The Peter Bjorn and John concert was most likely, one of the most magical moments of my life. Free tickets? Check. Not-too-crowded venue? Check. Awesome opening band? Check. PB&J playing every single one of my favorite songs? Check. Peter jumping into the crowd on the last song, my FAVORITE song, and playing the guitar surrounded by people about five feet from me? Check. Me getting backstage and having a threesome with Bjorn and John? Maybe next time. And there will be a next time - they're coming back September 25th and come hell or high water, I will be there. Aw hell yeah.
I chopped off my hair. Like really really chopped it off. As in 13 inches, which I donated to Locks of Love because I'm such a wonderful person and all that jazz. I wash it, I let it air dry, and I am good to go - pretty much the best haircut ever. I've gotten a lot of compliments on it (I know, I can't believe how humble I am either), but most importantly, I love it. Whenever I get it cut, the lady will ask if I part my hair, and I say, yes, I part it on the left, my left. It never fails that they part it for me, about a centimeter from the middle of my head and it looks awful. I was panicing for a couple of minutes looking at my newly shorn hair all wet and parted basically in the middle because it looked terrible, but as soon as I put my part in the right place I stopped hyperventilating because I looked smashing. Ok, Ok I'll get over myself, but really, I love it. Love it love it love it.
The nail on my ring finger must have gotten snagged on something and since I can't seem to stop picking at it for the life of me, I will soon have a very short nail on that finger, a very tragic thought for me. I realized I am seriously one of those Oh-My-God-I-Broke-A-Nail-Type Girls, and I am totally okay with it. Bring me the clear nail polish PRONTO.
I finally sucked it up last week and paid my library fine - a whopping $17.60. I had been on eBay scouring for books to buy when I realized I needed to stop being a dumbass and BUYING books when I could just pay my fine and then get books for FREE. Sometimes you have to spell it out for me. I've been on a reading binge this past week, reading The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon and Lucky by Alice Sebold. Chabon's book was pretty good because I fell in love with the cranky balding Jewish policeman character and the concept was different - Israel had only existed for three months before they lost a war to the Palestinians so the US government let all the Jews come to Alaska for 60 years until the "Reversion" was to go into effect and the land would return Alaska and the Jews wouldn't be able to live there anymore. And it was kinda a murder mystery. But not even really cause I don't get into mysteries really. Really. Lucky was okay. I like her fiction better, The Lovely Bones, actually one of my favorite books ever. Lastly I'm finally reading some Salman Rushdie, Midnight's Children, which I should be doing right now but instead I'm typing out a stupid post. And going on way too long about this subject. Moving on.
Since I've been working five days a week here I've been getting off every Saturday, something that enormously excites me. Last weekend I had Friday off too because my friends and I were supposed to go camping, and as it happens with every other plans we make, of course it never happened. Instead I spent about 95% of the weekend in Diana's pool, having a grand ol' time. It was probably one of the funnest weekends, and all we did was drink and swim. I don't want summer to ever ever end. Maybe I COULD live in weather like this year round. Must. Stop. Crazy. Talk.
I want to see Superbad super bad. Oh man, the creatives juices are flowin now!
The short, Mexican mailman who drops off the mail at work has a crush on me. Every Saturday he would bring in pizza for lunch and I would let him listen to the Cubs game, if the Sox game wasn't already on. I haven't seen him lately because I haven't been working Saturdays, but he came in today instead with lunch. Everytime he asks me if I believe in God, and I never really have an answer cause I don't know what my opinions are when it comes to religion anymore, but if I have to become a Bible-thumper for free pizza, I'll do it.
This lady who has a mailbox here at the store came in a few minutes ago and said "Hi Katie Bear!" Now I love this lady, she's really nice and we always talk for a few minutes, but hold the phone, did you really just call me "Katie Bear"? Why do I always have animal nicknames, with K-dawg in college and now this? I get it - clearly I do not look human, but must you lay it on so thick?
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
North American Scum
Lollapaloza is this weekend and again, because I'm an idiot, didn't get tickets. I was trying to talk my brother into trying to sneak in with me Saturday but he's being a douche and won't go with me. (The Cold War Kids Jay, THE COLD WAR KIDS!) but today I got a phone call that made it all better. I didn't recognize the number and being a pussy, I didn't pick it up but they left a message. It was my favorite radio station XRT calling to tell me I WON TICKETS TO SEE PETER, BJORN AND JOHN AT A LOLLAPALOZA AFTERSHOW ON SUNDAY. Aw hell yeah bitches! This is a band I've been dying to see for awhile and now I get to see them FOR FREE. There was no way to even buy tickets, you had to win them through the radio staion, a fact that makes it even cooler. This is so much better than the Chris Cornell concert I won but couldn't go to. I AM SO EXCITED.
I went on a date last night with this guy I've known since I was 17, Jim. It was weird in the fact that normally we're always drunk when we hang out and I've known him for so long but the fact that I've known him for so long also made it better than a normal first date. Make sense? Thought so. He's a giant asshole but he's nice to me, and plus who doesn't want to be taken out to dinner? I really doubt this is going to go anywhere, but it would be nice if it did. Plus maybe it would get Will to stop basically declaring his love for me (we went out for TWO MONTHS, PLEASE SHUT UP), and that would be a very nice thing.
So I kind of had a mental breakdown at work Tuesday. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me, it's not even like customers were being assholes, but I just got so overwhelmed and was on the verge of tears for an hour until I actually DID cry. Not sobbing hysterically by any means, but even our UPS driver told me to go have a cigarette because he could tell I was so upset. I know (almost) everyone hates their job and complains, so I try not too that much, but damn. I just hate this place so much. I know I need to get a new job, I'M TRYING but the trying ain't going nowhere. Katie, a year after graduation: still at the fucking UPS Store.
New musical obsessions: Elvis Perkins and LCD Soundsystem. Check out Elvis if you want to cry and LCD if you want to dance. I remix them cause I like to cry while I dance.
I finished Harry Potter On Monday night, or more like Tuesday morning since it was 3:00 am. That is turtle speed compared to my sister who was done by 10:30 pm Saturday (the day after we bought it) and my brother who started reading around 3:00 pm Monday and had only 100 pages left when I went to bed at 3:00 am. I'm not going to spoil anything but still, maybe you shouldn't read the rest of the paragraph if you don't want to know anything. All I can say is I was disappointed. It could have been an awesome ending but instead it was very non-awesome. I expected better out of you J.K. Much better. Still though, a good book. Just not the ending I wanted or expected. Wah wah, why doesn't the world cater to me.
Totally thought I was getting paid today. Totally did not.
I went on a date last night with this guy I've known since I was 17, Jim. It was weird in the fact that normally we're always drunk when we hang out and I've known him for so long but the fact that I've known him for so long also made it better than a normal first date. Make sense? Thought so. He's a giant asshole but he's nice to me, and plus who doesn't want to be taken out to dinner? I really doubt this is going to go anywhere, but it would be nice if it did. Plus maybe it would get Will to stop basically declaring his love for me (we went out for TWO MONTHS, PLEASE SHUT UP), and that would be a very nice thing.
So I kind of had a mental breakdown at work Tuesday. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me, it's not even like customers were being assholes, but I just got so overwhelmed and was on the verge of tears for an hour until I actually DID cry. Not sobbing hysterically by any means, but even our UPS driver told me to go have a cigarette because he could tell I was so upset. I know (almost) everyone hates their job and complains, so I try not too that much, but damn. I just hate this place so much. I know I need to get a new job, I'M TRYING but the trying ain't going nowhere. Katie, a year after graduation: still at the fucking UPS Store.
New musical obsessions: Elvis Perkins and LCD Soundsystem. Check out Elvis if you want to cry and LCD if you want to dance. I remix them cause I like to cry while I dance.
I finished Harry Potter On Monday night, or more like Tuesday morning since it was 3:00 am. That is turtle speed compared to my sister who was done by 10:30 pm Saturday (the day after we bought it) and my brother who started reading around 3:00 pm Monday and had only 100 pages left when I went to bed at 3:00 am. I'm not going to spoil anything but still, maybe you shouldn't read the rest of the paragraph if you don't want to know anything. All I can say is I was disappointed. It could have been an awesome ending but instead it was very non-awesome. I expected better out of you J.K. Much better. Still though, a good book. Just not the ending I wanted or expected. Wah wah, why doesn't the world cater to me.
Totally thought I was getting paid today. Totally did not.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Countdown: 5 Hours And 39 Minutes
So yeah, I stood in line this morning before work with my sister to get a wristband for later today when the last Harry Potter book comes out, what's it to you? The fact that I'm 23 and did this just makes me even cooler. I just got off the phone with Keri and decided we're going to go to the bar for an hour or so before we leave to get in line at 11:30. Going to the bar, then to get Harry Potter, then home to read. We're awesome. So so so fucking excited to read this book. And so so so sad at the same time that it's the last one. I will be done with this book come Monday MARK MY WORDS. I am so ominous.
I am seriously going to have an intervention for all the old ladies of Oak Lawn that order shit from QVC and the Home Shopping Network. TURN OFF YOUR TV OR GET A FUCKING HOBBY THAT DOESN'T COST YOU MONEY. How about knitting? Yarn can't be that much. Or get into pro wwrestling like my grandma was. Anything but ordering off those goddamn tv stations. Do you ever actually KEEP anything? It drives me crazy to see them come in here day after day. Every single week the same people come in and spend $50 or more just returning everything they buy. I thought you were supposed to get wiser with age. Apparently not.
After way too many years of working at this here UPS Store, guess what I just done earned. PAID HOLIDAYS AND A WEEKS PAID VACATION, bitches. Aw hell yeah, moving on up. I hope I stay here for the rest of my life!
One time, at least six or seven years ago, my mom came back from food shopping and said, "I got something for you Kate." I was hoping ice cream, maybe swiss cheese or a pony, but it was none of the above. I asked what and she proudly held up a bottle and said "KETHUP!" It's been an ongoing joke that only I find funny since then because while it's very true that I like ketchup, I don't think I've ever jumped up and down or drooled from the mouth when my mom has brought some home. Everytime she says she bought me something since then, my first guess is always KETCHUP!, but the other day she was looking in the pantry for some reason and goes, "Kate, we have paper bags!" If I had been packing a lunch at the time or trying to make puppets this would have made sense, but I was eating a bowl of cereal. Some kids (23 year olds?) get excited over cupcakes or Doritos, but my mom gets me ketchup! and paper bags! Life is good living at home.
Last week I got a free gift card in a magazine or something for a free book on tape, or rather book I could put and listen to on my iPod. It's really bizarre listening to a book on my iPod though. I feel like I'm concentrating so hard on trying to remember names and keeping the story line straight that I don't really enjoy it. Ok that's not true cause it's a pretty good book so far (The Falling Man by I don't remember who) but still, I'm not sure if I am a Person Who Listens To Rather Than Reads Books. Usually I'm reading while listening to my iPod. Now the book is ON the iPod and it throws me all off. I obviously can't read another book. I just have to sit there. And listen. And NOT fall asleep. This book-on-iPod shit is boring.
I still have to get my costume ready for later. I hope my mom's done sewing my cape.
I am seriously going to have an intervention for all the old ladies of Oak Lawn that order shit from QVC and the Home Shopping Network. TURN OFF YOUR TV OR GET A FUCKING HOBBY THAT DOESN'T COST YOU MONEY. How about knitting? Yarn can't be that much. Or get into pro wwrestling like my grandma was. Anything but ordering off those goddamn tv stations. Do you ever actually KEEP anything? It drives me crazy to see them come in here day after day. Every single week the same people come in and spend $50 or more just returning everything they buy. I thought you were supposed to get wiser with age. Apparently not.
