunk.
So then Emily tells me that today, and now I'm starting to feel bad. But I didn't lead him on at all, did I? He tried to kiss me twice, but I wouldn't. If I had, that definitly would have been leading him on. So I went out with him, and we've hung out since then, but I just could never "like him" like he likes me. I feel bad for him because he's such a dork, but he really is the nicest guy. He tries really hard, and it's cute, but I can't change the way I feel about him. I had a sorta tiny little crush on him the first few weeks of freshman year (he lived on my floor too, I don't know if I explained that) because we listened to the same music and stuff, but got over that real quick. But yeah, this is my lame attempt at having some drama in my life. A really nice guy likes me, but I just blow him off. I'm a whoreface.
.I'm happy, hope you're happy too
Did I do it right? Should the first letter be capitalized or lowercase? Haha goddamn I'm so funny. At least I have myself to amuse me. This is an early blog. So I might be back for more later. I had a goddamn french vanilla cappacino *sip* earlier because I'm cool, so I'll be up forever. Like normal I guess. Poli Sci test tomorrow, bitches.