Thursday, April 21, 2005

Pussy, Papers and Parents

I have a stat counter on this page, and it keeps tracks of the people who read this stupidass blog of mine. It also tells me if someone looked up a word on Google or something and my page came up. The best part - it tells me what word they searched for to get my site. I've only had it happen like 3 or 4 times so far, but I looked at it today and someone searched for the phrase "high dollar pussy" AND MY PAGE CAME UP. I wrote about about how I saw Million Dollar Baby and "cried like a pussy" during it. Then in another post I said "I'm not even high." Put the three together and I've got me some high dollar pussy on this blog. I love it. Sorry to disappoint that guy who was looking for porn. Do people really look for porn on Yahoo anyways? Apparently.

One of my research papers got pushed back to next Monday, May 2nd. Praise the lord. I don't care what I said about you before, my tiny Korean teacher, you're my favorite now. Plus you make me laugh everytime you say "Anything curious?" when you want to ask us if we have any questions. You're the best Hee-jin.

The battery in our smoke alarm just went out 3 hours ago so it's making the chirping noise. And it won't stop. I feel like I'm going through Chinese torture or something. I was hoping it took some AA's, but of course not, it needs one of those goddamn rectangle type batteries. My dad would be so ashamed of me right now, not replacing the battery within 15 seconds. Other things my dad would be horrified to learn about me:
1. Sometimes, once in a great while, I accidently leave the oven on after I take the food I was cooking out. Last year in my old place I left the gas on all night. After I realized it, I was thanking god I didn't light a cigarette in the house that morning.
2. That I don't lock car doors within 5 seconds of getting in them.
3. I drank Budweiser once. BUT I SWEAR I HATED IT THE ENTIRE TIME.
4. One time while playing with matches I burned a hole in my pillow case.
5. I hate Steely Dan.

My dad and I have a weird relationship. I think the correct term for it is "awkward." Why that is, I have no idea. I don't like doing things with just my dad. When we go out to eat, he asks me questions like "so what are you going to do with your life?" No dad, you're not supposed to ask me stupid questions like that, that's what uncles are supposed to ask at Christmas parties. As my father you should KNOW that I have no plan and will be living in the basement until I'm 45. But it's weird, even the things we do have in common we're total opposites about. For example, we both love classic rock. But he hates Bob Dylan, whereas I love him (have I mentioned that?). The ONE Grateful Dead song he likes, One More Saturday Night, is one of the Grateful Dead songs I hate with a passion. He can listen to Styx, Rod Stewart, the Doobie Brothers, Boston and the Eagles and not want to throw up. He doesn't like the Beatles or Led Zeppelin.....I think you get the picture.

One thing we do have in common - we both suck ass at math. When I was in first grade I remember asking him to check my math homework, to make sure it was all right. He OK'ed it, but when I got it back the next day I had one wrong. The lesson I learned? Never let your dad check your homework when he's drinking with his friends. The lesson he learned? Your daughter will never forget the time you screwed her on her math homework and will remind you of it for the rest of your life. The math genes don't run in the family, bitches.

6 comments:

Jay said...

katie, I alwys knew you were a high class piece of ass

its why we're destined to have hat sox someday baby

Bill B. said...

It's good to see you're finally at peace with the Asian community. I'm sure Mr. Hiroshito would be happy for you. Also your pops sounds cool and he's just doing his fatherly duties in making sure his little daughter gets all grown up and takes care of business. So that leaves me with one question, What are you going to do with your life Katie? Mwahaha ponder on that.

Slipperysnake said...

i stole your idea about the stat counter. muchos thanks!

Ms Mac said...

Hiya, I thought I'd better say Hi seeing as I dropped in and you check your stats!

I'm so frickin excited that I'm in a list of links with Zach Braff by the way! Ta!

Kenneth said...

I, too, hate Steely Dan

Jenn said...

Where are all these people coming from? It's weird.

Dude, your blog would also come up if I Googled the word "drink" I'm sure.