After way too many years of working at this here UPS Store, guess what I just done earned. PAID HOLIDAYS AND A WEEKS PAID VACATION, bitches. Aw hell yeah, moving on up. I hope I stay here for the rest of my life!
One time, at least six or seven years ago, my mom came back from food shopping and said, "I got something for you Kate." I was hoping ice cream, maybe swiss cheese or a pony, but it was none of the above. I asked what and she proudly held up a bottle and said "KETHUP!" It's been an ongoing joke that only I find funny since then because while it's very true that I like ketchup, I don't think I've ever jumped up and down or drooled from the mouth when my mom has brought some home. Everytime she says she bought me something since then, my first guess is always KETCHUP!, but the other day she was looking in the pantry for some reason and goes, "Kate, we have paper bags!" If I had been packing a lunch at the time or trying to make puppets this would have made sense, but I was eating a bowl of cereal. Some kids (23 year olds?) get excited over cupcakes or Doritos, but my mom gets me ketchup! and paper bags! Life is good living at home.
Last week I got a free gift card in a magazine or something for a free book on tape, or rather book I could put and listen to on my iPod. It's really bizarre listening to a book on my iPod though. I feel like I'm concentrating so hard on trying to remember names and keeping the story line straight that I don't really enjoy it. Ok that's not true cause it's a pretty good book so far (The Falling Man by I don't remember who) but still, I'm not sure if I am a Person Who Listens To Rather Than Reads Books. Usually I'm reading while listening to my iPod. Now the book is ON the iPod and it throws me all off. I obviously can't read another book. I just have to sit there. And listen. And NOT fall asleep. This book-on-iPod shit is boring.
I still have to get my costume ready for later. I hope my mom's done sewing my cape.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Back To Black
I know songs in commercials are a big deal for some people, but I've gotten into some good songs through that medium, so I don't mind it. The latest one is an M&M's commercial with The The's This Is the Day. I'd heard the song before, but now can't stop listening to it on YouTube, where the video is. Also, I don't who's ballsy-er, The Band or The The. I think The Band. Ain't nobody got bigger balls than Robbie Robertson.
I'm seeing Dylan this Sunday for the first time in about three years, in Indianapolis. Will got me these tickets for my birthday but now I'm going with Diana instead because she has a friend down there we can stay with. Sure there's going to be a screaming three month old baby, we have to sleep on the floor and Diana will probably make me listen to the Grateful Dead/Widespread Panic/String Cheese Incident the entire ride down there, but I'll take any of those over two days of Will bitching about his job and me pretending to care by nodding a lot and saying "yeah" and/or "that sucks" about 8400 times all the while screaming in my head NOBODY LIKES THEIR JOB PLEASE SHUT UP. And they call it puppy loooo-uh-uh-vveeee. So anyways, Dylan! Yay! The eternal question: Will I finally have his love child? I'll let you know Monday.
One more reason I wish I had HBO: Flight of the Conchords. I watched the first episode yesterday on a free podcast on iTunes and it was really funny. Why can't more things be free. Besides my love of course, because that's free for everyone! Except John Mellencamp.
One of my favorite things about summer is all the seasonal fruit that comes out, besides my brother (he's out year-round). My mom brought back some cherries and peaches from Michigan last Sunday and I am not exaggerating ONE BIT when I say they were the most delicious things ever. Seriously, it's pathetic how happy strawberries, cherries, watermelon and peaches make me - I think I'm a fruitopheliac, WARN YOUR GARDENS. My mom and I went to the farmer's market today to buy some more but I've been spoiled forever by those brilliant! cherries. Damn you Michigan DAMN YOU.
Last Saturday Diana, Lauren and I were in the Burger King drive-thru, and Lauren, sitting shotgun, jumped out of the car because she knew someone in the car ahead of us she hadn't seen in awhile. In her excitedness or something, she didn't close the car door and a minute or so later when she realized it was still open, ran back to close it really quick. She forgot the windows were down and went to close it by pushing on the window. She almost dove through the open window before catching herself and I then pee'd myself laughing. I love my friends.
I'm seeing Dylan this Sunday for the first time in about three years, in Indianapolis. Will got me these tickets for my birthday but now I'm going with Diana instead because she has a friend down there we can stay with. Sure there's going to be a screaming three month old baby, we have to sleep on the floor and Diana will probably make me listen to the Grateful Dead/Widespread Panic/String Cheese Incident the entire ride down there, but I'll take any of those over two days of Will bitching about his job and me pretending to care by nodding a lot and saying "yeah" and/or "that sucks" about 8400 times all the while screaming in my head NOBODY LIKES THEIR JOB PLEASE SHUT UP. And they call it puppy loooo-uh-uh-vveeee. So anyways, Dylan! Yay! The eternal question: Will I finally have his love child? I'll let you know Monday.
One more reason I wish I had HBO: Flight of the Conchords. I watched the first episode yesterday on a free podcast on iTunes and it was really funny. Why can't more things be free. Besides my love of course, because that's free for everyone! Except John Mellencamp.
One of my favorite things about summer is all the seasonal fruit that comes out, besides my brother (he's out year-round). My mom brought back some cherries and peaches from Michigan last Sunday and I am not exaggerating ONE BIT when I say they were the most delicious things ever. Seriously, it's pathetic how happy strawberries, cherries, watermelon and peaches make me - I think I'm a fruitopheliac, WARN YOUR GARDENS. My mom and I went to the farmer's market today to buy some more but I've been spoiled forever by those brilliant! cherries. Damn you Michigan DAMN YOU.
Last Saturday Diana, Lauren and I were in the Burger King drive-thru, and Lauren, sitting shotgun, jumped out of the car because she knew someone in the car ahead of us she hadn't seen in awhile. In her excitedness or something, she didn't close the car door and a minute or so later when she realized it was still open, ran back to close it really quick. She forgot the windows were down and went to close it by pushing on the window. She almost dove through the open window before catching herself and I then pee'd myself laughing. I love my friends.
Monday, July 09, 2007
It Won't Let Me Type A Goddamn Title
1. Yeah, I know I've been a slacker lately, but I just feel like I have nothing to say. You know how when you haven't talked to someone in a long time, when you do finally talk, sometimes it's awkward because you feel like there's so much you SHOULD have to say that you can't think of TO say? But if you talk to someone everyday, you just talk about normal stupid shit that you wouldn't really remember to talk about if it had been awhile? No? It's just me? Well that's how I feel. Yeah shit goes on in my life, but when it's been so long since I've done an actual post, I feel like everything I say has to be a really good story or funny or something. I don't know. I'm probably just lazy. ANYWAYS, I'm gonna try for ten here but no promises.
2. I actually had the following conversation with my friends a couple weeks ago. Back on my birthday, on the way to the Sox game, for whatever reason Lauren said something about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the lightbulb:
Diana: No, Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.
Lauren: Ohh....right.
Me: DUMBASSES, Thomas Jefferson was our third president. Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb.
Diana: You went to college Katie. We didn't.
Then just last night, we were laughing about it telling our friend Claudio and he says,
"But wait, was Thomas Jefferson actually a president?"
Me: "Yeah he was our third. He bought the Louisiana Purchase....?"
Claudio: "Oh right. I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin."
And he's in the process of applying to law school. My friends need to stop smoking so much pot.
3. I broke up with Will last month after I got sick of his too-nice ways - I don't take no shit from NO ONE. A few days after we broke up I heard that he was renouncing the Cubs as his baseball team and becoming a Sox fan. If we hadn't of been broken up already, that would have done it for me. He had been a Cubs fan his whole life and then one day just switches sides. How does that even happen, I would love to know. Now he just looks like a huge idiot because the Sox are in fourth place and the Cubs are only a handful of games outta first. God, I don't know why it gets me so riled up. I think I'm just over protective of my Sox, but christ that turns me off so much. I'll never say this again, but I hope the Cubs win it all this year ( I know it's laughable, that's why I don't feel bad saying it) just so he realizes he's the biggest douche bag in the entire world. Stick with your team, bitch.
4. One last Sox thing: after god knows how many weeks of keeping us in limbo about whether they were gonna sign Mark Buerhle, they finally signed him today to a four year deal. Jesus christ Kenny Williams, took you long enough. But thank you thank you thank you for doing that.
5. Keri and I saw the movie Once about a month ago and I finally got around to buying the soundtrack while I was in Arizona. Well then it magically got all scratched up in my luggage on the way home and I had to buy it again on iTunes, but nonetheless, I finally got it and it's been my obsession du jour for the past two weeks. You know how sometimes you love a song so much it's almost like you can feel a knot in your chest you want to hear it so bad? Yeah, that's how this whole cd is, especially the song Lies. Buy this cd and see this movie because both are the best ever.
6. I've read a couple good books lately: The Road by Cormac McCarthy (such such SUCH a good book). I was almost done reading it the night before we left for Arizona and knew I had to finish it then because I was going to cry and didn't want to do it on the airplane. While at the bookstore in O'Hare, me and some old dude went to reach for the same book, No Country for Old Men by the same author and ended up talking for a few minutes about The Road and other books we had both read and loved. Then another lady asked me if I was a big reader and could I recommend a book for her to read on the plane, so I suggested The Kite Runner. I really wish I knew if she liked the book or not - I always get nervous when I recommend a book I love to someone because I'm afraid they won't like it as much as me and I'll have to kill them, but I guess that's just the way things happen sometimes. I've also read Beasts of No Nation by Uzodinma Iweala (really good too) and just finished today Suite Francaise Irene Nemirovsky, which took me awhile to get into but was worth it in the end. The backstory about the author is almost better than the story itself though - she was a Russian Jew who moved to France way before WWII, converted her and her kids to Catholicism, not even necessarily because of Hitler, but was captured, sent to a concentration camp, died in 1942 there and this book was discovered sixty years later. How the hell do you compete with that.
7. I love summer. I fucking LOVE summer. Even if it's just sitting outside in the sun reading, I love it. Or if it's going downtown to the Taste Of Chicago Friday to see a free Black Crowes concert with my friends, I love it. Or swimming in Diana's backyard. Or sitting outside by myself reading, getting severely sun burnt, soon to be joined by my sister to start drinking at 2:00 pm, soon to be joined by my brother after he got off work at 5:30 and then get more beer, soon to be joined by my dad after he got home from the bar with his friends, and then soon to join my bed when I was drunk by 8:30 pm. Just a random example, really. Moral of this story? I LOVE SUMMER.
8. I have a zit right in the middle of my eyebrow. Awwwwwwwwwwesome.
9. The countdown for Harry Potter has begun. Less than two more weeks to wait for the seventh book I don't know if I can handle it. I think Harry's going to die and I'm trying to prepare my tear ducts for it, but I don't think anything can. July 21st HURRY UP.
10. I read in Cosmo yesterday that your boobs can keep growing into your mid-twenties. This means two more years of wishful thinking. Best news I've heard all year, bitches.
1. Yeah, I know I've been a slacker lately, but I just feel like I have nothing to say. You know how when you haven't talked to someone in a long time, when you do finally talk, sometimes it's awkward because you feel like there's so much you SHOULD have to say that you can't think of TO say? But if you talk to someone everyday, you just talk about normal stupid shit that you wouldn't really remember to talk about if it had been awhile? No? It's just me? Well that's how I feel. Yeah shit goes on in my life, but when it's been so long since I've done an actual post, I feel like everything I say has to be a really good story or funny or something. I don't know. I'm probably just lazy. ANYWAYS, I'm gonna try for ten here but no promises.
