Thursday, November 03, 2005

One Of These Things First

I'm going to my two classes tomorrow. REALLY, I AM. Just because I haven't been to them the past three times doesn't mean I can't wipe the slate clean and start all over. Teachers like when you don't show up. It proves to them how much of a badass you really are, and really what's college all about, other than proving your badassness to your professors?

My friend Stephanie (who I call Step-on-me because I'm just THAT CLEVER) is taking me and Emily to eat in the dorms tomorrow. She's an RA so she gets free food, blah blah, and so we take advantage of her every chance we get. It always makes me realize how I never fully appreciated Nacho Thursdays when I lived in the dorms freshman year. You don''t know what you got til it's gone. Joni Mitchell never lies.

Then we're going to see the movie In Her Shoes at the cheap theatre and I know already that I am going to cry. A lot. Like whole-pocket-size-of-Kleenex a lot. The movie's about sisters and since I haven't seen my sister in forever and miss her like a witches tit (you like that Ker?) the whole time I'm going to be thinking, through my tears, "WHY CAN'T I FIGHT AND THEN TEARFULLY MAKE UP WITH MY SISTER? GOD I HATE IRELAND. ALSO WHY IS EMILY EATING ALL MY POPCORN? SHE IS A WHORE." And just so you know, I'm the pretty one, Cameron Diaz. You're the "chubby" one, Toni Collette. Being "chubby" in movies just means you're a size 8, so don't fret. But I'm still the pretty one so don't you forget it.

I'm getting sick. Awesome.

Tuesday night Emily and I went out and when I came home I threw myself in bed and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and Carly asked me "Do you remember coming into my room last night?" I SLEEP-WALKED AGAIN. This time I just opened the door, stared at her then shut the door and left. I am so fucking creepy. I've realized this happens when I got to bed drunk. Why is it starting now at 21 and not at 15 when I started drinking? My friend Megan reminded me of when I sleepwalked into my parents room over the summer, and I was drunk that night too. I have turned into a creepy drunk person. I'm going out tonight and I'm really going to tell Emily and Carly to lock their doors when they go to bed. It's for their own safety.

4 comments:

Ms Mac said...

Nacho Thursdays? I want a Nacho Thursday!

Bill B. said...

Kaaaaaaaaaatie Dahhhhhhhhhhling that is kinda creepy sleepwalking into other rooms. Imagine what insane things you've probably done while you were asleep like going to the fridge and eating all the ginger snaps without sharing them. I can't believe you're going to get to go to Ireland AND see Dylan there. That's insane and you are the best concert goer EVER. Tell Mr. Dylan that I send him salutations from the states. Also drink Guinness for the Billster. Guinness rules here and I can imagine that in your homeland it will taste like gold.

Rat In A Cage said...

You can come drink at my place.

Cowe said...

HAHAHAHA, awesome, you're a sleepwalker.