2. I actually had the following conversation with my friends a couple weeks ago. Back on my birthday, on the way to the Sox game, for whatever reason Lauren said something about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the lightbulb:
Diana: No, Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.
Lauren: Ohh....right.
Me: DUMBASSES, Thomas Jefferson was our third president. Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb.
Diana: You went to college Katie. We didn't.
Then just last night, we were laughing about it telling our friend Claudio and he says,
"But wait, was Thomas Jefferson actually a president?"
Me: "Yeah he was our third. He bought the Louisiana Purchase....?"
Claudio: "Oh right. I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin."
And he's in the process of applying to law school. My friends need to stop smoking so much pot.
3. I broke up with Will last month after I got sick of his too-nice ways - I don't take no shit from NO ONE. A few days after we broke up I heard that he was renouncing the Cubs as his baseball team and becoming a Sox fan. If we hadn't of been broken up already, that would have done it for me. He had been a Cubs fan his whole life and then one day just switches sides. How does that even happen, I would love to know. Now he just looks like a huge idiot because the Sox are in fourth place and the Cubs are only a handful of games outta first. God, I don't know why it gets me so riled up. I think I'm just over protective of my Sox, but christ that turns me off so much. I'll never say this again, but I hope the Cubs win it all this year ( I know it's laughable, that's why I don't feel bad saying it) just so he realizes he's the biggest douche bag in the entire world. Stick with your team, bitch.
4. One last Sox thing: after god knows how many weeks of keeping us in limbo about whether they were gonna sign Mark Buerhle, they finally signed him today to a four year deal. Jesus christ Kenny Williams, took you long enough. But thank you thank you thank you for doing that.
5. Keri and I saw the movie Once about a month ago and I finally got around to buying the soundtrack while I was in Arizona. Well then it magically got all scratched up in my luggage on the way home and I had to buy it again on iTunes, but nonetheless, I finally got it and it's been my obsession du jour for the past two weeks. You know how sometimes you love a song so much it's almost like you can feel a knot in your chest you want to hear it so bad? Yeah, that's how this whole cd is, especially the song Lies. Buy this cd and see this movie because both are the best ever.
6. I've read a couple good books lately: The Road by Cormac McCarthy (such such SUCH a good book). I was almost done reading it the night before we left for Arizona and knew I had to finish it then because I was going to cry and didn't want to do it on the airplane. While at the bookstore in O'Hare, me and some old dude went to reach for the same book, No Country for Old Men by the same author and ended up talking for a few minutes about The Road and other books we had both read and loved. Then another lady asked me if I was a big reader and could I recommend a book for her to read on the plane, so I suggested The Kite Runner. I really wish I knew if she liked the book or not - I always get nervous when I recommend a book I love to someone because I'm afraid they won't like it as much as me and I'll have to kill them, but I guess that's just the way things happen sometimes. I've also read Beasts of No Nation by Uzodinma Iweala (really good too) and just finished today Suite Francaise Irene Nemirovsky, which took me awhile to get into but was worth it in the end. The backstory about the author is almost better than the story itself though - she was a Russian Jew who moved to France way before WWII, converted her and her kids to Catholicism, not even necessarily because of Hitler, but was captured, sent to a concentration camp, died in 1942 there and this book was discovered sixty years later. How the hell do you compete with that.
7. I love summer. I fucking LOVE summer. Even if it's just sitting outside in the sun reading, I love it. Or if it's going downtown to the Taste Of Chicago Friday to see a free Black Crowes concert with my friends, I love it. Or swimming in Diana's backyard. Or sitting outside by myself reading, getting severely sun burnt, soon to be joined by my sister to start drinking at 2:00 pm, soon to be joined by my brother after he got off work at 5:30 and then get more beer, soon to be joined by my dad after he got home from the bar with his friends, and then soon to join my bed when I was drunk by 8:30 pm. Just a random example, really. Moral of this story? I LOVE SUMMER.
8. I have a zit right in the middle of my eyebrow. Awwwwwwwwwwesome.
9. The countdown for Harry Potter has begun. Less than two more weeks to wait for the seventh book I don't know if I can handle it. I think Harry's going to die and I'm trying to prepare my tear ducts for it, but I don't think anything can. July 21st HURRY UP.
10. I read in Cosmo yesterday that your boobs can keep growing into your mid-twenties. This means two more years of wishful thinking. Best news I've heard all year, bitches.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
The Horror
I honestly, HONESTLY said to my friend today, "I'm not mad at you. I'm just dissappointed." WHY AM I ALREADY TURNING INTO MY MOTHER AT 23.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Christ I'm Bored
Reasons I Am Jubilant:
1. My best friend Megan, who I haven't seen in a month is home for the weekend. Oh May-gan how I've missed you.
2. The new White Stripes cd comes out Tuesday. Icky Thump could possibly be the most awesome song in the entire world and if you haven't heard I don't even know what to tell you except you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too.
3. Keri's graduation party is today. Flippy cup what? Time to bring out the big guns again and embarass every person who challenges us. I'm queer.
4. I get to be at work instead of helping out for aforementioned party and not see my mom go batshit trying to get everything ready by 6:00. There is a god.
5. I'm going to Arizona with my family next Friday, for very decidedly non-jubilant reason. My grandma died. But she was old (87), had a good life and was in a lot of pain and is probably better off (does that sound terrible? I really hope not). So on the bright side, I get to see my mom's side of the family who I haven't seen in at least five years. And I get off work for 5 days. Always seeing the silver lining. RIP Grandma Kay.
6. The song 1234 by Feist. I dare you to listen to that song and NOT be jubilant. Or pee yourself a little. I do both.
Non-Jubilant Things:
1. My itchy, itchy sunburn I got Wednesday.
2. Pussying out and not breaking up with Will Thursday.
3. Being broke until Wednesday.
1. My best friend Megan, who I haven't seen in a month is home for the weekend. Oh May-gan how I've missed you.
2. The new White Stripes cd comes out Tuesday. Icky Thump could possibly be the most awesome song in the entire world and if you haven't heard I don't even know what to tell you except you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too.
3. Keri's graduation party is today. Flippy cup what? Time to bring out the big guns again and embarass every person who challenges us. I'm queer.
4. I get to be at work instead of helping out for aforementioned party and not see my mom go batshit trying to get everything ready by 6:00. There is a god.
5. I'm going to Arizona with my family next Friday, for very decidedly non-jubilant reason. My grandma died. But she was old (87), had a good life and was in a lot of pain and is probably better off (does that sound terrible? I really hope not). So on the bright side, I get to see my mom's side of the family who I haven't seen in at least five years. And I get off work for 5 days. Always seeing the silver lining. RIP Grandma Kay.
6. The song 1234 by Feist. I dare you to listen to that song and NOT be jubilant. Or pee yourself a little. I do both.
Non-Jubilant Things:
1. My itchy, itchy sunburn I got Wednesday.
2. Pussying out and not breaking up with Will Thursday.
3. Being broke until Wednesday.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Hey Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken
I hate when I hear a good song on the radio, then call the station to find out the name of the song only to have them not answer. Why WXAV 88.3, why would you do that? I tried remembering lyrics so I could Google the shit out of it, but the one line I remember isn't getting me anywhere. Answer your motherfucking phone, motherfuckers. Stupid college radio stations.
I bought a Camera Obscura album (Let's Get Out of This country) on iTunes a week or so ago and haven't stopped listening to it since. Ch ch ch check it out, especially I Need All the Friends I Can Get and Razzle Dazzle Rose. If the song name Razzle Dazzle Rose doesn't make you listen to it, I don't know what will. Thank you Spinner.com.
So I have a boyfriend now. And I don't even really like him because he's too nice. Who bitches about that? Apparently me because I'm an ungrateful knobjob. For my birthday he got me Bob Dylan tickets in Indianapolis on July 15th. We're going to a Sox-Cubs game on the 24th. And the Bears home opener on September 16th. He puts up a mad style fight if I even try to buy him a beer at the bar. He gave me keys to the condo he just bought. It's like I've been handed everything on a silver platter and I hate it. Reading this paragraph over I just sound like a douche bag, but seriously. My own set of keys already? Slow it down a notch Rico Suave. Plus he wears black. All the time. And black shorts, white socks folded (!) over and black shoes. It takes all my strength each time I see him in this get-up not to spontaneously combust. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Wah wah my life is terrible because my boyfriend is TOO NICE TO ME. What a terrible dilemma.
I got asked "how far along I was" the other day at Jewel as I was buying a 12 pack of Miller Lite and a pack of cigarettes. I wish I was kidding.
I'm going downtown with Keri tomorrow to see this movie called Once which is only playing at this one theatre on the Northside. It's supposed to be 90 degrees out with 45 mile an hour winds. I need all the hairpray I can get. This should be interesting.
I thought I had more but this is all I can throw up right now. Sorry Canadian Bitch, I'll try to do better next time. But this is enough to shut you up for at least a minute, right? I meant that in the best way possible, swear!
I bought a Camera Obscura album (Let's Get Out of This country) on iTunes a week or so ago and haven't stopped listening to it since. Ch ch ch check it out, especially I Need All the Friends I Can Get and Razzle Dazzle Rose. If the song name Razzle Dazzle Rose doesn't make you listen to it, I don't know what will. Thank you Spinner.com.
So I have a boyfriend now. And I don't even really like him because he's too nice. Who bitches about that? Apparently me because I'm an ungrateful knobjob. For my birthday he got me Bob Dylan tickets in Indianapolis on July 15th. We're going to a Sox-Cubs game on the 24th. And the Bears home opener on September 16th. He puts up a mad style fight if I even try to buy him a beer at the bar. He gave me keys to the condo he just bought. It's like I've been handed everything on a silver platter and I hate it. Reading this paragraph over I just sound like a douche bag, but seriously. My own set of keys already? Slow it down a notch Rico Suave. Plus he wears black. All the time. And black shorts, white socks folded (!) over and black shoes. It takes all my strength each time I see him in this get-up not to spontaneously combust. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Wah wah my life is terrible because my boyfriend is TOO NICE TO ME. What a terrible dilemma.
I got asked "how far along I was" the other day at Jewel as I was buying a 12 pack of Miller Lite and a pack of cigarettes. I wish I was kidding.
I'm going downtown with Keri tomorrow to see this movie called Once which is only playing at this one theatre on the Northside. It's supposed to be 90 degrees out with 45 mile an hour winds. I need all the hairpray I can get. This should be interesting.
I thought I had more but this is all I can throw up right now. Sorry Canadian Bitch, I'll try to do better next time. But this is enough to shut you up for at least a minute, right? I meant that in the best way possible, swear!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Busy Busy Busy
Thursday: Work from 8:15 am - 2:30 pm
Drive 6 hours with my mom to Ohio to get J.P
Drink. A lot.
Friday: Wake up at an ungodly hour to drive back to IL
See Keri graduate from college then celebrating by
Drinking. A lot.
Saturday: Drive back home
Go to Sox game with friends at 6:05 pm
Celebrate my 23rd birthday at the bar later by
Drinking. A lot.
Sunday: Wake up severely hungover, hopefully
Wish my mom happy mother's day
Go to Bulls play-off game with Will at 2:30 pm
Watch the Bulls win by
Drinking. A lot.
Monday: Work from 2:30 - 7:30 pm
Recuperate
Tuesday: Go to Sox game with Will, Diana and Rich
Sit in first row on the third base line
Drink. A lot
Best. Week. Ever.
Drive 6 hours with my mom to Ohio to get J.P
Drink. A lot.
Friday: Wake up at an ungodly hour to drive back to IL
See Keri graduate from college then celebrating by
Drinking. A lot.
Saturday: Drive back home
Go to Sox game with friends at 6:05 pm
Celebrate my 23rd birthday at the bar later by
Drinking. A lot.
Sunday: Wake up severely hungover, hopefully
Wish my mom happy mother's day
Go to Bulls play-off game with Will at 2:30 pm
Watch the Bulls win by
Drinking. A lot.
Monday: Work from 2:30 - 7:30 pm
Recuperate
Tuesday: Go to Sox game with Will, Diana and Rich
Sit in first row on the third base line
Drink. A lot
Best. Week. Ever.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I Would Rather Be Anywhere Else But Here Today
One for the discovered better late than never category: De Stilj by the White Stripes. Every song is sweet. Just fucking sweet. I burned this from a friend freshman year of college and just got around a month or so ago to listening to it the whole way through. It has currently replaced Peter Bjorn & John as my Obsessively Listened To Record For Three Weeks. While that is my OLTRFTW (it practically rolls off the tongue!), Elvis Costello's Oliver's Army is my Obsessively Listened Song Of The Past Two Days. My eyes lit up like there was a Big Mac in front of me when I discovered my dad had borrowed his friend's best of Elvis Costello cd and I could put it on my iPod. Aw hell yeah bitches.
Megan and I went downtown again Sunday to Millenium Park because the weather was just as awesome as it was last Sunday when we went to the zoo. Megan, also known as the Worst Maker of Pot Brownies in the Entire World (look it up), made the worst pot brownies in the entire world. You'd think I would have known better, but I just discovered this quality about her Sunday. Jesus christ those things were terrible. Everytime we burped for the rest of the day, it was the brownie coming up. Sexy, no? But hey, at least she tried. And I may have only had half of one cause it was all I could manage (or because of what a "giant pussy I am" according to my "best friend"), but that was all I needed, so shut the fuck up about it.
So we ate some brownies then rioted after we listened to the Bulls sweep the series with Miami on my mom's oldass Walkman. Just the two of us. With our pots and pans. We always come prepared.
My mom flew back out to Arizona yesterday because my grandma had some kind of surgery. I was excited about her being gone til she told me my dad would be home. Every night this week. No firehouse for him - he's in some class at the Chicago Fire Academy downtown. Goddamnit. I rioted some more after I heard this news.
So this Cubs fan I found for myself (or Diana found for me) is pretty nice. And pretty cute. And I'm pretty sure he likes me. Or better yet, I KNOW he likes me. But this is me were talking about here, right? These things never happen, or work out, for me. Looks like the tide is changing, bitches. I just really need to move out of my house now cause Papa O'D is NOT happy with me staying the night at his place. Surprising, I know.
I got some awesome new Chester the Molestor sunglasses at Old Navy the other day. Picking up those five year olds should be easier than ever now. This is mine and Megan's reflection in the giant Bean in Millenium Park, taken with my goddamn cell phone because I forgot my goddamn camera. Not bitter at all.
My birthday (23 - good lord) is coming up and Diana's taking me to the Sox game for it. Keri graduates May 11th, yaaaaay. Brother and sisters reunited for the summer, can't wait. Beebs, you best be ready to get your backyard baseball on when you get home. Artie's been wondering why his window isn't shattered yet. Blues Fest is the weekend of June 2nd. Keri's graduation party is June 9th. I might MIGHT get to go to a Bulls play-off game if Will turns out to be a badass and actually does get tickets (I'll believe it when I see it). So much to look forward too, I love it.
Customer of the Day, digging through her wallet for another penny:
"Oh, this is a Canadian penny. Do you take those?"
Megan and I went downtown again Sunday to Millenium Park because the weather was just as awesome as it was last Sunday when we went to the zoo. Megan, also known as the Worst Maker of Pot Brownies in the Entire World (look it up), made the worst pot brownies in the entire world. You'd think I would have known better, but I just discovered this quality about her Sunday. Jesus christ those things were terrible. Everytime we burped for the rest of the day, it was the brownie coming up. Sexy, no? But hey, at least she tried. And I may have only had half of one cause it was all I could manage (or because of what a "giant pussy I am" according to my "best friend"), but that was all I needed, so shut the fuck up about it.
So we ate some brownies then rioted after we listened to the Bulls sweep the series with Miami on my mom's oldass Walkman. Just the two of us. With our pots and pans. We always come prepared.
My mom flew back out to Arizona yesterday because my grandma had some kind of surgery. I was excited about her being gone til she told me my dad would be home. Every night this week. No firehouse for him - he's in some class at the Chicago Fire Academy downtown. Goddamnit. I rioted some more after I heard this news.
So this Cubs fan I found for myself (or Diana found for me) is pretty nice. And pretty cute. And I'm pretty sure he likes me. Or better yet, I KNOW he likes me. But this is me were talking about here, right? These things never happen, or work out, for me. Looks like the tide is changing, bitches. I just really need to move out of my house now cause Papa O'D is NOT happy with me staying the night at his place. Surprising, I know.
I got some awesome new Chester the Molestor sunglasses at Old Navy the other day. Picking up those five year olds should be easier than ever now. This is mine and Megan's reflection in the giant Bean in Millenium Park, taken with my goddamn cell phone because I forgot my goddamn camera. Not bitter at all.
My birthday (23 - good lord) is coming up and Diana's taking me to the Sox game for it. Keri graduates May 11th, yaaaaay. Brother and sisters reunited for the summer, can't wait. Beebs, you best be ready to get your backyard baseball on when you get home. Artie's been wondering why his window isn't shattered yet. Blues Fest is the weekend of June 2nd. Keri's graduation party is June 9th. I might MIGHT get to go to a Bulls play-off game if Will turns out to be a badass and actually does get tickets (I'll believe it when I see it). So much to look forward too, I love it.
Customer of the Day, digging through her wallet for another penny:
"Oh, this is a Canadian penny. Do you take those?"
Monday, April 23, 2007
Hey It's Me, I'm Dynamite And I Don't Know Why
I've come to a conclusion, a very important conclusion: every band should have a violin in it. If every band featured a violin as prominently as the Frames do, the world would be a better place. Or at least my world would be a better place, and that's really all that counts. Keri and I saw the Frames on Wednesday and the entire time we were about five feet from the stage, close enough that Keri could've given the lead singer Glenn that handjob she was really to. Maybe next time Ker. They didn't play Fitzcarraldo, which was a major bummer, but they did play a lot of other awesome songs, so I'm trying not to dwell on that. One other important conclusion that was drawn Wednesday night? I hate drunk bitches who push their way past you and then for the next hour bump into you and your sister trying to dance when there is clearly no room to do so. Goddamnit.
The concert was up on the Northside, actually right down the street from Wrigley Field, where me and Keri are totally out of our element as Sox fans. Wednesday also happened to be a the night Mark Buerhle threw a no-hitter against the Rangers. What the fuck - I have the be in Cubs territory for this event? If I hadn't have had a job interview early the next morning we totally would have gone into some Cubs bar and bragged about Marky Mark. And then probably gotten beat up, but it woulda been worth it.
On Friday we went to the bar to hear Diana's boyfriend's band and I brought my Peter Bjorn and John cd to listen to on the way. I have yet to see it since then, and it's killing me. How the fuck does a cd just dissappear inside a car? I lost my last phone the same way - the truck ate it. Goddamn Ford Expedition black holes.
Today it was a high so far of 80 degrees outside, so me and three of my friends went downtown to the Lincoln Park Zoo to see a free concert in the park, Umphrey's McGee, a band I've paid quite a bit of money to see in the past. I don't know why it surprised and annoyed the shit out of me that it was crowded as fuck. Maybe the 80 degree weather? The free concert? Just the fact of going to the zoo on a nice day? Those all could have been a factor I'm guessing. Just call me Matlock.
I met on guy, Will, last Friday night and was telling my mom about him on Saturday when I got home from work. We were outside at the time and then walked in a minute later and sat down at the kitchen table with my dad:
Mom: So does Will like the same sports and music you do?
Me: Oh yeah, he's really into sports, but he's a Cubs fan.
Mom: Well there could be worse things.
Dad: NO THERE COULDN'T BE.
At least my dad has his priorities straight. Job? Who cares if he has one of those (which he does), HE'S A CUBS FAN. That's strike one two AND three right there. Hey-o, check out that sports analogy.
So the other day I was clipping my toenails (sexy) and clipped right through my iPod earphones wire. I don't even have anything else to say about that.
I'm still STILL reading The Human Stain. I'm starting to annoy myself I'm taking so long. I'm pretty close now, but just never get the urge to read it cause it doesn't interest me at all. This could potentially be a spoiler, so don't read this if you want to read the book, but it bugs me that none of Coleman's kids look black at all. I know Coleman passes as white even though he's black, so his kids probably wouldn't be that dark skinned, but really? None of his four kids gave him away, despite the fact that they're half black? Not a single one of them came out a little darker skinned? I like to concentrate on the stupid shit. After this book I'm sucking it up and paying my fine at the library. I'm sick of these shitty eBay books.
Are ya'll ready for the scariest picture in the entire world? Cause I have it right here for you. This was over Easter Weekend when us three plus three of our friends were over drinking in our kitchen Friday night. Yes, we do have shirts on that say "O'Donnell University" because my mom is queer and bought them for us for Christmas, don't hate. God knows what the fuck I was laughing at, but your eyes are not playing tricks on you, I really do look like a braying donkey when I laugh. Awwwwwwwesome. You're welcome J.P and Keri for putting this on the intraweb so everyone can see us at our sexiest.
The concert was up on the Northside, actually right down the street from Wrigley Field, where me and Keri are totally out of our element as Sox fans. Wednesday also happened to be a the night Mark Buerhle threw a no-hitter against the Rangers. What the fuck - I have the be in Cubs territory for this event? If I hadn't have had a job interview early the next morning we totally would have gone into some Cubs bar and bragged about Marky Mark. And then probably gotten beat up, but it woulda been worth it.
On Friday we went to the bar to hear Diana's boyfriend's band and I brought my Peter Bjorn and John cd to listen to on the way. I have yet to see it since then, and it's killing me. How the fuck does a cd just dissappear inside a car? I lost my last phone the same way - the truck ate it. Goddamn Ford Expedition black holes.
Today it was a high so far of 80 degrees outside, so me and three of my friends went downtown to the Lincoln Park Zoo to see a free concert in the park, Umphrey's McGee, a band I've paid quite a bit of money to see in the past. I don't know why it surprised and annoyed the shit out of me that it was crowded as fuck. Maybe the 80 degree weather? The free concert? Just the fact of going to the zoo on a nice day? Those all could have been a factor I'm guessing. Just call me Matlock.
I met on guy, Will, last Friday night and was telling my mom about him on Saturday when I got home from work. We were outside at the time and then walked in a minute later and sat down at the kitchen table with my dad:
Mom: So does Will like the same sports and music you do?
Me: Oh yeah, he's really into sports, but he's a Cubs fan.
Mom: Well there could be worse things.
Dad: NO THERE COULDN'T BE.
At least my dad has his priorities straight. Job? Who cares if he has one of those (which he does), HE'S A CUBS FAN. That's strike one two AND three right there. Hey-o, check out that sports analogy.
So the other day I was clipping my toenails (sexy) and clipped right through my iPod earphones wire. I don't even have anything else to say about that.
I'm still STILL reading The Human Stain. I'm starting to annoy myself I'm taking so long. I'm pretty close now, but just never get the urge to read it cause it doesn't interest me at all. This could potentially be a spoiler, so don't read this if you want to read the book, but it bugs me that none of Coleman's kids look black at all. I know Coleman passes as white even though he's black, so his kids probably wouldn't be that dark skinned, but really? None of his four kids gave him away, despite the fact that they're half black? Not a single one of them came out a little darker skinned? I like to concentrate on the stupid shit. After this book I'm sucking it up and paying my fine at the library. I'm sick of these shitty eBay books.
Are ya'll ready for the scariest picture in the entire world? Cause I have it right here for you. This was over Easter Weekend when us three plus three of our friends were over drinking in our kitchen Friday night. Yes, we do have shirts on that say "O'Donnell University" because my mom is queer and bought them for us for Christmas, don't hate. God knows what the fuck I was laughing at, but your eyes are not playing tricks on you, I really do look like a braying donkey when I laugh. Awwwwwwwesome. You're welcome J.P and Keri for putting this on the intraweb so everyone can see us at our sexiest.
If I wake up tomorrow without swollen lymph nodes it will be a glorious, glorious day.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I'm Gonna Give You A Try
I sign up to win random concerts all the time on the radio station XRT's website and never win. Until Monday when I win tickets to see Chris Cornell in an "intimate concert" on Tuesday afternoon at 1:00 pm. Do you see the timeframe there? I find out I win on Monday. The concert is Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon at that. I'm not even a huge Chris Cornell fan (although I bet Jenn is going to bust a nut reading this), but it would've been cool to see him in a really small venue. Goddamnit XRT. Could we work on the timing next time?
At the bar last Thursday I saw a kid I used to babysit for. How fucked is that? I mean jesus christ, I'm only 22. Shouldn't I be at least 30 before that happens? So I didn't REALLY babysit for him, it was more for his 6 year old sister and 10 year old brother, but regardless he was there too and I was technically his babysitter. He was only 20 years old, apparently he knew the bouncer, but good lord. I thought hearing that kids I used to babysit for were in high school was weird. Now we're taken it to a completely different level: me buying them beer at the bar.
If I don't get to see Peter Bjorn and John May 8th, I am going to go apeshit on somebody. You have been warned. Now, get my mom to lend me money to buy their concert tickets on Saturday morning. God damn Swedish people.
So I'm trying this new thing called "not drinking for an entire month". Any bets on how long it's going to last? I give you until Saturday at 10:30 pm. Must. Resist. $1.25. Bottles. Tomorrow.
My new favorite tv show which I've only seen about 10 minutes of? Human Giant on MTV.
"I want to use your balls as earrings?"
"I was only making conversation."
Do you have any idea how expensive it is to be tested for HIV? Jesus christ. I knew I didn't have it, but I just wanted to be 110% sure I had a clean slate. I guess that's what you pay for peace of mind, but a little warning about the price for peace of mind would have been nice. Also, the other lesson I learned from this whole "Do I have AIDS? We'll know when I get the results back" situation is don't tell your best friends sort-of boyfriend you took the test because in order to clear a way at the bar he will yell "Watch out - she has AIDS." And it can be transmitted by me bumping into you. Sorry mister, but you know you had it coming when you didn't immediately move outta my way.
So....now you know way too much about me. But hey, at least you know it's cool if mine and your blood accidentally mix, right? And before I did look kind of AID-sy, admit it, what with my gaunt figure and swollen-prone lymph nodes. You can be rest assured now, I don't have the AIDS. Let the blood inter-mingling begin.
R.I.P author of my favorite book, Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut.
At the bar last Thursday I saw a kid I used to babysit for. How fucked is that? I mean jesus christ, I'm only 22. Shouldn't I be at least 30 before that happens? So I didn't REALLY babysit for him, it was more for his 6 year old sister and 10 year old brother, but regardless he was there too and I was technically his babysitter. He was only 20 years old, apparently he knew the bouncer, but good lord. I thought hearing that kids I used to babysit for were in high school was weird. Now we're taken it to a completely different level: me buying them beer at the bar.
If I don't get to see Peter Bjorn and John May 8th, I am going to go apeshit on somebody. You have been warned. Now, get my mom to lend me money to buy their concert tickets on Saturday morning. God damn Swedish people.
So I'm trying this new thing called "not drinking for an entire month". Any bets on how long it's going to last? I give you until Saturday at 10:30 pm. Must. Resist. $1.25. Bottles. Tomorrow.
My new favorite tv show which I've only seen about 10 minutes of? Human Giant on MTV.
"I want to use your balls as earrings?"
"I was only making conversation."
Do you have any idea how expensive it is to be tested for HIV? Jesus christ. I knew I didn't have it, but I just wanted to be 110% sure I had a clean slate. I guess that's what you pay for peace of mind, but a little warning about the price for peace of mind would have been nice. Also, the other lesson I learned from this whole "Do I have AIDS? We'll know when I get the results back" situation is don't tell your best friends sort-of boyfriend you took the test because in order to clear a way at the bar he will yell "Watch out - she has AIDS." And it can be transmitted by me bumping into you. Sorry mister, but you know you had it coming when you didn't immediately move outta my way.
So....now you know way too much about me. But hey, at least you know it's cool if mine and your blood accidentally mix, right? And before I did look kind of AID-sy, admit it, what with my gaunt figure and swollen-prone lymph nodes. You can be rest assured now, I don't have the AIDS. Let the blood inter-mingling begin.
R.I.P author of my favorite book, Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I Laugh More Often Now, I Cry More Often Now, I Am More Me
The Peter Bjorn and John album (PB&J, bitches) Writer's Block is so, so awesome (I really need to start using a thesaurus). Who knew Swedish bands were so addictive? Well I guess lots of people considering ABBA but I was not one of them, until now. I get obsessed with one of the songs at a time and play it 500 times in a row, something that I'm sure has not annoyed my dad at all this week. But I gots to have my dancing and singing when I'm getting ready to go out at night, sorry Dad.
Wow White Sox. You really started off the season with a bang, losing 12-5 to the Indians. I know I know (J.P) it's the first game of a long, long season, but if things continue this way, I am going to be crabby about 85% of the time this summer, something I, along with everyone else I know I'm sure, am really looking forward to. (Today at work, the older lady I work with asked me "How many games do the Sox play in a season, 16?" Give or take a few Kathy, give or take a few.)
My mom's been in Arizona for the past week and I have to go to O'Hare to pick her up tomorrow. So, it's just been me and my dad in the house. I know I've mentioned it before, but I have a weird relationship with my dad. I always feel awkward around him when we're one on one, which is completely stupid considering he's my dad and has been there since day one. I'm not very good with small talk anyways, but with my dad I'm just terrible. Even though my mom will be annoying me by tomorrow by 9:00 pm at the very latest, I'm so glad the buffer zone is coming home. Can you tell I'm a daddy's girl?
I can't believe I failed to mention this last time I wrote, but a book finally made me cry, Feast of Love by Charles Baxter. It wasn't the best book ever, but I think I'm learning that not every book has to be for me to like it. If it makes me cry, that's good enough for me. At least it was better than City of God by E.L Doctorow because as soon as I read the last page of that one, my first thought was what the fuck did I just read. It was a super-ass confusing book, one of those books without an ending at all, which I am cool with as long as I fucking UNDERSTAND IT AT LEAST. Christ on a crucifix. Right now I'm working on The Human Stain by Phillip Roth and though it's not bad by any means, I just can't get into it so it's taking me forever. So. There's my monthly book report.
Keri and J.P come home this weekend for Easter and I am so friggin pumped cause I haven't seen J since he left for the semester in January. Keri, eh not so much cause I just saw you, plus you'll be home on the 18th for the Frames (!!) concert, which by the way will be the sweetest concert ever, not counting Rufio. I think we're having a family drinking night on Friday, with some lame-ass theme like Jeopardy or something but don't tell Keri I said it was lame cause she's uber excited for it. So yay! Jeopardy themed drinking night! How does that even work! We'll find out on Friday!
What the fuck, I have to wait two more goddamn weeks for a new Gilmore Girls episode? That is very unnecessary, CW Network.
Last weekend I read the old diaries I used to keep from eighth grade to freshman year and good lord. I was riveted by my own life - the boys I used to have crushes on, going to the mall to get guys numbers with my friends, my obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio, how I first tried cigarettes (and was magically "addicted" a week after trying them), my first kiss, how I got grounded all the time, the boys who supposedly liked me but then never called (if only I could tell the 14 year old me that some things would never change), and a whole bunch of other queer shit. I must have called Megan at least six different times just to read passages outloud to her because the things she and I said and did most of the time were so ridiculous and funny. I was a stereotypical boy-crazy 13 and 14 year old girl that started about 85% of my entries with "GOD, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKIN HOT MATT IS!!" Which, by the way is a hard habit to break. You have no idea the struggle I have each time I start a new post on this blog.
And lastly, for the Picture of the Week, or rather the Picture of Whenever I Feel Like It, the worst piece of mail my dad has even gotten. And of course I say that because they didn't capitalize the D in our last name, which is a major no-no. Jesus christ, you have no idea how long I laughed about this when I got it out of the mailbox, only because my dad really is the most remarkable woman I've ever met.
Wow White Sox. You really started off the season with a bang, losing 12-5 to the Indians. I know I know (J.P) it's the first game of a long, long season, but if things continue this way, I am going to be crabby about 85% of the time this summer, something I, along with everyone else I know I'm sure, am really looking forward to. (Today at work, the older lady I work with asked me "How many games do the Sox play in a season, 16?" Give or take a few Kathy, give or take a few.)
My mom's been in Arizona for the past week and I have to go to O'Hare to pick her up tomorrow. So, it's just been me and my dad in the house. I know I've mentioned it before, but I have a weird relationship with my dad. I always feel awkward around him when we're one on one, which is completely stupid considering he's my dad and has been there since day one. I'm not very good with small talk anyways, but with my dad I'm just terrible. Even though my mom will be annoying me by tomorrow by 9:00 pm at the very latest, I'm so glad the buffer zone is coming home. Can you tell I'm a daddy's girl?
I can't believe I failed to mention this last time I wrote, but a book finally made me cry, Feast of Love by Charles Baxter. It wasn't the best book ever, but I think I'm learning that not every book has to be for me to like it. If it makes me cry, that's good enough for me. At least it was better than City of God by E.L Doctorow because as soon as I read the last page of that one, my first thought was what the fuck did I just read. It was a super-ass confusing book, one of those books without an ending at all, which I am cool with as long as I fucking UNDERSTAND IT AT LEAST. Christ on a crucifix. Right now I'm working on The Human Stain by Phillip Roth and though it's not bad by any means, I just can't get into it so it's taking me forever. So. There's my monthly book report.
Keri and J.P come home this weekend for Easter and I am so friggin pumped cause I haven't seen J since he left for the semester in January. Keri, eh not so much cause I just saw you, plus you'll be home on the 18th for the Frames (!!) concert, which by the way will be the sweetest concert ever, not counting Rufio. I think we're having a family drinking night on Friday, with some lame-ass theme like Jeopardy or something but don't tell Keri I said it was lame cause she's uber excited for it. So yay! Jeopardy themed drinking night! How does that even work! We'll find out on Friday!
What the fuck, I have to wait two more goddamn weeks for a new Gilmore Girls episode? That is very unnecessary, CW Network.
Last weekend I read the old diaries I used to keep from eighth grade to freshman year and good lord. I was riveted by my own life - the boys I used to have crushes on, going to the mall to get guys numbers with my friends, my obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio, how I first tried cigarettes (and was magically "addicted" a week after trying them), my first kiss, how I got grounded all the time, the boys who supposedly liked me but then never called (if only I could tell the 14 year old me that some things would never change), and a whole bunch of other queer shit. I must have called Megan at least six different times just to read passages outloud to her because the things she and I said and did most of the time were so ridiculous and funny. I was a stereotypical boy-crazy 13 and 14 year old girl that started about 85% of my entries with "GOD, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKIN HOT MATT IS!!" Which, by the way is a hard habit to break. You have no idea the struggle I have each time I start a new post on this blog.
And lastly, for the Picture of the Week, or rather the Picture of Whenever I Feel Like It, the worst piece of mail my dad has even gotten. And of course I say that because they didn't capitalize the D in our last name, which is a major no-no. Jesus christ, you have no idea how long I laughed about this when I got it out of the mailbox, only because my dad really is the most remarkable woman I've ever met.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Up Against The Walls
It's weird how a good song coming on my iPod will automatially put me in a good mood. I don't know why it surprises me - obviously I know every song on here, but it's so much better when it comes on through the shuffle as opposed to me picking it out to play. The song this time? Truth Doesn't Make a Noise by the White Stripes. I have all the White Stripes albums on here, I have no idea how (maybe because of my brother?), but never listen to them unless it's through the shuffle. Then that song came on one day and changed my life. Or not really, but I'm feeling dramatic today. It really makes me want to learn how to play the piano cause it's awesome, motherfucking awesome. Plus, how sweet is that title. Truth doesn't make a noise? Thank you Jack White for vocalizing that, cause I had no idea.
Megan might be moving back to the town she went to school in for a job at a radio station. The thought of that happening scares the shit out of me because seriously WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. Meg is literally my right arm: we hang out at least five or six times a week and she's the one person around here who will go with me to the bar open til 5:00 because of my pathetic hope of finding a boyfriend there (I am aware of how delusional I am only because she points it out to me all the time). Everyone knows when I'm somewhere, Meg is too and vice versa. I don't think they'd recognize us without each other. So really, the prospect of her moving terrifies me. But she did say there's a UPS Store down there too, so I could move too! And then I shot her. Why must my best friend actually grow up and get a job. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS.
But really, this working at the UPS Store is getting old. It's coming up on a year that I graduated and I'm still there. I have been trying to look lately, but really have no idea how to even start. My resume is so impressive though, I don't get how a sweetass job hasn't just fallen into my lap already.
So I work at the UPS Store, still live with my parents, don't have a car, don't have a boyfriend and am pretty much broke all the time. I just depressed myself even more, if that's even at all possible. If the truth doesn't make a noise then why is it fucking screaming at me right now, answer me that Jack White. Where's my knife when I need it.
Megan might be moving back to the town she went to school in for a job at a radio station. The thought of that happening scares the shit out of me because seriously WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. Meg is literally my right arm: we hang out at least five or six times a week and she's the one person around here who will go with me to the bar open til 5:00 because of my pathetic hope of finding a boyfriend there (I am aware of how delusional I am only because she points it out to me all the time). Everyone knows when I'm somewhere, Meg is too and vice versa. I don't think they'd recognize us without each other. So really, the prospect of her moving terrifies me. But she did say there's a UPS Store down there too, so I could move too! And then I shot her. Why must my best friend actually grow up and get a job. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS.
But really, this working at the UPS Store is getting old. It's coming up on a year that I graduated and I'm still there. I have been trying to look lately, but really have no idea how to even start. My resume is so impressive though, I don't get how a sweetass job hasn't just fallen into my lap already.
So I work at the UPS Store, still live with my parents, don't have a car, don't have a boyfriend and am pretty much broke all the time. I just depressed myself even more, if that's even at all possible. If the truth doesn't make a noise then why is it fucking screaming at me right now, answer me that Jack White. Where's my knife when I need it.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Writer's Block, The Opposite Of
The Parade. The best day of my life? Possibly. Emily came in for it, and goddamn, I was so proud of her for keeping up with me and my friends the entire day. I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but we drank for about 13 hours, from 11:00 am to midnight or so. Disgusting? Yeah. But worth it? You know it. We must have walked at least six miles that day, and goddamn, my legs were feeling it for the next two days. I'm glad to say now that I am fully recovered, everywhere except for my stomach which is grossly enormous right now. I honestly gained about five pounds over the past couple days. The bingeing needs to start, PRONTO. I put all my pictures up on Shutterfly.com, but don't really know if I can link them here, so there's that. I mean, your guys life wouldn't be complete unless you saw a picture of me pushing Emily in a grocery cart, right? Right. Southside Irish Parade, oh how I love you. (My mom was telling her friend how there were 18 arrests throughout the day and I chimed in "Well at least no one died." Because that's how you determine a good parade from a bad parade. "Were there any deaths?" "No." "SUCCESS!" ) We're the Southside Irish and we're Irish to the core, we come from the Windy City as our fathers did before.... yeah, we got our own theme song, jealous?
Keri went back to school today, and now it's just me, my mom and dad again. Grrrrrrreat. We did go out with a bang though, staying out til almost six am yesterday. It could have been 5:00 am if the Irish assholes hadn't stolen our cab in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot though. Seriously, Irish guys, straight off the boat that is, have got to be the most annoying people in the entire world. I met a bunch of them last Sunday and jesus christ. Annoying, they are just so goddamn ANNOYING. The accent only takes you so far, and then the hat-stealing, cigarette-taking and ass-smacking takes over and I can't stand you. But otherwise, I had a grand old time drinking a shite-load, singing at the top of my lungs to "Don't Stop Believin", dancing terribly for way too long, spending too much money and having to gyp the cab driver cause Keri and Amy had spent all theirs. Kerianne Kristine, you owe me your life.
Why do boys ask for phone numbers and then never call you. I'd really love to understand the logic behind that. It's not like I just slipped you my number or anything YOU ASKED ME FOR IT. Why the asking if there will be no follow thru? Goddamnit.
St. Paddy's Day week is over and I'm sad. It's kind of like the Christmas season being over. We had the parade and then a week later the actual day and now what do I have to look forward to? Cinco de Mayo? Flag Day? HOW CAN I PICK JUST ONE.
I saw the play Wicked on a beautiful, beautiful day this past Tuesday. It hit 70 fucking degrees already. I actually woke up early (ok, noon) just to read outside before having to get ready to go. I know I talk about this every year around this time, but I am so excited about the upcoming warm weather. This is my favorite time of year, when the thought of 60 degree days practically gives me a boner. Impossible you might think, but I'm proof otherwise. Of course since Tuesday it's been cold out, but it's coming man, it's coming. This is why you gotta have four seasons. You take it for granted if you don't have to live through the shitty stuff along with the good stuff. Don't even give me the bullshit saying otherwise cause I AIN'T LISTENING.
Keri and I saw, for her Christmas present from me, the comedian Brian Reagan on Thursday, and he was fucking hysterical. I don't even know what else to say about him, besides that you should check him out if you get a chance. Also, thank you RELUCTANTLY.
Aight, I thought I might have more cause it's been awhile, but I don't. Also, iTunes is being a giant douche bag right now. And I need a shower. Badly. But here's my favorite picture from last night:
Amy, Keri, Megan, me and Maggie singing our hearts out to either Living on a Prayer or Don't Stop Believin', I'm not sure which. And then we got "shushed" by PJ - asshole. I have no idea who took this picture of us, but I love it. Happy St. Paddy's Day to ya.
Keri went back to school today, and now it's just me, my mom and dad again. Grrrrrrreat. We did go out with a bang though, staying out til almost six am yesterday. It could have been 5:00 am if the Irish assholes hadn't stolen our cab in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot though. Seriously, Irish guys, straight off the boat that is, have got to be the most annoying people in the entire world. I met a bunch of them last Sunday and jesus christ. Annoying, they are just so goddamn ANNOYING. The accent only takes you so far, and then the hat-stealing, cigarette-taking and ass-smacking takes over and I can't stand you. But otherwise, I had a grand old time drinking a shite-load, singing at the top of my lungs to "Don't Stop Believin", dancing terribly for way too long, spending too much money and having to gyp the cab driver cause Keri and Amy had spent all theirs. Kerianne Kristine, you owe me your life.
Why do boys ask for phone numbers and then never call you. I'd really love to understand the logic behind that. It's not like I just slipped you my number or anything YOU ASKED ME FOR IT. Why the asking if there will be no follow thru? Goddamnit.
St. Paddy's Day week is over and I'm sad. It's kind of like the Christmas season being over. We had the parade and then a week later the actual day and now what do I have to look forward to? Cinco de Mayo? Flag Day? HOW CAN I PICK JUST ONE.
I saw the play Wicked on a beautiful, beautiful day this past Tuesday. It hit 70 fucking degrees already. I actually woke up early (ok, noon) just to read outside before having to get ready to go. I know I talk about this every year around this time, but I am so excited about the upcoming warm weather. This is my favorite time of year, when the thought of 60 degree days practically gives me a boner. Impossible you might think, but I'm proof otherwise. Of course since Tuesday it's been cold out, but it's coming man, it's coming. This is why you gotta have four seasons. You take it for granted if you don't have to live through the shitty stuff along with the good stuff. Don't even give me the bullshit saying otherwise cause I AIN'T LISTENING.
Keri and I saw, for her Christmas present from me, the comedian Brian Reagan on Thursday, and he was fucking hysterical. I don't even know what else to say about him, besides that you should check him out if you get a chance. Also, thank you RELUCTANTLY.
Aight, I thought I might have more cause it's been awhile, but I don't. Also, iTunes is being a giant douche bag right now. And I need a shower. Badly. But here's my favorite picture from last night:
Amy, Keri, Megan, me and Maggie singing our hearts out to either Living on a Prayer or Don't Stop Believin', I'm not sure which. And then we got "shushed" by PJ - asshole. I have no idea who took this picture of us, but I love it. Happy St. Paddy's Day to ya.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Let's Call The Whole Thing Off
I think I have a problem. That problem is the "Buy it NOW!" button on Ebay. I bought three books the other day and a cd today. THERE ARE REASONS THOUGH. One of the books was 1 penny. Literally one penny. Or not literally cause it was $3.49 for the shipping, but still, $3.50 for a book? Sold. Another one was 27 cents (is there no "cents" sign on the keyboard? Or am I handicapped?) and another was $1.03. I know, big spender for that last one. So overall I spent about $12 for three books. Christ on a cracker, I love Ebay.
The books, incase you care, which you don't but I'm telling you anyways because all this blog seems to be becoming is my book report, were The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter (another one I stole from Jason Mulgrew because American Dream WAS that good), City of God by E.L Doctorow and The Human Stain by Phillip Roth, both taken off the 1001 Books list. I finished Atonement a couple days ago and though it got off to a slow start ended up being pretty good. It didn't make me cry, but it had World War II (I accidentley did '!!' instead of 'II' at first and for some reason that really made me laugh. World War !! Exclamation! Ok, maybe it wasn't so funny) in it and I'm a complete sucker for anything World War I or II ( I ain't gonna discriminate) related. Good god, you can't even read this paragraph because of all the paranthesis. But am I going to fix that? No.
Those books better come soon because I'm trying to read The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova right now and it is the most terrible book in the entire world. I started it two or so months ago but stopped once I got something new and am just reading it as a filler now. I can't even describe how awful this book is. If I read the words "gasped" or "shuddered" one more fucking time I'm going to burn this book (which would be pretty daring on my part - my mom's always told us 'Books are our friends!', I wish I was kidding). But really, if anyone has read this book, actually finished it (I'm only page 268 out of 600-something) and enjoyed it, I don't think I could ever talk to you again. Someone really tell me if you've read it and liked it though. It was a best seller so someone out there has. If you're too ashamed to admit it though, I don't blame you. I would be too.
Also, I just bought a cd on Ebay BUT IT WAS AN IMPORT SO IT WOULDA BEEN REALLY EXPENSIVE AT BEST BUY. I only paid $12.48 for it PLUS I didn't go to the bar tonight, so that totally justifies it. It's by Peter Bjorn and John called "Writer's Block". Find them on Myspace (my other new music obsession, right now I'm listening to Albert Hammond Jr's [from the Strokes] album) and if you don't like the song Paris 2004 or Young Folks, you've got some issues.
What the fuck has happened to the Bears since losing the Superbowl. They've basically imploded it seems. Thomas Jones was traded to the Jets and now Lance Briggs wants to be traded too. There was a big mess about renewing Lovie Smith's contract and Ron Riveria didn't leave on the best terms either. You're supposed to all be one big happy family, according to me at least. Fucking act like it.
I bought some new green gym shoes the other day (at Payless nonetheless, another example of my big spenderness) and the check-out lady said "Oh!! And the parade is this weekend!", like she was practically reading my mind. I was all "I know! I had green shoes but I've had them for so long there's holes in the bottom so these are perfect." Everyone really IS Irish on Parade Day, even the Hispanic Payless Shoe Store lady.
Yesterday I went over to Megan's and we watched Supernanny and Rick Steve's Europe, made cupcakes and decorated them. How old am I again, because whenever I go over to Megan's I seem to turn into a 46 year old married mother of three or something. Not that I don't have fun doing it though. Megan, being my best friend and extremely funny and me, being the most easily amused person in the entire world, are probably the best combination in the entire world. She makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I don't even want to imagine how boring my life would be without her. I mean I'd drink a lot less, sure, but man without her, life would be pretty dreary. I totally got tres tres lucky in the best friend AND sister department. I must have been Florence Nightengale in a former life or something. We DO share a birthday so it's totally plausible.
The other day at work some old guy came in and as I was helping him said "WHAT ARE YA, 6 FEET TALL?" No, old-ass man, I am not 6 feet tall, I am 5'10 goddamnit. What makes you think you can say that to me? I can't say "Wow, you really have that old man stink going on, don't you?" or "Does everyone get that wrinkly when they're as close to their death bed as you are?" NO, because that would be considered "rude", so why do you think you can say that to me? No I don't play basketball, no I don't play volleyball, no I'm not wearing heels. And I'm not even THAT tall. Tall, but not Lisa Leslie-tall for fucks sake. Aggravated.
Eight fascinating paragraphs! You're welcome!
The books, incase you care, which you don't but I'm telling you anyways because all this blog seems to be becoming is my book report, were The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter (another one I stole from Jason Mulgrew because American Dream WAS that good), City of God by E.L Doctorow and The Human Stain by Phillip Roth, both taken off the 1001 Books list. I finished Atonement a couple days ago and though it got off to a slow start ended up being pretty good. It didn't make me cry, but it had World War II (I accidentley did '!!' instead of 'II' at first and for some reason that really made me laugh. World War !! Exclamation! Ok, maybe it wasn't so funny) in it and I'm a complete sucker for anything World War I or II ( I ain't gonna discriminate) related. Good god, you can't even read this paragraph because of all the paranthesis. But am I going to fix that? No.
Those books better come soon because I'm trying to read The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova right now and it is the most terrible book in the entire world. I started it two or so months ago but stopped once I got something new and am just reading it as a filler now. I can't even describe how awful this book is. If I read the words "gasped" or "shuddered" one more fucking time I'm going to burn this book (which would be pretty daring on my part - my mom's always told us 'Books are our friends!', I wish I was kidding). But really, if anyone has read this book, actually finished it (I'm only page 268 out of 600-something) and enjoyed it, I don't think I could ever talk to you again. Someone really tell me if you've read it and liked it though. It was a best seller so someone out there has. If you're too ashamed to admit it though, I don't blame you. I would be too.
Also, I just bought a cd on Ebay BUT IT WAS AN IMPORT SO IT WOULDA BEEN REALLY EXPENSIVE AT BEST BUY. I only paid $12.48 for it PLUS I didn't go to the bar tonight, so that totally justifies it. It's by Peter Bjorn and John called "Writer's Block". Find them on Myspace (my other new music obsession, right now I'm listening to Albert Hammond Jr's [from the Strokes] album) and if you don't like the song Paris 2004 or Young Folks, you've got some issues.
What the fuck has happened to the Bears since losing the Superbowl. They've basically imploded it seems. Thomas Jones was traded to the Jets and now Lance Briggs wants to be traded too. There was a big mess about renewing Lovie Smith's contract and Ron Riveria didn't leave on the best terms either. You're supposed to all be one big happy family, according to me at least. Fucking act like it.
I bought some new green gym shoes the other day (at Payless nonetheless, another example of my big spenderness) and the check-out lady said "Oh!! And the parade is this weekend!", like she was practically reading my mind. I was all "I know! I had green shoes but I've had them for so long there's holes in the bottom so these are perfect." Everyone really IS Irish on Parade Day, even the Hispanic Payless Shoe Store lady.
Yesterday I went over to Megan's and we watched Supernanny and Rick Steve's Europe, made cupcakes and decorated them. How old am I again, because whenever I go over to Megan's I seem to turn into a 46 year old married mother of three or something. Not that I don't have fun doing it though. Megan, being my best friend and extremely funny and me, being the most easily amused person in the entire world, are probably the best combination in the entire world. She makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I don't even want to imagine how boring my life would be without her. I mean I'd drink a lot less, sure, but man without her, life would be pretty dreary. I totally got tres tres lucky in the best friend AND sister department. I must have been Florence Nightengale in a former life or something. We DO share a birthday so it's totally plausible.
The other day at work some old guy came in and as I was helping him said "WHAT ARE YA, 6 FEET TALL?" No, old-ass man, I am not 6 feet tall, I am 5'10 goddamnit. What makes you think you can say that to me? I can't say "Wow, you really have that old man stink going on, don't you?" or "Does everyone get that wrinkly when they're as close to their death bed as you are?" NO, because that would be considered "rude", so why do you think you can say that to me? No I don't play basketball, no I don't play volleyball, no I'm not wearing heels. And I'm not even THAT tall. Tall, but not Lisa Leslie-tall for fucks sake. Aggravated.
Eight fascinating paragraphs! You're welcome!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Top 10 Sister Moments
Here it is bitch, you can stop whining now. Love you!
1. Let's get this out of the way first - the dyke haircut. This haircut was not Keri's fault, although she was rocking a short hairdo for a little while which looked super cute on her. One day we went to Boric's to get our haircut, which is the cheap place to go to when you just need a trim because being only $9.99, you don't really want to trust them when you need a completely new style. When we walked out of Boric's that day, after both of us just getting a trim, I had a dyke sister. The lady had styled her short hair in the dyki-est way possbile. I don't even know how to explain it: it was just dykey. We had to walk home that day (I think we were about 13 and 14 ) and I could not stop laughing. Keri was really embarassed, but did I care? Obviously not because as I type this here at work eight years later, I'm still laughing hysterically at the thought of it. The mental picture of that haircut Ker, has gotten me through many dark times.
2. The other obvious one: the time she was driving me to the store and asked "wait, which way is Jewel?" Keri got her liscense before me (yeah yeah shut up) and we were going to Jewel, the local grocery store not too far from our house. This store has been in the same location our whole lives, it's probably about a mile away, and we had been there god knows how many times prior to this trip. As she was backing out of the driveway she stopped, looked at me and says, "Wait. Which way is Jewel?". I don't think I even answered her because I was too busy making fun of her. I really shouldn't though because I get turned around really easily too (each time I leave a store in the mall, I start walking in the same direction I just came from), but I do anyways. It's my job as the older sister: never let the younger ones forget anything stupid that they said/did.
3. The first Rufus Wainwright concert we went to - this will finally be a nice one. We saw Rufio back in February 2004 at the Riviera Theatre on the Northside of Chicago. It was on a Wednesday so we both came home from school for the night to see him and took the train down. It was pretty much the best concert that either of us have ever been to, he played everything off Want One, the album both of us were obsessed with at the time. He had a backing band which allowed him to play all the songs - we've seen him a few times since solo, and it's not the same because he can't sing all the songs without other people. For the encore Rufio and the entire band came out in witches costumes and sang "Oh What a World" and It. Was. MAGICAL. That concert has been the bar to measure up to and so far he hasn't come close again. We've seen him three other times, and each time he's awesome and flamingly homosexual, but it'll never be as awesome and flamingly homosexual as the first time we saw him. After the concert we met up with my friend Chris, drank with his friends, took the train back to his dorm and the both of us almost pee'd on the Blue Line we had to go so bad. The End.
4. The Christmas about three years ago when you made me one of those fleece blankets you tie together with ballerinas on it. Best Christmas present ever, lady. J.P, you could one up her here if you bought me a tv.
5. When we went on our first official "Sister Date" to see the Divine Secret of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood movie and then out for coffee afterwards. The movie was kinda terrible (remember how horrible those little girl actresses were? christ), the word "ya-ya" stuck with us. Nine times out of ten whenever I call Keri she answers the phone saying "YA-YA!" (or "Hey baby, where you at?" in her best smooth-black-man voice) because that's what I'm under in her phone. You'll always be my ya-ya, bitch.
6. When I visited Keri in Ireland, my one goal, besides making a baby with an Irish guy, was to buy one of those Irish hats. At one point during the week I kinda turned into a psycho crying and yelling at Keri ( I'm sorry again - I hate even thinking about it) one night. I'm not sure if it was the next day or not (but it makes a better story if it was, so I'm going with it), I was going to go into Limerick by myself to buy a hat. At the last minute Keri said she'd come with me and we took the bus into town. I was embarassed (I don't know why) to say the hat was for myself, so when I was in the hat store, I said it was for my dad, and ended up with a hat 500 times too big for my head because I'm stupid. Who knew you had a head size? For future reference, I am not a 7 1/2. But anyways, we walked around Limerick even though it was freezing balls out and stopped at a pub called Charlie Chaplin's for a Guiness. I was just glad to have Keri all to myself for a few hours cause the rest of the time Amy and Eileen were with us. I still hate them. So anyways Ker, thanks for coming with me to Limerick even though I was a raging psycho bitch the night before. Does this here bus go to Lime-rick?
7. How people think we're twins all the time. Just the other day I was at the bar and people started yelling "KERI" at me, before realizing it wasn't her. And those people call themselves your friends, for shame. When people ask if we really do look alike, I just say you're the skinnier, bigger-boobed version of me. But that's how I describe J.P too, so it probably doesn't mean much. It still weirds me out that people think we look alike, so much alike that you can have conversations with girls I went to school with for 12 years pretending to be me. And it's not weird at all that you didn't correct Lisa. Not weird at all
8. All the good shit you're gotten me in to: Sondre Lerche, The Frames, Paddy Casey, Mic Christopher, Harry Potter. Especially for Harry Potter. Remember how hard I cried at the end of the 6th book? I love books that make me cry, Harry made me cry, therefore I love you too. I did give you Rufus and Jeff Buckley though, and let's face it, those two beat all the other ones combined. Oh, and I gave you Donnie Darko. You LOVE Donnie Darko.
9. One time a few years ago, before the UPS Store moved to the new location, only me and you were home, I think the other three were on vacation or soemthing, and you brought me lunch to work, even though we had been fighting (surprise!) before you took me to work. You put a note in the bag that said "I love you Sister. Happy eating!", and I still have it on my mirror in my room. You probably don't remember this at all, but I do because it was another example about how I was a huge bitch to you, but you were still nice to me. Way to make me always look bad.
10. The last one isn't one thing specifically, but just in general how you are the best sister ever. My friends love you, probably because you're easy. Megan even claims to be a pseudo-sister (she's looking forward to you coming home on Friday too, fyi) because she's jealous she doesn't have a sister. And yeah we fight, but what sisters don't? Queer ones, that's who. I told you before how it was hard for me to think of "sister moments" we had when we were little, but it's cause we weren't close until we were about 14 or 15. Before we were 14 it was all about fighting and kicking each other in the backseat of the van, me telling you to do things (ok, that hasn't changed) and pretty much just hating you in general. And now? Now I feel bad for the girls who don't have a sister because they have no idea what they're missing out on. I love you lady and can't WAIT to see you on Friday. Sister, reunited.
THE END. Finally, the whining stops.
1. Let's get this out of the way first - the dyke haircut. This haircut was not Keri's fault, although she was rocking a short hairdo for a little while which looked super cute on her. One day we went to Boric's to get our haircut, which is the cheap place to go to when you just need a trim because being only $9.99, you don't really want to trust them when you need a completely new style. When we walked out of Boric's that day, after both of us just getting a trim, I had a dyke sister. The lady had styled her short hair in the dyki-est way possbile. I don't even know how to explain it: it was just dykey. We had to walk home that day (I think we were about 13 and 14 ) and I could not stop laughing. Keri was really embarassed, but did I care? Obviously not because as I type this here at work eight years later, I'm still laughing hysterically at the thought of it. The mental picture of that haircut Ker, has gotten me through many dark times.
2. The other obvious one: the time she was driving me to the store and asked "wait, which way is Jewel?" Keri got her liscense before me (yeah yeah shut up) and we were going to Jewel, the local grocery store not too far from our house. This store has been in the same location our whole lives, it's probably about a mile away, and we had been there god knows how many times prior to this trip. As she was backing out of the driveway she stopped, looked at me and says, "Wait. Which way is Jewel?". I don't think I even answered her because I was too busy making fun of her. I really shouldn't though because I get turned around really easily too (each time I leave a store in the mall, I start walking in the same direction I just came from), but I do anyways. It's my job as the older sister: never let the younger ones forget anything stupid that they said/did.
3. The first Rufus Wainwright concert we went to - this will finally be a nice one. We saw Rufio back in February 2004 at the Riviera Theatre on the Northside of Chicago. It was on a Wednesday so we both came home from school for the night to see him and took the train down. It was pretty much the best concert that either of us have ever been to, he played everything off Want One, the album both of us were obsessed with at the time. He had a backing band which allowed him to play all the songs - we've seen him a few times since solo, and it's not the same because he can't sing all the songs without other people. For the encore Rufio and the entire band came out in witches costumes and sang "Oh What a World" and It. Was. MAGICAL. That concert has been the bar to measure up to and so far he hasn't come close again. We've seen him three other times, and each time he's awesome and flamingly homosexual, but it'll never be as awesome and flamingly homosexual as the first time we saw him. After the concert we met up with my friend Chris, drank with his friends, took the train back to his dorm and the both of us almost pee'd on the Blue Line we had to go so bad. The End.
4. The Christmas about three years ago when you made me one of those fleece blankets you tie together with ballerinas on it. Best Christmas present ever, lady. J.P, you could one up her here if you bought me a tv.
5. When we went on our first official "Sister Date" to see the Divine Secret of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood movie and then out for coffee afterwards. The movie was kinda terrible (remember how horrible those little girl actresses were? christ), the word "ya-ya" stuck with us. Nine times out of ten whenever I call Keri she answers the phone saying "YA-YA!" (or "Hey baby, where you at?" in her best smooth-black-man voice) because that's what I'm under in her phone. You'll always be my ya-ya, bitch.
6. When I visited Keri in Ireland, my one goal, besides making a baby with an Irish guy, was to buy one of those Irish hats. At one point during the week I kinda turned into a psycho crying and yelling at Keri ( I'm sorry again - I hate even thinking about it) one night. I'm not sure if it was the next day or not (but it makes a better story if it was, so I'm going with it), I was going to go into Limerick by myself to buy a hat. At the last minute Keri said she'd come with me and we took the bus into town. I was embarassed (I don't know why) to say the hat was for myself, so when I was in the hat store, I said it was for my dad, and ended up with a hat 500 times too big for my head because I'm stupid. Who knew you had a head size? For future reference, I am not a 7 1/2. But anyways, we walked around Limerick even though it was freezing balls out and stopped at a pub called Charlie Chaplin's for a Guiness. I was just glad to have Keri all to myself for a few hours cause the rest of the time Amy and Eileen were with us. I still hate them. So anyways Ker, thanks for coming with me to Limerick even though I was a raging psycho bitch the night before. Does this here bus go to Lime-rick?
7. How people think we're twins all the time. Just the other day I was at the bar and people started yelling "KERI" at me, before realizing it wasn't her. And those people call themselves your friends, for shame. When people ask if we really do look alike, I just say you're the skinnier, bigger-boobed version of me. But that's how I describe J.P too, so it probably doesn't mean much. It still weirds me out that people think we look alike, so much alike that you can have conversations with girls I went to school with for 12 years pretending to be me. And it's not weird at all that you didn't correct Lisa. Not weird at all
8. All the good shit you're gotten me in to: Sondre Lerche, The Frames, Paddy Casey, Mic Christopher, Harry Potter. Especially for Harry Potter. Remember how hard I cried at the end of the 6th book? I love books that make me cry, Harry made me cry, therefore I love you too. I did give you Rufus and Jeff Buckley though, and let's face it, those two beat all the other ones combined. Oh, and I gave you Donnie Darko. You LOVE Donnie Darko.
9. One time a few years ago, before the UPS Store moved to the new location, only me and you were home, I think the other three were on vacation or soemthing, and you brought me lunch to work, even though we had been fighting (surprise!) before you took me to work. You put a note in the bag that said "I love you Sister. Happy eating!", and I still have it on my mirror in my room. You probably don't remember this at all, but I do because it was another example about how I was a huge bitch to you, but you were still nice to me. Way to make me always look bad.
10. The last one isn't one thing specifically, but just in general how you are the best sister ever. My friends love you, probably because you're easy. Megan even claims to be a pseudo-sister (she's looking forward to you coming home on Friday too, fyi) because she's jealous she doesn't have a sister. And yeah we fight, but what sisters don't? Queer ones, that's who. I told you before how it was hard for me to think of "sister moments" we had when we were little, but it's cause we weren't close until we were about 14 or 15. Before we were 14 it was all about fighting and kicking each other in the backseat of the van, me telling you to do things (ok, that hasn't changed) and pretty much just hating you in general. And now? Now I feel bad for the girls who don't have a sister because they have no idea what they're missing out on. I love you lady and can't WAIT to see you on Friday. Sister, reunited.
THE END. Finally, the whining stops.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Your Post Is Coming Soon Ker, Promise
Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog. Comment back if you post it on your site. No comment regarding whatever songs that might come up.
Will I get far in life? It's A Hit - Rilo Kiley
How do my friends see me? Midnight Rambler - Rolling Stones
Where will I get married? White Shadows - Coldplay
What is my best friend's theme song? Haiti - The Arcade Fire
What is the story of my life? Turn the Page - Metallica
What was high school like? A Higher Place - Tom Petty
How can I get ahead in life? Danny Boy - Rufus Wainwright
What is the best thing about me? I Wanna Be Your Lover - Bob Dylan
How is today going to be? Desolation Row - Bob Dylan
What is in store for this weekend? Lover Come Back to Me - Billie Holiday. I'm excited now.
What song describes my parents? Nothing Better - The Postal Service
What song describes my grandparents? In My Arms - Rufus Wainwright
How is my life going? 6th Avenue Heartache - The Wallflowers
What song will they play at my funeral? California Love - Tupac
How does the world see me? Dream Brother - Jeff Buckley
Will I have a happy life? Coming Up - Paul McCartney
What do my friends really think of me? Different Drum - Linda Ronstadt
Do people secretly lust after me? Blue Eyes - Cary Brothers
How can I make myself happy? Against the Tide - The Radio Dept.
What should I do with my life? Workin' 9-5 - Dolly Parton
Where have all the good people gone? Amsterdam - Coldplay
Will I ever have children? Apple Suckling Tree - Bob Dylan and The Band
What is some good advice? Dream Awake - The Frames
What is my signature dancing song? The Ballad of John and Yoko - The Beatles
What do I think my current theme song is? Piggies - The Beatles. (I wish I was kidding)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Natural Anthem - The Postal Service
What type of men/women do you like? Hosanna - Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack. Gay ones, apparently.
Will I get far in life? It's A Hit - Rilo Kiley
How do my friends see me? Midnight Rambler - Rolling Stones
Where will I get married? White Shadows - Coldplay
What is my best friend's theme song? Haiti - The Arcade Fire
What is the story of my life? Turn the Page - Metallica
What was high school like? A Higher Place - Tom Petty
How can I get ahead in life? Danny Boy - Rufus Wainwright
What is the best thing about me? I Wanna Be Your Lover - Bob Dylan
How is today going to be? Desolation Row - Bob Dylan
What is in store for this weekend? Lover Come Back to Me - Billie Holiday. I'm excited now.
What song describes my parents? Nothing Better - The Postal Service
What song describes my grandparents? In My Arms - Rufus Wainwright
How is my life going? 6th Avenue Heartache - The Wallflowers
What song will they play at my funeral? California Love - Tupac
How does the world see me? Dream Brother - Jeff Buckley
Will I have a happy life? Coming Up - Paul McCartney
What do my friends really think of me? Different Drum - Linda Ronstadt
Do people secretly lust after me? Blue Eyes - Cary Brothers
How can I make myself happy? Against the Tide - The Radio Dept.
What should I do with my life? Workin' 9-5 - Dolly Parton
Where have all the good people gone? Amsterdam - Coldplay
Will I ever have children? Apple Suckling Tree - Bob Dylan and The Band
What is some good advice? Dream Awake - The Frames
What is my signature dancing song? The Ballad of John and Yoko - The Beatles
What do I think my current theme song is? Piggies - The Beatles. (I wish I was kidding)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Natural Anthem - The Postal Service
What type of men/women do you like? Hosanna - Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack. Gay ones, apparently.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
